seeking for perfection..

in my subtle pursuit of perfection, it may have come to a point, where i live my dreams on others and have driven others to attain perfection, rather than to drive myself.. but i am consciously aware that this will do no good to the other parties.. how did things lead up to this state??

on a side note, i gave the flea market at zouk a miss this afternoon.. apparently, it's pretty exciting with loads of stuff up for sale.. but i gave it a miss.. i'm so sorry girlfriends!!! hopefully the date at macs will work out..

vincent!!! happy 21st birthday!!!

this is the 2nd 21st birthday party in 2 weeks.. last week was a drunk birthday boy and today was a wet birthday boy.. vincent, our lead actor in the middle of the photo, was pushed into the swimming pool by his schoolmates.. a pretty small and quiet gathering, which made me decided that maybe i should just have a really small one of close friends.. but my close friends amount to quite a number too.. *headache*..

quite a different bbq too.. with the unusual food... quite interesting.. in all sorts of ways.. some even got a little petrified.. and suren went on telling about this really interesting clip whereby an alien got killed by a disco ball, while singing 'i will survive'... and i just can't help laughing the whole time.. anyway, we just ate and ate and talk and talk.. benedict just kept eating away, on vegetables.. hmm, not the type of diet i would prefer... not now or anywhere in the future.. but i want a 'seefood' diet.. coz i'll get to eat whenever i see food.. well, apparently, it's a old joke from uncle jeam, which jo told just now..

there will definitely be more '21st's to attend.. hmm, no wonder the guys are telling me on the possibilities of going broke.. but it's also a great time to catch up with old friends and all.. oh yah, and if there's gonna be a party, i think mine will end up being a wild one and will end late too.. opps!!

this is actually a photo from long long ago... hmm, for a closer and better look, click on the picture itself.. well, as you can see, this was taken 3 years ago.. most of us, actually all of us have changed quite a bit and moved on quite a distance too.. rovis and leena have gone over to the states due to work commitments.. yueping is now working at MOEnvironment.. emily ang & lixian have become full-fledged teachers, contributing to the future of the nation.. amelia is now working at the sports school.. margy is now on her way to a-levels.. deb's leaving for down under soon.. wei is going to graduate and enter nie.. eunice is now at fass.. tim has graduated and doing research at sgh.. emily lee has set up her own cooking website!!well, i definitely left out a lot of ppl here too.. but just that, so much have changed over the course of 3 years..

today's my more-relaxed day.. have classes only from 1600-1800 at arts.. not to mention that it's webcasted so i can afford to miss it and not miss out much.. except what t.c.chang said, the human touch of a lecture.. gonna go visit lixian at her school and meet her for lunch later.. finally able to fix up a time after such a long time.. really looking forward to the appointment later..

hmm, you must be wondering, why am i blogging at such an hour?? well, my computer is gonna go pay the 'doc' a visit tomorrow and goodness knows how long it will stay there.. well, just hope that all will go well coz i've too much stuff in there.. gonna miss my computer for some time.. and will not be able to upload any photos for some time to come.. sigh!! but i'm thankful that at least i can get it to work now..

fyi: my wonderful timetable

actually this is more meant for friends who want to find me for lunch or dinner during school hours.. and definitely for friends whom i want to meet up but can never find a chance to.. so look at my schedule and tell me when you are free [during the times when i'm free too]... then we'll meet up!!!

mondays: 9-10, 10-12, 16-17;
tuesdays: 9-10, 12-13, 14-16, 16-18;
wednesdays: 9-10, 10-11, 12-17, 18-20;
thursdays: 16-18;
fridays: 9-11, 11-13, 14-15, 16-18, 18-20;

tuesdays 12-13 & 14-16 exist during some weeks only.. other than that, i'm free during those times too!! and yeah, i definitely love fridays.. imagine the joy of rushing between 3 faculties.. what an enjoyment and a great end to the whole week!!

kendrick!!! happy 21st birthday!!!

yeah, the 1st of the many 21st birthdays that i will attend this year.. and to kick start the whole chain of birthdays, we have here, our dearest classmate, kendrick.. dwi fell sick and couldn't make it.. kianyaw had ihg volleyball training and quanyi couldn't make it too.. so the attendees were: peijie, xingyi, doreen, jianz, kelvin su & kelvin li..

it was a great gathering, seeing kendrick turning the full legal age.. well, at least with respect to next thursday.. the kr ppl were there.. sheena's family was there.. and oh man, i was so close in succeeding to kidnap sheena's cousin, peixin, home!!! well, she 'disappeared' before i could find her.. really adorable kid, who went ard saying 'hello' to everyone.. and i was the part-time nanny till i handed her back to kendrick..

well, we played that silly number game.. in the end, we all ended up at the bbq pit cooking for each other.. meanwhile, kendrick got dead drunk by his dearest hall-mates, with special mention of ***.. goodness man!! he was already gone by 1015pm, which was way too early.. sheena had to hold on to him when he was blowing out his candles.. and the next moment, he was back in bed.. dead drunk!! and this is really dumb, we tried taking a photo with the birthday boy sleeping.. but it's a pretty cool idea.. and there was a post-party going on outside the chalet, while kendrick was sleeping away.. anyway, go check out the photos in my cn6 album..

i was just thinking to myself, if i am to hold a party, my guest list will be very much longer and i will be a terrible host on the day itself, coz there's so many ppl to entertain!! still thinking what shall i do for mine...

"what sort of boy are you looking for?"

intelligent and chaste
Intelligence is a major factor to you, maybe not in such a fanatical way but you truly prefer it if your boy has some sense. You would also prefer it if he has the sense to wait for the right person and doesn't think than he can wantonly give himself away because he's a boy - he takes things like that seriously. Of course, it also doesn't mean that he has to be an extreme genius or extremely naive.

~disclaimer: i'm so bored and procrastinating totally.. that explains why i did a quiz like this.. all in the name of fun.. *laughs*.. oh yes, i just watched les choristes again!! ~

hmm.. this is a really poor quality version of the poster but the better version just refused to work.. anyway, went with cherie to catch this movie today.. thought that it's really good.. the soundtrack was wonderful, the dance moves were just so great... and you know what?? richard gere is still that charming.. though you can see all the lines on his face, he still has that charisma, similar to that in both pretty woman & runaway bride.. not to mention that those 2 are amongst my all-time favourite movies.. gosh!! he just ages like fine wine..

yeah, it really reminded me of the time when we all went to learn cha-cha.. yeah, it's a long story how it ended up being cha-cha instead of salsa.. oh man, the movie reminds me of how much i want to learn ballroom dancing but sad enough, i don't have the time to spare and it's just too expensive too.. and when the opportunity comes along, i just can't seem to find time for it.. but i really want to take up ballroom dancing again.. and definitely, to learn salsa...

met steph, karin and the guys for dinner at plaza sing swensens.. just realised how much i missed seeing steph, cherie, min and the rest... and yes, min, where are you!!!?? hmm.. oh wells, shall catch ya in school.. and to top off my dinner together with a sticky chewy chocolate.. man, i'm gonna fall sick soon, eating so much stuff.. then it's really funny but we all started talking about dance classes again.. how lloyd and cherie are taking salsa classes now but at different places.. how jooteng wishes to take hip-hop but we all deemed that we are too old for it.. then again, jootz is the youngest of all.. ended up taking silly photos, which i've uploaded.. so folks, go check them out in my photo album yah!! well, edmund finally appeared at 11pm when cherie and me were about to go home..

had so much fun today.. just being with them, even if it's just walking ard, listening to army talk, taking silly photos.. guess it will be different if the company changes.. well, the guys are gonna have their own lives soon but for now, i just love the company of the whole gang.. by the way, i feel like watching the original japanese version of shall we dance.. =)

moods..

hmm, was coming back from ofn at university hall yesterday afternoon, when i met tammi.. hmm, haven't seen her for a very long time... and i really mean a really long time.. was just chatting up on stuff... fic and all... hmm, ken tan is the project director for fic this year.. and ken pan and kelvin tang are the project directors for rag & flag this year.. erm yah.. kelvin is doing rag again..

just feeling a little nostalgic then coz i was involved in these 2 projects during orientation last year.. and in a way, i was so close to taking them up again this year... but it's just how i've set my objectives this year.. to go yep with the rag comm ppl, provided that i don't disappear before that.. and definitely, preparing to leave for sep, which is something.. well, you can say that i've invested my heart into it.. well, guess this is the closure to my involvement in nussu..

hmm, can't exactly say that i'm in an extremely great mood, neither am i in an extremely foul mood.. just in the state of that whatever mood.. so weird but i can't explain it.. just read noelle's blog and she's in the blah mood.. hmm, everyone's getting moods.. must be the weather.. think i shall go rest, since i have a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg day later today..

here's weijie & me.. at die deutsche bücher section of kinokuniya.. accidental meeting though.. we were catching up a little and discussing on sep locations and modules.. anyway, i realised that i'm quite a hopeless fool when i'm in a bookstore.. i'll stay there for hours, doing pure browsing regardless of whether i'll buy anything eventually or not.. so it took me quite a while before tearing myself away from kino this evening..

william's & qihui's wedding

"I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/ husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

hee.. another wonderful wedding.. and i helped out!! hee.. spent the last 2 evenings with emily ang and weixun, doing up the decorations.. really sweet and it's william's favourite colour.. we were musing about why qihui's favourite colour was not used instead... check out the decors under my photo link.. they are so pretty.. and the design was done by my 'teacher', emily!!! see, i'm trying to learn bits about wedding decors and build my own portfolio so next time, i can do it for others too!!! so all you people out there, remember to employ my services when you get married yah!!??

we put together the flower bunches from scratch... quite fun, coz i didn't get to try it during sally's & kurt's wedding as i was a beginner then.. and the 'bouqueting' process requires quite a bit of skill.. i'm actually still a beginner.. *laughs*.. and finally put the flowers with the applegreen cloth for the final effect!!! sehr sehr schön!!! ich mag es sehr gerne!!!

during the rehearsal, this question popped into my head.. 'what will the bride be thinking about as she walks down the aisle?? what will the groom be thinking as his bride walks towards him??' anyway, weixun satisfied my curiousity and said that, on that day, you will feel a little dazed out coz there's too many people around wishing you and all.. after a while, you kinda get a little blur and the whole day just rushes passed..

a pretty long day, yet one of the really nice ones.. well, it's the highlight of my week!! i really do love weddings... and i had a really good time catching up with emily too.. oh, eunice read the scriptures in both chinese and english.. woohoo!!! 3 cheers for eunice!! hmm.. but i won't be around for yueping's & yongxiang's wedding... but i made yongxiang promised to send me the photos.. *laughs*..

don't exactly know what else to say about the wedding but it was really nice.. celeste and chloe were the flower girls and uncle ken's son was the ring bearer.. hmm, didn't get to take much photos during the service coz was busy 'working'... so just take a look at those which were taken before and after the wedding.. =P

to sidetrack a little, had a really terrible and long day yesterday.. 11 hours straight of school with no breaks and was rushing from engin to science and finally to arts.. barely made it for cell but didn't stay for long coz had to help out with the decors.. oh yes, for once a month, cell is gonna be on sat 10am!! woohoo!!! that means i can go for cell at least once a month!!! yahoo!! yeah and i'm kinda regretting a little over taking 7 modules.. went for all the introductory lectures and realised that the workload is more than killing.. but.. i'm gonna hold on to my Father's word and put my trust in Him.. and thank God for my mum, who woke up early to make me my lunch-cum-dinner-box.. =)

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be."

~Robert Browning

choose to feel

think i blogged a little too much today but i just wanna share my thoughts on what i read today.. it's nothing about any kinetics or dynamics but rather, how my tots on 2 different days seemed to coincide a little..

met sally yesterday and i was just telling her, how when God made us parents, in a way He's allowing us to feel the pain that He goes through too as our heavenly Father.. how we choose not to listen to Him but choose to do things our own way.. and how He knows that our choice is not right but yet He allows us to go through it even though it pains Him... and how we choose to reject Him and stray away.. and yet when we come crying to Him, He will just take us as we are, into arms wide opened.. in the same way, how we choose to disobey our parents and yet they still love us just the same.. just like how our Father Almighty loves us too..

missed my morning devotion coz i woke up late.. but i read it at the end of the day instead.. today's passage is taken from Hosea 11 on, God's love for Israel.. as i read it, it's just weird how you can feel the Father's pain of His children rejecting Him and yet He is still that gentle Father, taking care of them, gently drawing them back to Him.. the writer for today's reading wrote that, when we choose to feel the full range of our emotions, we come to a fuller understanding of the God who created us in His image - the image of One who feels..

isn't it just so great that we have a Father that still cares for us at the end of it all?? but it's really His grace that gave and still gives us this hope.. and He will still take me as i am..

parts of my memory

actually there's 2 issues with my memory today... one happened in the morning and one in the afternoon.. the morning one was actually quite irritating.. oh, if you still didn't know, school has started for me.. been to a series of introductory lectures and well, i'm starting to kick myself a little about my modules.. i was telling siok, i hope to survive and i want to too..

yeah, anyway, this is pretty dumb but on my way to school today, i had to make 2 trips back home.. this will be something that jianz will go, please don't go around telling other ppl coz it's just so embarrassing.. but first, i forgot my sweater.. yeah, forgot to pick it up from my bed.. then i forgot my handphone.. so smart!!! was late for lecture, missing a bit of what i deemed for this semester as the most interesting lecturer's lecture... and then towards the end of the lecture, i remembered that i forgot to bring the notes for my next lecture!!! so exciting!!! i'm so sure i like it man!!! yongquan was like, you should go buy a file like mine and file everything in, all you need to do is to update the notes each time the chapter is done.. and he even showed me of the so-called decorations he added to his file.. argh!!! but i have already colour-coded all my files for my modules!!! this is so irritating!!!

yeah, then was running errand for my dad in the afternoon and guess who i met?? i met florence and jade.. the gals from krss when i was teaching there.. they just finished their chemistry test.. and then guess what?? almost the whole bunch of the 3/3.. now should be 5/3 malay boys were at macs.. and they came down to talk to me and all.. but i kinda forgot their names but they are that bunch that made me laugh and cry 2 years ago.. it's really weird.. but it's a sense of unspoken joy within.. it's just so nice to see them again, and to see them in sec. 5 now.. and to see them doing well.. it's just funny that, till this day, they still make me laugh and how they still remember you and asking you each time when you will return to teach them again, though i did a terrible job.. i really did.. but it really warms my heart to see them again..

had tuition today.. and saw that long list that noelle left for luke.. just thinking about how i won't need to leave one list like that, more like i'll need frequent calls to make sure that everything is good at home.. and i hope i'm doing a good job helping people coz i really question my own abilities and character..

youth camp 2005

that's how i spent the last few days before school starts all over again.. in the same way that this camp was kinda important for cheepeng to attend, it's the same for me.. coz after this, i'll be back into the system of mad rush again.. you can say that i needed this camp too..

yeah, i 'ditched' the genies on friday afternoon so as to pack and prepare for the camp.. so sorry folks.. i miss you all too and i really hope i'll get to see you all somehow when school begins.. and before you proceed with the reading, let me warn you that it's a long post..

met jo and we took a train down to tampines to meet the rest and boarded bus 29 to get to the chalet.. later then i realised that, the chalet for our youth camp many many many years ago was actually just next door to the one that we stayed at this time round..

florence did the checking in for both chalets and treated us to her marvellous, savoury lemon tart-cookie... when more people came, we had ice-breakers and no prizes for guessing what game it was... well, none other than polar bear... but jeremy taught us a different one from that which we played at youth retreat last year.. this version was similar to the one that lionel kong taught my og during orientation 4 years ago and that was the first time i played polar bear... hicks, no one believed that i don't lie and i really wasn't the polar bear!!! hicks.. *laughs*..

had a really great worship but i was.. opps.. falling asleep due to the fatigue from the night before.. followed by a walk down changi sailing club.. goodness, so many people were fishing late at night!! and elaine loves being in photos.. while moving the mattresses between the rooms, elaine just kept laughing and laughing.. well, till the point where deb and me started laughing too and we just dropped the mattresses on the floor.. hicks.. yeah, the girls fell asleep at about 1 plus.. but the guys continued having fun till about 3..

more people came on saturday.. you know what?? for me, the food was one of the highlights of the camp.. with cheepeng as chef and food coordinator.. woohoo!!! breakfast was carrot cake.. lunch was seafood pasta.. dinner was bbq.. and today's breakfast was american style z.B scrambled eggs with tomatoes.. and lunch was mutton soup with 3 different types of fried rice.. sehr spannend!!!

florence planned a really interesting session for us, talking about situations in the world and all.. suren and me did a mini collage on 'glimmer of hope'.. yupz, we cut all the pictures but stuck the final one beneath the rest.. "why did Jesus die".. He did, so that we can have the ultimate hope in life.. yeah, the point of the session was to show that God works in the little things of daily lives too and hope is there.. in the afternoon, we had 3 interesting workshops... creative writing by huiran & eunice; art-drawing by our resident artist, yueping; photography workshop by colin and jimmy, who ended up sleeping upstairs coz he was really tired.. yeah, some of the works during the art-drawing workshop are in my photo album.. oh yah, i wrote a poem too!! haha, but i can't remember what i wrote though...

had bbq for dinner... once again, i better stay out of the cooking zone, else i'll burn the whole place down.. well, jon tan supported my statement though.. *laughs*.. yeah, we just sat around and kept eating.. talking and catching up and deb developed a headache.. think it's the dehydration coz all of us had very little fluid the entire day.. the neighbours a few doors down, were watching the finals of tiger cup where singapore was playing against indonesia.. that was quite a din though.. haha.. we played polar bear again after bbq ended.. good observations killed all the polar bears.. we then had presentations of what we did at the workshops.. pretty cool.. hearing from each other and all..

oh, cheepeng then suggested that we go down to taman merah ferry point to just walk and all.. with the cold wind blowing and ice cream eating, we were literally freezing.. oh yah, cheepeng was really funny.. when an aeroplane flew overhead, he shouted with all his might.. when the plane was gone, he was like, who's that fella that shouted just now?? haiyoh!!! we hung around till about 12.15am.. some of us packed into josh's car and was tailing cheepeng's.. then came along some car that resembled cheepeng's, which turned into the changi ferry point carpark and we followed suit.. erm, but it wasn't cheepeng's... opps.. blooper of the day...

we then had bridge marathon.. oh my gosh, we all got so excited and shocked at 4 no-trumps but guess what, small sean bidded for 5 hearts!!! oh my gosh, nearly fainted from it.. fatigue finally got to us by 2.. but the guys are up as usual, and continued playing bridge till 3 plus..

we had some role playing session today.. and one of the topics that suren, eunice, small sean and me discussed about was, what is your passion in life?? what is your desire in life?? for me, that was another highlight of the camp.. these sessions really made me think though.. for some things, i really hope that they are more than just a spurt of the moment... pastor nick came down in the afternoon during our mini-debrief session.. cheepeng was really innovative.. he came up with this award system whereby we would pick something from the pile of food items on the floor and give it to someone, who has a trait similar to that of the food item.. it's really interesting.. oh yah, and i'm the aunty who's really soft on the inside.. *laughs*..

eunice msged me later in the evening, saying that she's missing everyone at the camp already... so am i..

just got back from luyee's place.. tired tired.. yeah, our rag comm cum leetong's farewell gathering.. we had so much food and loads of leftovers too.. hahah, mahjong, movie marathon, pictionary.. we all got so excited.. oh, leetong's going for noc to shanghai some time this month.. but anyway, i caught this movie yesterday with deborah!!! yeah, gonna introduce her to the 1st one too.. daowen was going on about how funny it was but i think that the first one is still better... cool word, fockerized!!! right.. yeah, anyway, kinda fulfilled all the movies that i wanna watch during the holidays so now, no more reason to slack!! haha, what a resolution.. me being me, i'll still slack during term time!! ahahah!!!

i think i've gone nuts!! woohoo!!

and i seriously think so.. anyway, before i launch into my story, i bet you all realised how much i've blogged lately.. yeah, when you have nothing better to do, staring at the same stuff everyday and looking at the same issues, too many tots will run thru your head..

oh!! this is for char & ade: guess what?? rather guess who?? i met minghwee today!! yeah!! he still looks the same and still as busy as ever.. even better, he's still going for his pottery class at tanglin cc.. yah man, even after 2 years, he's still at it!! so exciting!! bet he must be some master at it now.. oh yes, he mentioned that he's too busy to be on icq too..

anyway, i really think i've gone nuts!!! *drumroll please*... i'm taking 7 modules this semester!! woohoo!! simply madness... 5 core modules, german and geog gem.. yeah, geog again... and even better!!! the geog paper is right after one of my core modules in the evening, when my core is in the afternoon!!! yeah, my timetable is crap too!! someone please check on my sanity level yah!!! oh yes, i emptied my general account too!!!

honestly it was a tough decision.. shall not repeat my story here but it's really tough.. there's so much that i want to do and what to complete, i think i've come to a point of driving myself a little too far.. i don't know how much i can take or how far i can still go.. throughout this sem break, i just felt myself pushing forward.. no idea what it is, but i just keep pushing.. sounds a little dumb but yeah.. and there's still quite a bit of stuff i have to do.. but at this point, all i can do is just wait.. wait for answers, for information to be given to me.. i just hope that i didn't send myself into the gas chamber..

oh yah, i met eunice li today!! that gal had and still having a heck of an experience.. *laughs*.. things that i will never attempt even if i dream and conceive about it.. that will be another story but it just made me think a little on, maybe i just want to break out of the norm.. to do something different and do what i really like.. josh said that i'm insane.. that i won't take modules coz they are easy to score/ give me an easier life but i would take modules that i like and will enjoy, which is crazy in the nus context.. well, maybe.. but i want to seek happiness amongst all the craziness and maybe this is how i do it..

to tell the truth, i have no idea how am i gonna last the semester and to finish all the work before me.. but i was just telling Him, if You are gonna let me have this geog module, You will have to help me plan out loads of stuff and give me the strength and the wisdom to get through the entire sem, all my 7 mods and the crazy exams too.. i think i've never exactly listen much to Him but been telling Him what i want.. but after i told Him that, this light-hearted feeling just filled me.. it just felt so good and "i want to praise my Lord some more!!" but i still know that it's not right but i still do it.. why am i still like that.. hicks..

on a sidenote: luke was telling me about the life of a water molecule and he was like, it's so poor thing.. it will not die.. it just keep flowing.. and now it's stuck in this red metal exxonmobil waterbottle.. hmm, shall give it a roller coaster joyride!!

if the phantom had a power over christine, in the same way, the phantom of the opera has a power over me.. in the same way it mesmerised me 10 years ago, it still mesmerised and charmed me this day.. the brain, the mind, the talent, the intelligience of a genius which turned into a training, an obsession, a love that suffocates and controls her.. yet, the hatred, the insults, the face behind the mask turned him into a pitiful soul...

here, meet the angel of music.. a musical that i loved and still love.. guess it will be one of those evergreen musicals.. and i really want to watch the musical again but don't think that it will ever run here again... maybe in the future, some time some where...

the 1st day of school.. but not for me!!

yeah.. today's the 1st day of school for many people.. the primary, secondary and jc kids... smu and ntu people.. while nus is still roaming free on the streets.. well, almost until 130pm, when school's out for the secondary school kids and once again, they flooded the streets...

anyway, was back in nus and once again, rather almost every time, i felt as though i got clubbed on my head each time i go to the dept office.. and i just feel like my life just got a little more complicated each time i stepped out of the office.. hicks.. but shall not fret coz i have a mightier God in control..

then was late for my appointment with cherie.. so sorry gal!! i really dun like all these admin work!! argh!!! took bus 95 and went passed all my 3 schools!! see, i went to 3 different schools but they were all situated at the same place, along the same road.. and i saw the same environment for 12 whole years.. i can tell you about the changes that took place along dover road man!!! saw the anxious parents standing at the covered play-area of my primary school, sending their beloved primary 1 children to class.. saw the numerous ogs peppering the walkways of my jc, with the students all in different uniforms... hicks, all reminded me of those days.. esp orientation days in jc.. both as a j1 kid and as an ogl.. all the fun, the dance, the cheers, the discouragement, the tiredness, which led to great friendships and memories..

cherie and me shopped from bugis, all the way to city hall and to orchard.. oh man, we walked so much.. i was like, how could it be possible that we walked even more in europe, yet we didn't feel as tired as walking only this much in singapore.. conclusion??? the weather... and yes, it finally stopped raining for the bulk of today.. which is really a good thing.. going out with horrible weather is such a turn-off..

came home with much to do though.. more admin stuff to settle and i hope that i did the right thing.. for the past few months, been doing so much corresponding with my dept admin, i'm pretty irritated at how things are done and all that i have to do as well.. sunny was like, down the road when you look back, you may just learn how to deal with all these crap.. well, maybe.. but then again, i can't help but complain!!! hahaha... okay, stop laughing at me...

oh yah, min applied for ubc in canada and cherie applied for noc to the US.. hicks.. looks like all of us will be disappearing somehow to somewhere at some time.. just feeling a little nostalgic here.. great, must be the coming of age.. goodness, i feel old looking at those teens populating the streets man!! and now, i sound like some fella part of the old folks' home.. sheesh!!

let's call it: my 1st resolution for the new year

currently listening to: chayanne - yo te amo

*laughs*.. one song that has stuck with me for more than half a year and has gone to many places with me.. particularly on the train rides to konstanz, car rides to KL.. seems so far away now since 2004 is over..

went for watchnight service yesterday night.. my second one.. and each time, i'm really glad that i went for it, even though i gave my friends a miss.. like aunty siew lee said, it's just so wonderful to hear others share, testimonies and you seriously feel so blessed from hearing them all.. it's definitely better than joining the mad crowds in counting down and given the lousy weather, not exactly a good thing to stay outdoors too long..

hmm, shall share about something that is really close to my heart.. in my previous post, i wrote about the ministries that i'm serving in.. the one that i'm more confused about is actually children ministry... yes, the same phrase, time flies.. think i've been serving in children's ministry for about 5 years?? and i'm starting to think if i'm been a blessing or have i been blessed more...

emily mentioned a few months ago, on how we may end Kids' Church if no one takes over.. wei's been praying about it and he's focusing on other ministries, which is a good thing for him.. and so, we may really end KC after this month.. but God is good, He puts burdens in people's hearts in very different ways..

uncle edwin was sharing yesterday night about community outreach and all... hmm, i must say this, it's always really encouraging to hear uncle edwin share.. can still remember that jogging session 2 retreats ago.. anyway, he was sharing about how when we serve, we must have the joy of serving.. when we lose that joy, it makes no sense in serving anymore.. well, at the beginning of last year, i really thought that i've lost that joy.. i was so close to just give up in serving.. but thank God i didn't.. He renewed my strength and.. here i am today..

anyway, it was 1230am and i guess, i was getting really sleepy, so i wasn't exactly focusing on what uncle edwin was saying but i caught bits and pieces here and there.. and yes, he's taking over and leading us in KC, with aunty sarah and emily as co-vice chairs.. oh man, this is so exciting.. KC has been such a great part of quite a number of our lives and it's really something that we all looked forward to every 3rd sunday of the month... i must admit that there are times when i really slack off KC coz of physical tiredness/ school/ whatever else.. but the joy of seeing the kids praising the Lord, growing in the Lord, it's just more than words.. and it really encourages me to go on...

sometimes, i really wonder how long this joy will last, but if possible, i really want it to last as long as it can.. but i know that i can't do this alone.. i need His strength to go on, His wisdom to guide me in doing what's right.. it is still Him that i'm serving..