yet another day.. week gone by..

still using my dad's notebook though i have just placed orders for my own.. went back to school on thursday to go buy my notebook at matric fair... got daniel to 'smuggle' me into the fair, made a heck load of noise to convince the ibm sales person to allow me to purchase the notebook... goodness!!! i just feel so much poorer now.. and the best part, i was that close in purchasing an ibook but... oh wells...

went down to nussu sec and met up with the present rag and flag comm treasurer... hmm, much memories returned and was trying to retrace my method of calculating last year's financial statements... gonna go back to school next thursday to help out with the calculation of the statements and on saturday for score tabulation.. lookng forward to meet the rest of my rag comm.. erm, whoever that will be going down but kel & luyee will be there!! can't wait..

gave cell a miss for 2 weeks in a row coz of work.. there's just so much.. still trying to get used to it and trying to work as fast as possible coz of datelines and all.. but yesterday evening, i ended up at lau pa sat and eventually brewerkz with liwei and weiyao after ot!!! haven't seen these guys since may.. goodness!! and meanwhile, liwei has jetsetted to down under and now, in thailand.. HUMPH!!! weiyao is stuck in the lab doing his urops research.. stressed man!!! anyway, it has been half a year since i last went to brewerkz.. but this time round, i did not drink... i realised that i don't exactly have great affinity for beer, even if it is erdinger.. i don't exactly mind the initial and the intermediate taste of beer but i really dislike the aftertaste... shall stick to cocktails if anything... but i had nachos!! the cheese and tomato sauce were good but it wasn't sufficient!!! a whole chunk of my nachos had nothing on it... goodness!! so plain and normal.. and yes, i got home at 1am.. it's been a long time since i got back home so late.. naughty girl!!!

anyways, it was a great time of catching up and talking rubbish all over again.. miss these folks, especially since i'm flying off soon and gonna be back even before they fly over for the summer semester.. no wonders why they are trying so hard to convince me to extend my sep duration.. and yes, where is the money gonna come from??

watching 'the legend of bagger vance' and blogging at the same time.. the movie is still going on but this is what i learnt about 'how drunk is drunk' at the beginning of the movie..

"firstly, all the unhappy and sad cells are killed so you start getting really happy.. and then, all the quiet cells are killed so you start getting really crazy and start talking so loudly.. and the final ones to go are the memory cells and they are the hardest ones to get rid of.."

goodness knows how true the statement is but am suffering a terrible calf muscle cramp now.. believed that it's due to insufficient stretching earlier this afternoon.. but oh wells, shall go continue watching my movie and pray that the battery of this notebook actually lasts..

splattered all over..

feeling really tired from work but still not asleep.. stupid move but who cares?? my logic is as long as i don't collapse during working hours.. no biggies.. but yet i can feel my head swamping up soon...

desktop died again.. using dad's notebook till i get mine.. spending future money again.. no idea how to compensate all the credits since debits are almost close to zero.. oh sheesh, too much rap 7.. i'm even talking like one of it now...

been having really terrible moods lately.. and some folks may have had much crap from me.. so sorry folks.. lately been a roller coaster, just that the ride is still at the bottom of the loop.. literally no momentum is swinging me back up the loop.. but what the heck.. to certain extent, work helps me to escape from it all.. even hiding behind the bush doesn't work anymore.. seems like the bush is too small to contain my size.. but guess i'm controlling myself a little better.. if i had told anyone about anything a few days back, i am seriously convinced that i'll end up crying..

terrible post with parts of my brain splattered all over it.. picturing the to-do list at work.. waiting to administer the ticks to the check-list..

ich bin KO!!!

haven't felt so tired for such a long time to come.. i'm beginning to suspect that i'm actually running on energy reserve now.. did the most unlikely thing that i will do for a long time to come: fall asleep on the couch while watching television in the afternoon!!! oh wells.. and the sun went into hiding after 12nn.. it was so depressing coz the rain came back.. and thus so, my msn nick stays as, ain't no sunshine...

spent the entire morning and early afternoon in church... preparing for seeker's service.. and it really freaked the heck out of us when we heard a loud crack in qihui's ankle.. sheesh!! but thanks be to God, all is well and it's just a friction between knuckles, however care should still be taken..

procrastinate and procrastinated, i did not go to work in the end.. felt so stoned out after leaving church.. man!! and i realised how interesting the television looked actually.. by the way, desktop died again so here i am on my dad's notebook... i want my own too!!! banking on the guys to get all the application forms for me during matric fair.. sheesh!! matriculation was exactly 2 years ago!!!!

just realised that school is starting soon coz everyone is making noise over the CORS system, what modules to take and so on... and i just remembered that ntu is starting school this coming monday.. sheesh!!! hmm and then it will be nus, then smu.. crap, how to meet up with people at this rate?? by the way, saw mingui at ginza this afternoon then i suddenly realised that i've not seen him for like goodness knows how long.. and i met weiliang too at clementi central and that boy's hair has turned black!! thanks to the wonders of saf.. saw some other people too.. people from a not too long ago part of my life.. hesitated about striking a conversation with them, which i didn't eventually.. hmm, shall hide behind the bush for the period of time till further notice..

anyway, xiaojun's home.. yiting will be home in 3 weeks' time.. on a sidenote, can't wait to see meiyan and all during rag again... gonna make sure that i clear work so need not go back on 6th august.. and if lucky enough, jootz may be dancing for science rag!! woohoo!! and if i'm crazy enough, may crash lectures one fine day...

here's my new addition!! it was an impulsive purchase but i have a huge affinity for it!!! man, i was so closed to buying the duck if adeline had not 'violently' objected to it.. anyway, it's purple-blue-white in colour.. but i bought it more for the purple though!!! but due to the lousy lighting, it looked more like blue.. humph!!! and to tie in with today's weather, i shall name it, SUNSHINE... i know that it's really bimbotic and out of point but i bought it to spoil myself too...

went back down to school to get some stuff clarified up.. realised how impulsive i am man!! how dynamic i am as well.. not that it's a good or bad thing but just how crazy i am to just jump right into things, especially at the spur of the moment.. hmm, not sure if i'm making sense here.. the best part of today's visit was that chem eng dept sent me on a road trip to iro, by telling me that it has moved to the new university hall block, while it's actually still located in the old block!!! great!!! wasted some time travelling back to the old uni hall.. sheesh!!! but then, so happened to see the new rag comm 'practising' the laying out of canvas on the track.. it's like so long ago when we did that.. sheesh!!! to think that the exact same thing will be happening again in a few weeks time..

anyway, talking to the right people always get things done.. slow it may be but better than nothing done.. speaking of which, have to try and get used to the speed and the way the germans get things done.. some friends are still hopping mad over waiting.. but chills man!! try kampong and everything else is relative.. but of course, not all things can afford the wait as well.. sheesh!! contradicting myself.. *faints*

great day though.. felt really irresponsible and reckless to just throw everything aside and run off.. but then again, my brain still somehow can't leave work behind.. suddenly enjoy the feeling of just stoning and just slacking... insufficient rest to make me feel recharged but sufficient to last me through at least some time to come..

school is starting soon.. my going-out company will definitely decrease greatly coz all the guys are starting uni and the girls will be resuming school too.. humph!! gonna miss my class, LT5, E5-03-21, arts faculty, macs.. both breakfast, lunch and dinner.. central library, engin bridge, crazy enough but both engin canteen and dept office.. think i shall take time off some other time and go visit my class again!! hmm.. pending..

point of no return..

was thinking of how to title my post and so here it is.. quoting and unquoting my friend's comment.. sounds like phantom of the opera as well.. but there's no underground hideway, no river, no mist, no boat and no music...

well, perhaps more true than not, as of today, i've crossed the point of no return.. i've just been made 1610 bucks poorer but of course, spending future money but where's the money coming from?? i have absolutely no idea except that i did not rob, steal or plunder...

wrote my fair shares of emails for the past few nights and got some replies.. mixed emotions with respect to the replies that i've gotten.. not sure on what to do about them.. just that it brought me back to the point, whether if i should still cling on to whatever hope that is still out there... in many ways, it's as good as trying to capture the wind and keep it in a bag... part of what i've been hoping for to happen has kind of taken place.. well, i should be contented but yet, i'm still clinging on, hoping that something else will occur, especially to my favour.. oh Lord, teach me to be contented or do i not even want to be?

on a lighter note, i ruled the office with angeline in the evening.. gonna miss her when she leaves next friday.. all those hours spent in front of the computer editing and tallying figures and all the take-out sessions from arcade/ caltex house/ 24-hour/ philip street.. and definitely all those times of almost killing each other..

hmm, and i caught a familiar ring tone this morning on my way to work.. the same ring tone which i thought was a transmission back from the forest over the walkie-talkie.. sheesh!! and guess what, an email came in from abang franky this evening!!! oh man!!! so great to hear from him... both he and abang taku will be flying in to nias in a few days time.. man, i miss them loads too.. but ibu saya and abang devin will be flying into singapore in a few days time too!! woohoo!! all that's missing is uncle bernard, who is enjoying himself in LA now... *laughs*...

oh, kelvin called this afternoon and i promised to go back and help with score tabulation on rag day.. hmm.. oh gosh, what have i gotten myself into again!! well, at least, there's the seat near the vip area.. *crossing my fingers*.. i miss rag but guess it's more of the company that i miss..

oh oh!!! here's more about seeker's service.. we're gonna have heart-shaped cookies!!! aunty ammie and company are gonna be involved in the baking but sigh, i can't bake for peanuts.. don't want the kitchen/ pantry to end up in smoke... and we are gonna have fudge express too!!! cool isn't it!!!??? it's like a befriender's cafe... but it's gonna be so cool coz it's over desserts and coffee over any topic.. hmm, shall pop by the dry-run this sunday!!! so excited for the next seeker's service: HOPELESS ROMANTICS!!!

this photo was taken approximately 2 weeks ago from the balcony.. one of the few days when i'm home early!!! woohoo!! feeling a little déjà vu whenever i see this photo... kinds of remind me of that which i saw approximately a year ago, except that it was in another land... well, gonna embark and proceed to that land in less than 3 months but.. hmm..

spent the whole of today zooming from place to place.. from chinatown to bukit timah to orchard then home.. went down with eufo to settle our air tickets.. loads of complications and trouble.. sheesh!! suddenly sep looked like such a turn-off.. but the visit to marks and spenser totally brightened up my day!! oh man, had a shopping spree with florence at the branch down at wheelock place.. helped her to shop for this $80-hamper for some quiz in her school.. goodness!!! i want to be her students too!!! man, think about this: getting marks and spenser's foodies as a prize!!! sheesh!!! I WANT THAT TOO!!! how come we didn't get that sort of thing back in school days????

oh yah, the new harry potter book has just been released this morning at 7.01am.. and borders was having 30% off all paperbacks.. but the catch was that a harry potter book has to be first purchased!! sheesh!! made me happy for that split second!! duh!!! walked around staring at lonely planets but there was no books on germany.. then the paperchase section and i say, i'm gonna go buy more of them from uk.. then florence's favourite section: cooking!! man, i still am more likely to burn the whole house down..

dinner was at swensen's and there was this oldies cd playing in the restaurant.. man, i love the songs!! sheesh, sudden crave for these songs but i'm contented with what i have on my playlist.. =)

12/07/2005

for once, i need not wake up at the unearthly hour of 730am although some of my friends have to wake up much earlier.. slept till 830 before dragging myself off the bed.. had so much 'fun' searching for the german embassy this morning, only to realise that it's opposite where i'm working at.. wendy was like, DIAO!!! but nothing was settled coz i didn't have anything with me to begin with.. and as usual, the germans are well-known for functioning only for few hours and thus office hours are from 9am till 12nn.. so exciting!! imagine the amazing race!!

met yunling for dinner this evening.. so much rubbish and stories to talk and tell about and much shopping to be done but just that both of us are running low on cash.. man, miss her much and had so much fun catching up with her today.. and realised that both of us are mango freaks.. *laughs*.. she showed me her photography works too, which are for her school assignment.. cool!!! keep it up.. hopefully will get to meet up with her before i fly off again..

in need of a sabbath..

never felt so strongly that i really need a sabbath till the week that has just gone by.. finally appreciate what it means to take a sabbath and what sabbath truly is.. man, i really miss the times when we took sabbaths, literally everyday.. sheesh, i miss those days..

spent the afternoon with the crowd at the great singapore sale.. mango and zara literally had clean-out stores, especially zara.. personally, i have a greater affinity for zara than mango but i own more stuff from mango than zara coz of the great difference in prices.. picked up a jacket from mango, which is gonna accompany me through fall.. and actually the only stuff which i really love from my shopping trip today, though it's unfortunately pink again.. other stuffs were either out of stock or had inconvenient washing instructions.. oh wells..

in many ways, need a break desperately.. i need the sun, the sand and the sea, minus all the tankers and oil containers stationed at pulau bukom.. and my sanity as well..

suddenly, i want to fly away again..

a bout of déjà vu

haven't been back to nus for a little more than 2 months.. dropped by yesterday to go spy on the pageant dance rehearsal but actually more to drop by eusoff hall to check on the union camp people.. but guess what?? i called a tat too late and salt told me that they were leaving for dinner already.. i miss meiyan, salt, huiying, kelvin tang, faith, luyee and all those rag people.. oh man, to my rag comm people, you won't believe who i saw on the bus today.. i met one of our 4 heavenly kings but specifically, the one from kent ridge.. and he's still helping out with rag back in hall!! oh sheesh.. to think that rag is now an affair dated a year ago..

on my way home this evening, had the privilege of the window seat on the bus and had the wonders of the evening sun shining down on me... accompanied by chayanne's yo te amo.. it totally brought back the exact feelings dated a year ago as well.. in many ways, i'm looking forward to experiencing it all over again and fly away.. yet i feel as though my wings have been clipped.. the sun on one's back, the wind in one's face.. perhaps even running down the streets late in the night, with cold air rushing into one's lungs..

went for renaissance at sji this evening.. as usual, without fail, any school event will end with the school song.. and then, there will be school cheers and whatever else.. reminded me of the days back in ac.. orientation, sports' season, june camp and so on.. can still remember how alvin and leonard actually banned me from teaching cheers during orientation coz i have already lost my voice but how could you do that to a councillor?? it felt so familiar, yet so foreign when i heard the sji boys cheering.. can't remember the cheers anymore, but if you leave me with everyone else on the rugby field at police academy, perhaps everything will come back..

if there's anything i realised about myself.. i learnt that i cling on to memories really tightly, whether they are beautiful or ugly.. so much for professing about moving on and telling others to not let the past kill them..

irony of the day: i have loads of rough paper with me.. at work, they are the misprinted copies of portia and journals.. at home, they are the misprinted copies of readings, lab reports and even pdc assignments.. sheesh!!! can't remember which faculty i'm from any more..

gempa..

Magnitude 6.7 - NIAS REGION, INDONESIA
2005 July 5 08:52:04 (nias time)

what a subject to blog about, pretty much a taboo for me still.. feeling quite spaced out now, don't ask me why coz i can't explain it too... so much for getting used to it, guess i really did not get used to it at all... even back home in the land of comfort, every jottling of my table will sent me on any alert to get ready to run out of the building.. this will definitely work better than having a fire evacuation drill..

ndp rehearsal 05

stupid ndp rehearsal!!! never have i ever had anything against ndp but now i do.. coz when it's the rehearsal, all traffic around the entire area comes to a standstill.. roads are closed everywhere, all the way from nicoll highway to st. andrew's road.. sheesh!!! but why am i so negative about it?? coz the buses do not come and do not stop at the stops which i want to alight at!! i had to walk all the way to lau pa sat to get a bus home!!! humph!!!

met amelia for lunch at suntec city and due to the closing of the roads, i was stuck in the middle of nowhere.. literally!!! neither in raffles city nor at city hall.. and with a terrible crowd that strolls around.. sheesh, i wished i had wings and could fly!!! otherwise, i'll have to learn the art of zooming really fast in the crowd.. man, that's an art!!!

anyways, if there's anything i really do like about raffles city area, it's singapore river.. i know how unnatural the river is and how concrete it looks but hey, i love it for its peace and quietness especially in the evening, when the crowd is gone.. man, just watching the sun shining on it and the water reflecting the light.. can't explain it but i just love it..

oh oh, sehr spannend!!! if i'm not wrong, the team that is representing madrid at the ioc on monday is actually staying at fullerton hotel!! spannend!!! and then, there's a sudden flood of caucasians on the streets..

quoting mr. designer, ".....when I took my nightly walks in the streets of the city. At 9pm the city comes to a standstill. The streets are almost empty, and the cool breezy wind made the strolls fairly pleasurable. Just me and my discman against the world. Trust me, after having spent the entire day with the family I needed some downtime. Alone..."

hmm.. looking forward to the day when i can do this once again..