christmas time, oh christmas time..

hmm... there's no lectures from 24th dezember till 8th january.. that's what they call the 'christmas break'.. paloma left early this morning to fly back to spain.. radek is leaving tomorrow evening by bus back to poland.. and jerome is leaving tomorrow evening too, by bus back to paris..

me?? i'm leaving this evening for london.. i'm not swimming there nor taking a bus but flying by ryanair.. budget airline.. the exact airline which i took to stockholm.. but i'll be the first one back home here amongst the 4 of us..

been neglecting my blog lately.. the post on stockholm is still not up, but the photos are.. so go take a look if you are bored.. last weekend, keve and shengrong came down to visit too.. me so busy!!! so many activities!! *laughs*.. school is driving me nuts, as it always does.. just in a different continent and different country.. and leaving it all behind, while traveling to london and paris, makes me a heck too guilty and worried too.. okay, shall psycho myself to leave everything in hamburg.. *bleah*..

gotta run now.. catch ya all when i'm back... and i'll try and blog about all those things yeah?? stockholm.. keve's & shengrong's visit.. london.. paris..

oh, fröhliche weihnachten!!

how do you know that you have fried your brains??

when there is actually a door handle, aiding in the process of opening the door.. but all you did was just to keep pushing the door, wondering why doesn't the door open, though there is a sticker on the door that says: drucken.. until someone came along and turned the door handle...

fattening day!!

hey folks.. it's been almost a week since i got back from stockholm.. gonna blog about it soon but still taking the time to organise my photos a little, before posting them here..

anyway, eufo and me titled today: FATTENING DAY... something which we will be doing from time to time.. why so? to justify it all, it's coz we completed one lab report today!!! well, there's one more to go.. but that can take its own time..

it all started with nuermburger wuerstchen und pomme frites.. then we ran out of mayonaise, so off to marktkauf we went.. man, i bought so much stuff.. schokoladen, saft, snickers bars.. this is to prevent me from losing too much money to nit every wednesday afternoon.. and of course, we bought the mayonaise and ice cream too!! so we had more pomme frites.. but now with ice cream & mayonaise.. oh, for once, i found nice strawberry ice cream.. yum.. and did i mention that we had 'free' kinder bueno and other chocolates too??

wondering why am i still online at this morning? there was a mini christmas gathering at the wohnheimbar at ebelingsstrasse, where there were more food: lebkuchen, orangen, schokoladen, gluehwein, marzipan kugels, walnuts and a lot more things... yummy!! it all tasted so good... now understand why it's called 'fattening day'??

quite exciting though.. ppl sit around, catching up a little.. dancing and swaying to music, good dancable music.. so much food to eat.. table soccer to play... whatever it is, it's always the company that makes a difference..

i'm tired.. more lab report tomorrow.. and more fats to be added.. =P

unfall im weihnachtsmarkt..

both eufo and me deemed this as blog-worthy so here it goes..

both of us decided to go down to hamburg central after having not been to hamburg central for more than 2 weeks.. yupz, believe it or not, we have not been to hamburg central for more than 2 weeks.. see.. it was berlin, then köln, then it was lab-report week.. so yeah, we finally went to central today!!!

well, our main purpose was to visit the hamburger weihnachtsmarkt at rathausplatz.. but we were there too late so didn't get to see much.. but anyways, it was pretty much an adventure too..

weihnachtsmarkt started at moenckebergstrasse and went all the way to rathausplatz.. so much bratwurst, champignons, gluhwein, geschenken.. wow.. we called this, the high-class version of pasam-malam.. coz the stuffs are actually quite expensive.. well, finally made our way down to rathausplatz and boy, it was full of ppl.. yeah, on a tuesday evening.. can't imagine a saturday evening though.. anyway, the rathaus was opened due to some private event so we decided to go in and take a look, considering that the previous time we were at the rathaus, it was closed..

pretty cool to see a christmas tree in there.. and as usual, we were too engrossed in taking photos.. and then, there appeared this group of 4 guys in front of the christmas tree and asked for their photo to be taken.. and i did that.. but see, they were kinda drunk so one suddenly grabbed me on the legs and yes, i fell.. quite traumatised coz if he doesn't let go, i'm stuck there.. but after that, he was quite apologetic.. oh wells.. the effects of alcohol.. quite a funny bunch coz they wanted us to join them for a gluhwein session but nope, not when we have school tomorrow.. so that's the 'unfall im weihnachtsmarkt'..

continued walking around and saw so many wonderfully cute and beautiful christmas decor items.. you know i melt at the sight of decor items so yeah.. cheapo method?? take photos.. yupz, went passed this bakery and bought ourselves more food.. i got a rum-kugel and eufo got a sprit-kuchen.. the rum-kugel is really sinful and awesome but it fills you really quick too.. so super bloated now..

left about 9pm coz everything closes then.. hmm, must go back there again.. this time round, earlier so that can hang out longer.. =P

what to type here..

hmm.. getting really unmotivated to blog.. even if i had and have the time, i just don't seem to want to blog anymore.. perhaps coz it's all the ranting and whining.. time to get out of them all..

if there's anything i wanna whine now, i wanna whine abt school.. hmm.. studienarbeit.. not one but two!! spannend.. dateline?? by end of january.. including of one report and one presentation, subjected to question & answer from the floor.. and not to mention that i'm in the world of a headless chicken.. so yeah, so exciting.. and i just found out that all my old friends are no longer useful.. must start to shelf all of them.. they are namely, nusselt, prandtl, schmidt, stanton and everyone else.. hicks..

one big accomplishment of the week? eufo and me whacked a lab report for the whole of saturday and viola!! everything's done.. including modification of results.. actually she did that.. not to mention that we smoked our way through it as well.. =)

exams ending in singapore.. not that it bothers me.. just feel a little weird, coz usually this time, will be planning for 'what to do this coming holidays'.. hmm.. oh wells, waiting for the wedding photos to come in too.. and i just received yet another invitation for yet another wedding which i will be missing too.. but uncle bernard, make sure you include me for your celebrations back in singapore yah!! it will be so great to see debbie.. *laughs*..


winter wonderland.. not exactly, that's the state which my uni was in on sat morning.. friday was snowing like crazy!!!

köln.. cologne.. köln..

and so it was.. getting more unmotivated to update my blog and all.. but anyways, i went down to köln and back.. no cologne water though.. just didn't bother much with shopping.. was satisfied with just the company alone..

anyway, started the whole trip with a 757am train on friday morning to köln from harburg.. passing pastures of white due to snow.. and did i mention that it snowed for 0.5 hour last tuesday afternoon?? yeah, thank God that there's no need for an umsteigen.. finally got to köln hauptbahnhof at 1157am.. jawohl, 4 hours worth of journey.. liangzhu left on another train to aachen, while eufo and me decided to take a walk ard town.. really interesting city.. resembling too much of that of orchard road.. esp. the shopping area.. a little like the small streets of freiburg, minus the crowd..

met azman, raymond and samantha.. made our way down to the youth hostel, djh.. finally got rid of my bag and we went back to walk ard town.. went to the dom.. (seems like the typical thing which i will do at almost every place.. blame thomas!!).. but guessed what? in my attempt to take a photo, i burnt my own jacket.. yeah, the polyester melted due to the heat from the candle.. spannend!! man, tot i could save on shopping but nope, had to buy a new jacket on the spot.. boo.. and then, the schokolademuseum just had to close early on friday evening.. oh wells.. but this was pretty exciting.. sam bought a piece of chilli chocolate and after partaking it, we had to neutralise it with azman's marzipan..

friday ended with the arrival of folks from all over the place.. from kassel, dresden, leipzig, esslingen, karlsruhe, stuttgart, aachen, muechen, konstanz & köln.. the evening ended with a party, which ended up as a catch-up session for singaporeans.. jason, who looked too much like mok, was fiddling ard with his pirated dj turn-table.. there's too many ppl who resemble others one way or another.. too many friends who are friends of other friends.. man, talk abt frienster-ing again..

saturday started off with the climb of the kölner dom.. yes, thanks to thomas.. eufo and me just went all the way up.. man, but it's really really steep.. mel was wondering, why in the world did we go up that fast.. erm, blame thomas!! *laughs*.. too much vandalism but i won't complain when you get to see your own country being part of the vandalism.. even 'jurong west' appeared!! we were so tempted to draw the whole mrt line there.. and i honestly confess that i've not done that much exercise as compared to saturday.. after the dom, we made our way down to königswinter for a hike.. never fail to remind me of feldberg.. hmm.. last year, we went all the way up to feldberg to look at a pillar.. this year, we went all the way up to see the last wall standing of the schloss.. *round of applause*.. we went back to köln at about 4 plus in the afternoon.. it was followed by a free-and-easy session.. which conveniently ended up as a shopping trip in disguise.. nothing was bought though but rong jia, eufo & me ended up in nordsee, talking rubbish and eating.. the evening ended with part of the group leaving to pub, while the rest of us played charades.. man, it was a bucket full of laughter.. i never knew that 'pride and prejudice' is guised in the form of 'sir stamford raffles'.. and 'the statue of liberty' looks like a pose from that of manhunt contest.. well, and many more.. keve's personification of a lizard was nothing like a lizard.. man, who can forget william and his lizard act during a session of guesstures at youth camp many years ago..

sunday came and went with edb flying into germany.. lunch was great, well, at least i thought so.. left for the hauptbahnhof at about 5pm to take our 545pm train back to harburg.. and i nearly fainted when i learnt the karlsruhe party got home at about 9 plus..

all in all, despite having not seen much of köln, this has been a much better trip than berlin.. perhaps it's the company.. perhaps it's the city itself.. i don't know.. but it definitely was an excuse to enjoy the weekend and catch up with friends.. well, at least for me, it was an excuse to meet up with samuel & rong jia.. hmm, those of us who braved through 4 semesters of german language and now, here at last.. but we are missing on chengho, wengkeong, yuhan & kaiqing.. oh wells.. and it's also an opportunity for me to sprout max. amt of english, chinese, hokkien, singlish..

so till singapore, then shall we all meet again..

i love clean, clean room..

and i cleaned my room today.. tomorrow is laundry day.. i love the smell of washing powder.. what a way to spend my weekend..

went shopping on saturday.. how exciting can i get.. i mean, that's a girl's favourite past-time.. bought another top.. hmm, think someone should stop me from shopping.. was at chengyi's place for dinner and for sleepover.. as usual, was coughing that badly.. i really wonder what's wrong with me.. so i've decided to silent the crowd once and for all, i'm gonna go see the doctor tomorrow.. watched red eye.. not a really that great movie.. the movie just accelerated all the way.. boo.. as usual, no studying done.. great!!

oh, and so i heard, dragostea din tei is the newfound craze in singapore.. *laughs*.. i'm so ahead of time.. =P

effort is..

waking up at 630am on a sunday morning, to join the crowd at the fischmarkt...


waking up at 7am on a wednesday morning, just to run down to landungsbruecke and watch queen mary 2 docking at the hamburg hafen..

berlin.. berlin..

not doing any work tonight.. then again, when have i ever done work since i started sep??

i finally went away from hamburg.. looking forward really much to the trip to berlin but it's unfortunately not as great as i expected it to be.. maybe coz it's too short?? maybe coz there's too much that i wanna see but there's no time or coz i dunno how to get there?? maybe coz i spent too much time in the museums?? maybe like what rongjia said, coz i'm simply not a history student?? too many maybes..

left for berlin on friday at 845 am.. nice train ride but didn't fall asleep, as a result, i fell asleep in the bus during the city tour, only to wake up just in time to catch the remains of the berlin wall.. the city tour was crap.. it was as good as a 'touch-and-go' session.. and finally when we got to photo-worthy places, the sun has already set.. i'm so motivated for the trip.. boo.. spent 2 hours in the berlin wall museum at checkpoint charlie.. goodness!!

saturday was spent in museums as well.. the deutsche filmmuseum and the pergemon museum.. well, if you are into film history and greek mythology, they would appeal to you as well.. but dinner was good.. had mushrooms with baked potatoes and turkey!! schmeckt sehr gut.. lecker!! und tomatensuppe auch.. yummy!! as usual, the rest of the group went partying and the finnish guys are the best of the lot.. they went till it's so late, they skipped much of the tour to sleep in..

the last stop was the judische museum on sunday morning.. man, it was huge but i wished that it was the holocaust museum instead.. guessed that will interest me much more.. anyway, with a museum too huge and too little time, as usual, we didn't finish the museum.. it was then 1215pm.. in the name of not missing the train, we were at the hauptbahnhof by 1245 though our train was at 1345.. so exciting right?? there's nothing much at the hauptbahnhof area..

so yeah, that's the end of my trip.. if there's anything to comfort me, i bought a piece of the berlin wall, hoping that it's authentic.. and a shot glass, which has a huge crack, but i love shot glasses, so no comments allowed.. man, i'm gonna have a big problem bringing everything home.. too much glass and too many rocks..

think i caught a bug on the train back from berlin.. coz i'm coughing like nobody's business now.. hmm.. but no biggies.. if anything, i'm insured by 55 euros/month + 10 euros/3 months.. dumm!!

hmm.. wondering what to do this weekend.. studies seems to be the last thing on my mind.. oh no, i need a brainwashing session to wake myself up and study.. =P

musing away..

hmm.. got into a really off-tangent state few days ago.. chills, i'm not pms-ing, neither is school getting to me.. but it's just one of those days whereby you just feel like this.. apologies to those of you who were talking to me then.. really really off tangent.. but 2 sweet darlings (in a way) got me out of the state and despite the weather being so cold here.. both of them warmed my heart a lot.. really!! and i really miss them loads..



one has always been a wonderful sunshine and a really sweet monkey.. who's going down under soon for holidays!! enjoy yourself k?? take all the photos and show me yah!!! missing you all back home.. and so happy that you did well for your promos.. strive hard and study hard yah!! talk more with ya when you are online..

the other.. there's so much i wanna tell her but it's not coming out here.. lost for words and i rather just tell it straight to her as well.. but you know what dearie? you really warmed my heart that night.. i'm really really glad to hear and talk to you.. and i really wished that i could give you a big bear hug, rather than that small tiny icon from msn.. come, let me try and give you a big bear hug from here!! *HUGZ*.. really miss ya loads and miss seeing ya too.. write more to you after your exams.. =D

anyways, i've been here for a month!!! school has gone underway as well.. man, i'm still not motivated.. and believe it, i'm continuing with german here.. yeah!! 5th semester of german language.. man, if i don't improve after this, odd to whack myself in the head.. but otherwise, everything is still functioning really slowly.. i need to read more and read faster but when they are in german, i spent 2 hours on one paragraph, using a lousy online-translator.. i wanna faint man!!

last saturday was a trip to bremen.. quite an unplanned adventure.. siang fung lost her wallet so we went bremen twice in one day.. the fundbuero just contacted her that they have found her wallet but it's such a hassle to get it back.. but yeah, more planning to do to get her wallet back from bremen.. hopefully it gets done before this friday.. oh yah, i've just uploaded the photos for my 1st mth here.. go check them out..

it's been a long long journey and i just want things to settle into place.. daylight saving hour is over so germany is now 7 hours behind singapore.. just finished my bananas & grapes, so i'm back to apples again.. will be off to berlin on friday with the uni.. so exciting right? the international office organised this trip and it starts on a friday so that means that, if anyone has classes on friday, they will be legitimate to skip classes!! woohoo!! so exciting.. as good as encouraging one to skip class.. so should i do that??

musing away.. till next time then.. take care everyone!!

it's 2.15am.. but..

it's 2.15am now.. and i know that i should be sleeping but i just wanna jot down my tots for today.. otherwise, known as friday.. it's been a long long day.. bits and pieces of my brain..

went down to studentenwerk early.. could feel my heart cringing at the tot of the payment but honestly, after paying up and receiving the receipt, somehow, i felt a great sense of relief.. felt as though some heavy load was lifted off my shoulders.. hmm, couldn't help but feel the sense of 'starting anew'..

was feeling a little sad for the past few days coz my parents' mic on their side is somehow not working so msn chat became a one-way thing.. with me talking to the computer, yet without audio replies.. think my dad bought 2 mics, including a webcam!! bumper.. i even installed skype to try and talk to them.. but suddenly, it worked!! man, i was so excited!!! guess like nitya said.. as much as we try to be independent, when things go wrong, you just wanna run home and talk to mummy.. not that anything went wrong but just wanna talk to my mum.. like eufo said, we got addicted talking to our mothers..

and then radek came knocking on my door, halfway through my conversation.. i was like, huh?? what happened?? i confessed.. i was half listening to what he was saying and honestly, i had no idea what he said and then..



he passed me this box!!! i was like some little kid, over the moon!! man, i've been waiting for this since the day my parents sent it.. well, only monday but still!! whee!! can't stop smiling for the rest of the evening.. more photos of its contents will come tomorrow or so.. *beams*..

is daylight saving hour starting soon?? *puzzled*

moving on..

and she was really nice about it.. and she went, i'm really sorry that something like this has to happen to you but you really got one of the best rooms around.. really hope that you will enjoy your exchange experience from now on.. to say that i'm feeling really bitter, i guess i've gotten over it.. well, i just hope that everything picks up from here..

so moving on.. man, what do girls do best? SHOPPING!! jawohl!! went altona shopping on saturday.. man, it's so tempting to splurge all my money in zara.. *faints*.. i absolutely love zara.. but nope, we stayed true to our aim of window shopping.. but.. but i bought something for my room!! to decorate it.. i'm so proud of it.. small and a little ex but hey man, i wanna pamper myself too!! that's super bimbotic!! *puke*.. when i get ard getting a shot of it, it will be here for all to see..

dinner was at eufo's.. had our leftover wantons from the night before.. and yes, i learnt to make wantons man!! woohoo!! no one got food poisoning so chills!! and we watched 'save the last dance' aber auf deutsch.. deshalb verstehen wir nicht.. aber es ist sehr gut.. liebe es gerne..

sunday was a unplanned 'disaster'.. you won't believe what did we do.. we went down to blankenese!! it was awesome but it was really funny how we even ended up at where we wanna go.. i mean, we got on the wrong bus and went on a joy ride.. then the right bus ended us up in goodness-knows-where.. but we exercised our way all the way down to the beach.. *faints*... we were at the coast of the elbe river.. cool man.. to think that we didn't even know how to get there.. but it was great.. man, i wish that it was summer instead.. great sea, great sand, great beach.. all that's missing was the sun and the warmth!! crap!!

dinner was at eufo's again.. cooked that fish which i kinda forgotten about.. man, i just throw everything and start cooking.. learnt that i have to add oil to my rice to prevent it from burning.. and we watched 'sweet home alabama'.. there's 'minority report' on tv next week..

school started today.. and man, it was horrible.. i really believe that my brain has corroded.. aber niemand zu hause muss wissen, dass meine faecher hier einfacher als zu hause sind.. but i'm just so worried now.. matlab was a complete no comprendo.. stressed!! i want to play with simulink.. paloma was saying how much she hates matlab too and similarly, though we don't understand the logic behind simulink, we love it better.. leider gibt es kein simulink.. *bleah*.. have to read up on joule-thompson effect.. oh crap!! it's only the first day..



here's a picture of my school for the next 5 months.. this was nicely taken on a sunny day.. it's been raining for the past few days!! =( here's one of the many memorable buildings.. anyway, welcome to Technische Universitaet Hamburg-Harburg..

stuffing myself with gummibaerchen.. growing fat..

...

ich habe gesagt, dass ich nur ueber Gluecklichkeit schreiben werde.. aber vielleicht ist die ganze Zeit nicht so gut.. vielleicht habe ich Sorgen fuer nichts.. ich weiss nicht.. ich bin sehr sehr muede.. manchmal moechte ich alles vergessen und alles aufgeben aber ich werde nicht machen.. alles wird schliesslich in Ordnung sein aber ich will Ihnen in alles sehen.. sowieso ist das alles..

anyways, had a mail from US.. got me excited all over and i really thank God for sally!! she's always faithfully keeping me in prayers and all.. missing her loads.. and another from singapore too!! my travel-bug buddy, who has unfortunately gone back to singapore.. man, i wish that she was here.. it will be wonderful and all.. missing you loads!! phone calls.. nice to hear ppl from home and all.. but like i told justin, i must learn to grow up.. can't be a kid anymore.. =P

caught the travelling bug and guess my 1st proper trip may be a really expensive one.. to the place where olympics 2012 will be held.. man, i wished that paris had won.. oh wells.. trying to finalise details and hopefully can buy my ticket soon.. i need and i want to travel!! =)

anyways, here's to one of my best babes, whose birthday i cannot attend coz i'm 17-hours away by plane.. thanks for everything for the past 2 years.. it's been a great and wonderful 2 years and hopefully many more to come.. hope that you have a really wonderful time today and show me all the photos of all that i've missed.. missing you dearly and was great talking to you the other day.. crap, realised that i do not have a proper photo of the both of us in my notebook.. the only one that i have, has jerry lui's finger in there too.. spoil our photo.. take a nice one during your party and i will post it up!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

mr. designer is gonna call me 'zi lian kuang' again.. but who cares!! i'm really proud of this wonderful piece of work.. it's supposed to be my farewell present but it came 2 weeks later.. as a really wonderful surprise.. and a touch of home.. and i'm so proud of announcing it here.. thanks babe!! and i'm gonna announce it to the whole world.. muakz!! i miss you all so much!!

wonderful weekend.. burning chocolate.. eating eis in the cold.. stood in the cold for about 45 minutes just to watch some lightshow at the alster lake.. 2nd visit to the fischmarkt and i realised that everytime i go to the fischmarkt, i'll definitely end up waiting for ppl.. humph!! well, ppl wait for me too so no complaindo..

gave my room a big clean-up today.. not as clean as that back home.. but passable since i'm not that tall and can't reach much corners.. did laundry which is way too expensive.. and embarrassing enough, my friend had to teach me how to use the washing machine & the dryer.. i hate the dryer and i suspect that it hates me too.. took too long to dry and yet not everything's dried.. crap, waste my money and i suspect that it shrank my giodarno t-shirt too.. crap, my favourite t-shirt..

weather's getting colder yet each day i'll get by..

murphy fell for me..

yeah.. and he fell real hard.. man, i wished that he didn't coz it's an ultimate disaster.. went thru a horrible period this week and man, it made me wonder too much.. so much that i just wanna throw in the towel and walk away.. but i'm still here..

the moon's getting rounder and rounder each night as i look at it.. then i realised that i've been here for almost 15 days.. time flies.. much more to learn before the road eventually reaches a straight smooth portion.. but can that learning be buffered??

on a side note, i went down to the school bibliothek this morning, while waiting for the sprechzeit of the students' affairs office.. guess what? it was so nostalgic!!! i saw.. introduction to chemical engineering theromodynamics... chemical reaction engineering.. perry's handbook, what benny and me deemed as 'nur fuer schlafen'.. equilibrium stage separation.. and finally, who can ever forget this book: wwwr - the fundamentals of heat, mass & momentum transfer?? man, a walk down the memory lane of the past 4 semesters in chem eng.. and now in the world of verfahrenstechnik (VT)..

hey everyone, here's me, alive & kicking.. shopping trip didn't happen =( but oh wells.. have homework for deutschkurs due but i'm still online.. here's the harbour at landungsbruecke, hamburg.. tschus!!

Gruss aus Hamburg

it has been a more than eventful week and a heck of an emotional roller coaster ride.. there's so much that i want to say here but i just don't know how to start.. just felt that through it all, He's trying to teach me all about acceptance and adaptation.. and that in my weakness, His strength is made perfect.. hicks..

anyways, if you all still dunno, i'm now in Harburg, a little part of the big Hamburg city.. where the weather, by His grace, is still pretty acceptable.. but it's gonna turn horrible soon.. my fellow singapore lives a little too far away from me, so i'm occassionally quiet, since there's no one to entertain me.. made friends with ppl from all over the place.. i even have a shopping trip this sat with an indian gal!! of course, there's those who are really unfriendly.. anyway!! my apartment is really international!! i'm staying with a french guy who lives in paris but studies somewhere else in france.. a polish guy who's really nice and speaks really awesome german.. a spanish girl who's studying chemical engineering as well.. jawohl!! 3 cheers to MATLAB.. and the both of us nearly died at that!! the funniest thing is that, all of us are engineering students!! goodness!!

earth to the germans.. despite having been here for a week, i just got my resident's permit and just signed the lease contract.. talk about efficiency!! es gibt kein!! why is everything so slow? i dunch know.. coz i arrived on a sat?? coz monday was a national holiday?? coz the uni did not update the information deseminated to us, so we missed one working day? so much more admin stuff to settle but it seems as though i can only get half of each job done each time.. and yes, finally i have my internet connection.. the whole house is going crazy over internet connection.. the germans work about less than 8 hours each day and if you are wondering what do they do with the rest of their time? i have no idea, perhaps to drink beer, to walk around in the park or whatever else.. goodness!!

yeah, much to say but don't know how to say it all.. perhaps, my friend's right about this, that once you hit rock bottom, things can only pick up from there and get better.. i hope so as well and i want it to happen too.. and if He allows it as well.. anyways, i'm gonna get my german line soon so.. you all can entertain me from home coz it's free incoming!! WOOHOO!! yeah, will tell you all soon when i get my number, so you all can call me!! bwaahhaha.. okay, till then!!

packing.. packing, packing.. still packing..

okay folks, my turn to leave now.. don't chase me away, i'll just leave on my own.. tough to pack some part of your life over to another part of the world but chills.. all will be well.. crap, still packing..

okay, BYE!!!

updates!!

been a long long week and finally it's over.. dinner appts, surprises, so many cakes & candles.. great lunches that left me too full to shift my weight around.. this was supposed to be a reflective post for entering adulthood.. but who cares..

it just felt like any other day.. except that when you sit yourself down and do some thinking, you will realise that at 21, a little more responsibilities are added upon your shoulder.. you have to start having a more detailed plan of what your future may be.. and perhaps, start saving up for whatever the future may hold, regardless if you work or not.. well, there's definitely more to just that.. let me think about it and then get back here yah?

cherie had her 21st birthday party on friday and i was late.. humpH!! stupid reasons.. much be-early for her but hope that you have enjoyed yourself gal!! thanks for the present, gonna pack it into my backpack and off to germany, it will go..



it was haofang's & manquan's wedding yesterday afternoon.. and half the church rushed from orchard road to make it for the wedding coz of lccs flag day!! here and there throughout the wedding coz was usher for it.. but i still caught the vows.. love the part whereby the couple says their vows.. =P

went back to clear work today.. yupz, i'm finally done with work.. great experience with great people.. yeah, joke of the year: i'm taking financial accounting in german.. roger was like, that's it man!! can still remember guatleng's comment: might as well change to accounting course.. erm!! oh wells, gonna miss all the girlfriends' outings, the visits to remittances, killiney kopitiam, bugging anthony to watch korean serials, the free vending machine.. all the neighbours like 'xing ge', irene, 'luke skywalker'.. the super cold fax room.. newfound neighbours.. and baoli too!! keep in touch yah?? =)

starting to say my goodbyes..

walking in my memory box..

it's been a really packed 3 days.. zooming from one place to another and everywhere.. woohoo!! someone give me a medal for surviving it through.. anyway, long post ahead, so read if you really want to else it's just for me to do book-keeping..

king david musical & kids' church party

oh my goodness, the kids at grace methodist were so cute!!! goodness gracious, in those sheep costume!!! and yes, that little israelite soldier.. and those really really sweet girls dancing.. reminded me of those days back in children tamborine class.. but i've returned everything to wangping & grace.. hmm.. oh wells.. anyway, the musical just totally reminded me of the david sanborn's one-man show of king david as well!! that was a few weeks ago at redeemer..

had kids' church party the next morning.. ie. sunday.. anyway, i was the big kid that never grew up man!! made a tat too much noise.. but this's the last kids' church till i get back next year.. gonna miss all the kids, all those kiddy songs and kiddy dances... the kiddy games and object lessons.. and definitely, today's life story!!! perhaps, it's the chance for me to take my personal rest of children's ministry and go get refreshed and recharged.. in many ways, i felt that i've hit the point of bottleneck.. i need a new influx of ideas and energy.. so till then..

german class gathering..

round of applause for yingchao, for giving up his house to house all of us.. there's greenlamb, ying, 'mummy', weiyao, rongjia, junfu aka john, minghui and a new exchange friend from sweden, emilia!! we learnt that junfu couldn't make his own popiah.. chocolate fondue was great except that it might have well been contaminated with all the satay and whatever else.. anyway, it was really sweet of all of them.. i blew candles yesterday twice.. once was the cake which eunice baked.. and another was with the german class ppl.. thanks loads.. and as typical classic japanese tourists, we were taking photos.. and i ate a tat too much..



my cell group - S.O.C

nope, we are not the school of computing neither are we the standard obstacle course.. we are known as the servants of christ!! anyway, eunice baked me a peach-lemon cake!! isn't that great.. really thankful for the many years of friendship with my cell friends.. we all grew up together.. that's how long we have all known each other.. gonna miss them all..


childhood friends.. we grew up together..


here's with my fellow 'age with grace' cell group leader.. man, jo, here we are on our way to adulthood!! *gasps*..

had dinner with them on monday evening at fisherman's wharf.. and guess who came? lixian & yueping!!! oh man, i haven't seen them for ages.. i'm hoping that yueping will webcast her wedding though.. *laughs*.. great food, great company.. drives all tiredness away.. thanks loads everyone!! =)

taku's in town [version 2.0]

so taku, sampai jumpa lagi.. goodness knows when we will all meet again.. either we fly over to japan some day or we all 'reunite' on nias island some day.. thanks for all the dinners and fun.. many things get lost in translation though.. so as all germans go, auf wiedersehen..

here's the dinner with nenek.. pak long had rc dinner..

LOA.. at last..

well, it's finally sinking in.. and yes, the feeling is finally setting in and suddenly i'm feeling all lost and confused.. seems a little too soon that i'll be gone from singapore as well... so much not done and much more to be planned but before i know it.. whoosh, off i go.. woohoo!!! too fast.. so fast!!!

somehow there's this reluctance to submit LOA, though it would have been a smart move to submit it as early as possible.. as it will spare all the trouble of having to explain to the lecturers and having all those question marks next to my name, making me an international lady of mystery ie. missing in action..

well, let's just say i do the most impulsive thing at the absolutely wrong moment but yeah, i just filed LOA.. so exciting man, blame my dynamic lifestyle.. perhaps i should have done it much earlier.. perhaps i should hold back a little later and do it like next week?? well, whatever it is, what's done, is done..

and so it is..

taku's in town [version 1.0]

it's like reliving all those days back in nias once again.. oh man, i was really happy to see everyone again.. well, almost everyone's here except hweelin and franky.. taku's in town!!! man, haven't seen him for 4 months.. yeah, uncle bernard and devin were jealous of my reaction.. but can't blame the fact that i just saw them a month back!!!

here's taku with shirleen & devin... anyways... yeah, got them to go down to tiong bahru hawker centre for dinner.. we had all sorts of food... goodness!! and for once, the guys were actually full.. *laughs*.. shirleen was late and she came with all my keropok from surabaya.. yummy!!! yeah, please remind me that the oil need not be heated for 15 minutes at maximum fire.. else there goes all my keropok!!! oh oh, taku got us stuff from japan as well... hmm, gonna miss everything.. all the 'lost in translation' and all the crazy jokes... man, devin just had to remind us of the 'flying money' incident.. well, a classic example of 'lost in translation'..

here's uncle bernard.. well, too bad i'm unable to capture that classic smile of his... which only appears after trying many many times to call through the telewaves to china.. and when debbie picks up the call.. woohoo!! how can any of us forget that smile... okay folks.. more updates tomorrow.. especially with more food on the table and more people fellowshipping..

dental visit and a lazy saturday...

i don't like it at all!!! oh man, i thought that i would have overcome it since it has been a while since i went to the dentist.. but nope!!! as i sat on 'the chair' waiting for the dentist to finish helping this granny fix her dentures, i could not help but start freaking out a little... and man, i was really getting scared of the dentist...

couldn't help but recall all those days back in primary and secondary school.. when we would all be dying to avoid visits to the dental clinic for all periods but yet, want so desperately to visit the dentist during pe periods, for the simple reason of skipping pe lessons!!! man, can still remember when the teacher came with those white appointment cards, everyone would go, better not be me man...

i can still remember my first visit to the dentist.. that pink dental chair with 2 nurses at the dental clinic.. there was one who was so unfriendly that all of us would pray real hard that we would not get her.. the other was much nicer and yours truly always got her!! i used to think that all those sounds resulting from the cleaning of the teeth were due to the bacteria and germs screaming coz of the effect of the cleaning chemicals used.. well, but that was when i was in primary 1!!!! but of course, they are due to the machinery and all...

anyways, conclusion made: i still have a big fear of the dentist.. and i don't like pain.. end of story.. =P

hmm.. all my evening plans did not come about but went home to slack after buying my luggage hardware at chinatown.. well, it's huge!! and guess who i met?? saw christopher at his aunt's flower shop!!! well, apparently meiyan was just some distance away at delifrance, meeting a client.. humph!!! i miss seeing meiyan!!! remember muz do dinner soon yah!!!?? back home, i watched so much tv.. from japanese serial to china serial and even to hongkong serial, which is none other than kindred spirit.. yes, i'm that bored.. and then i finally took my saturday afternoon nap session!! haven't done that for a long time..

oh oh, i really really think that the new refrigerator advertisement, but i can't remember which brand, is really really funny.. you have those vegetables jumping around.. starting with a carrot, then a capsucium, then a tomato and finally, a cabbage.. but due to insufficient space, the cabbage kept hitting his head against the roof of the compartment.. well, i really laughed for like donkeys before stopping.. sue me but i think it's funny!!

it's me against the wind..

i love the wind.. of course not that of having wind in the stomach coz that HURTS a lot... anyway, had such a wonderful and pretty strong sea breeze blowing from the direction of one fullerton.. i know that the wind is not always friendly.. more often than not, it's almost always too cold and sometimes, excess exposure results in chills, pain and whatever else.. silly as it sounds but i really want to go to a place, where i can stare at the sea every day.. walk along the coastline and allow the saltwater to make my toes all grandmother-like.. enjoy the sea breeze every moment.. and the solitude that comes along with it.. and so what i do best: stone..

suddenly, i have an urge to go to sentosa again.. but it's now the nationwide school holidays, with too many kids roaming around the streets.. human traffic hazards!!!

hmm... in 23 days time.. i won't get to do the above.. but it's the cold, the quiet moments and the solitude that draw me..

hmm.. great day!!

hmm... it's been a pretty good day.. today's baoli's birthday too!! welcoming her into the world of the 2-something.. but sheesh, i'm going on to one more year ahead..

anyway, set my alarm for 430am so that i could make that one impt phone call to say bye to my brother.. hmm, he figured that i was half-awake though.. boohoO!!! he should still be on the plane now.. canada is like on the other side of the world.. hmm, i'm gonna try and save up after exchange so that i can go tour canada and pay both him and lisa a visit.. missing my brother already..

time kinda inched at work.. and it didn't help that portia was staging a revolution against me.. enjoyed candice's email though... anyway, here goes:
you should put in 100% effort in your work!!!
10% on monday..
20% on tuesday..
40% on wednesday..
25% on thursday..
5% on friday..

baoli went to meet angeline and her clique for dinner, in celebration of her birthday!!! think that she got a really pleasant surprise, courtesy of angeline and company.. *laughs*.. happy birthday gal!! thanks for being such a great girlfriend at work.. man, gonna miss you when i leave.. all the lunch dates and talks, shopping and tea-breaks.. =)

hmm, i was late for the genies' gathering at suntec swensens.. this is because of some horrid jam between raffles place and suntec.. goodness gracious!!! a 5-min bus ride became a 45-min bus ride.. what rubbish man!!! humph!!! been to swensens too often but thank God for the 10% discount with uob cards.. not that i'm trying to promote uob debit/ credit cards.. great time of catching up and taking photos.. me trying to take maximum no. of photos of all my friends and gonna keep them in my notebook.. so as to remember everyone!!! the folks were really sweet.. celebrated huiling & my 21st.. blowing candles way too early and really feeling old about it.. hmm.. gonna miss everyone though.. thanks for all the memories and all the fun.. really appreciate it loads..

surprises, emotions, huh??

it's been a while since everything goes in all direction.. well, even if that has always been the case, maybe i'm just a little too disillusioned to bother about it..

hmm.. didn't get to watch 'charlie and the chocolate factory'.. but watched 'wedding crashers' instead.. silly humour with really colourful language and images.. nc16 seems a little too inappropriate.. should just make it m18, then that may remove those sec. sch kids from the theatre... hmm.. speaking of movies, this is my first movie even since 'star wars episode 3'.. candice was like, where have you been hiding man.. yeah.. 'mr and mrs smith' did not come about and with the death of my old harddisk, i lost the movie as well.. i just want back 'ever after' and 'dead poets' society'.. humph!!

and they remembered.. they remembered my birthday and time even made me card, which resembled too much like that of a christmas card but who cares?? it's enough to send me over the moon and onto cloud 9.. letters are enough to make me more than happy.. but i know, i know about the expectation but only to be disappointed.. i'll gonna make this my last present till next year and it has to be done.. hmm, if you don't understand, just leave me to my own musings yeah?? *laughs*..

'when i'm alone, i start thinking.. but it often leads to a state of blank..'

short post

went for cell after a really long time and man, i really miss cell.. and to think that i'm be gone soon.. so will really be missing cell for a really long time.. in the words of hoongwei, it's rare sight to see you at cell man!!!

thought a little last night while doing file transfer.. spent the earlier part of the evening paying min a visit.. haven't seen that gal in ages and just when i get to see her, she's flying off tomorrow morning to canada for sep.. goodness gracious.. didn't even know that she dyed her hair and all that's happening in her life.. so much for being a girlfriend.. what a lousy girlfriend i've been to loads of people.. man, and to think that i've only that much of time to make up to people..

oh gosh, it's all because of age.. makes one think too much and reflect too much about life.. goodness!!! i sound like i'm hitting 60 tomorrow..

back to school..

today's the first back i'm back in school.. and i'm like some little primary 1 kid, who's so excited about school and i really am.. i literally bounced from place to place and everyone was wondering, how is it possible that i have such energy within me...

attended CN4208 lecture and boy, i really love the lectures.. coming in a close second position behind german lectures.. CN3125 tutorial was a torture.. first, the tutorial questions don't even look like tutorial questions!! and quote, unquote: it's a waste of your life!!! ended up scheming with jane on how to get out of class, coming up with all sorts of excuses but eventually, i did not pull it off coz i wanted to live out my 'be-a-good-girl' aspiration!! *laughs*.. and then, i was such a good girl, i actually went for CN3421 lecture BUT after i saw peijia, it was a different story... both of us skipped lecture and ended up at macs for food!! met guangpeng, cheewee in lecture and was talking to them.. man, i miss those days of studying with them in the library and bugging them over all sorts of engineering questions.. yeah, i'll be back to disturb you all soon!!! but linchun went back to pgp to sleep after lab while the rest were still stuck in lab doing expt.. hicks..

spent some time catching up with peijia and i'm really happy for her.. hehehe.. don't tell you all what though.. hahahah!!! and to all my friends whom i was supposed to pop by and say 'hallo' to, i'm so sorry.. coz i had a prior appt with some of my german classmates.. and guess what did we do?? we were watching german film - der untergang.. a movie, which i was dying to catch after returning home from nias but sadly, i didn't manage to do that till this evening.. great movie with great plot but the content was too heavy!! man, i was like, break/ half-time please!!! but minghui, leeying, yingchao, zoe, khim nyang, junfu & me braved through about 2.5 hours worth of german movie... i concluded that germans make either art films with meaning too deep to comprehend or history films with content too heavy or comedies or drama-type movies with all sorts of content... but yeah, that's one of the features of the land which i'm gonna spend 5 months at..

counting down to the day when i fly off?? actually i have no idea..

trying to remember..

kinda forgot how it feels to be a student.. hmm, can't exactly believe that i was at work till late today.. somehow i need to not allow work to take over my life but at this moment, can't see myself acheiving that.. oh sheesh!! how the world will i survive sep...

all my big plans on studying today totally went into the drain.. but i was back in school late in the afternoon coz i fell asleep on the bus.. but bus 10 brought me to kent ridge bus terminal so i ain't that far from home as well but was too lazy to go back so waited for my parents to pick me up for dinner..

it kinda felt good to bum around in school, though a little bit crazy to do that on a saturday.. but as much as i don't wanna admit it, i'll miss everything here.. all the bits and pieces of memories and fun.. craziness mixed with sanity.. all the hours of mugging and stoning around late into the night.. think i'll go back and do guest appearance during classes!! *laughs*..

just caught the ending of 'drive me crazy', which i watched many years ago with lixian.. suddenly missing her too... it's been a long long while and i haven't told her about my departure.. one of the many people who occasionally appear in my mind.. yeah, and another friend was talking about homemade potato chips.. just reminded me of ibu saya, pak long, nenek, abang taku and abang franky.. feasting on keropok that came from surabaya.. all those overheating of oil, which resulted in burnt keropok.. and of course, eating too much till we all fell sick.. hmm.. muz be the turning-21 syndrome.. whereby one looks back in life and goes, 'HMM...'

not gonna stay online too long coz there's much to be done and just had a little scare by my notebook.. man, i better start coming up with a 'to-do' list for myself.. meanwhile, conserve energy..

the passing of yet another week

and yes, another week is over.. and soon i'll be gone as well.. too many people are flying away.. first up was jason and then soon will be minz.. and then justin will be off too.. followed by the whole uk gang of people.. and somewhere along the way will be the us people.. and finally me.. feeling a little weird but whatever.. shall wait and see..

missed cell for the 5th time.. overtime, birthdays, fatigue.. He gave me a choice and i made it and shall live with it.. but i hope to be able to revert it next it.. missing everyone at cell..

oh anyways, the sunday that just passed was SEEKER'S SERVICE.. and the dance went well.. at least that's what i thought about it.. florence was saying that people said that the 4 of us were actually enjoying ourselves up there dancing, which is a good thing.. i mean, the song was chosen for a reason and whatever we are doing is to praise Him so i don't exactly wanna be bothered with what others say.. plus, minus all the pressure and stress, we will relax more too!!

and there was the gameshow too.. a life of illusions and expectations.. only to learn that disappointments are a big part of it too.. more often than not, only some people will leave the show being happy while the rest walk away, disappointed and hurt.. in times like these, how will you react? great message from rev norman wong, though don't exactly see the relevance of it all yet.. but what hit home was, i have loved you ever since you were in your mother's womb.. and i have already prepared a place for you.. how can He love me so much?? especially when He is perfect and i'm far from it.. but it's true, He loves me that much to give me one thing that i don't deserve at all.. it's all about grace..

lately been a more than horrible friend to many people... it's as good as work is taking over my life and whatever else don't seem to be happening.. loads of things which i wanna say but at the same time, i just don't want to say it.. maybe it's just me.. oh wells..

hmm, lately everyone's been seeing less of me online coz i was glued to the black box watching soapy korean drama serials - stairway to heaven.. and the whole office knows that i'm watching this serial!! now it's anthony's turn.. but i wanna buy the soundtrack really badly.. oh wells..



well, rest be assured, i'm back to roam cyberspace now coz i'm done watching it, after consecutive days of late nights.. but guess what? daddy just told me that my old desktop is completely kaputt!! so there goes all my music and movies, esp dead poets' society.. a movie with loads of stories & memories behind it.. and definitely all the school work, especially lab reports.. something which i've slogged hours and nights for.. goodness!! all gone!! now gotta go around bugging people to send me stuff..

too much to blog about!!!

goodness gracious!!! long long long weekend.. meaning the activities that took places starting from friday night to saturaday night...

went down to jasline's 21st party with kaiwei, huiling & daniel on friday evening.. man, great time of catching up and learnt about all kaiwei's plans of eating lunch at *ahem* certain canteens in ntu.. gonna play matchmaker for daniel.. success rate is still not known but have patience.. will upload photos of jasline's birthday soon.. let me get around knowing my notebook first yah?? anyway, here's those of us who went from secondary school..

here's the birthday girl with her birthday cake.. and the next photo is actually of the 5 of us!!! her birthday theme was bodyart.. but the 4 of us without any bodyart.. thank God no turtles were drawn on us too!! give us some credit k?? we even tried looking for some nice ones but they were just too cannot-make-it.. anyway, some friendships just happen and they go a long way to come as well...

woke up at the unearthly hour of 0730.. not that unearthly but unearthly for a saturday morning!!! went all the way to changi airport to pass joshua & amelia: pastor michael's samba chilli from surabaya and this medication for the patients in sifalate hulu.. and when pastor nick saw me, he thought that i was going to nias again.. well, i really wish to but not at least for the next one year to come.. and i'm feeling guilty..

then went back to school to meet shanli for co-op shopping session.. goodness, so many people were back for make-up lectures, seminars and whatever else there is.. goodness gracious, the best part was that shanli actually was in nias too.. and he was that close to staying at tomorrow's hope!!! goodness!!! hmm.. many thoughts zooming through my brain but don't know how to put them down here.. let me organise my brain first..

the most blur thing i did today?? it was to take bus 95 thinking that it was 96.. and great, i was late for dance practice.. hmm, another loads to talk about but too exhausted to explain everything here..

hopeless romantics...

hopeless: wishing in the light that something good and nice will happen but unfortunately, it does not happen..

romantic: one with unrealistic dreams and too idealistic..


'looking for love in all the wrong places, just to find someone who can erase that hurt..' guess at many points of our lives, we fall into that catagory occassionally... well, i do and i know it myself.. for all you know, this service may be more relevant for me then for other people.. but come and hear what this service has installed for you..

here's the details:
where?? lutheran church of our redeemer
located at?? at the junction of duke's road and lutheran road
when?? this sunday 14/08/05
time?? 11am

'broken hearts, broken lives... He will take them all..'

what a day for national day..

today's singapore's 40th birthday.. hmm, 19 more years before i hit that age as well.. but i ain't gonna blog about national day but rather the happenings today instead..

overslept and woke up at almost 9am.. went down late for music ministry retreat at changi village area.. erm, before i go on, let me explain things here.. i'm not serving in music ministry.. well, i did some years ago for a short period of time but just felt that, that may not be where He wanted me to be.. but i actually went down to meet wangping, qihui, florence & timothy for dance practice, which didn't take place till about 12nn, thus i was late for my next appointment..

but i sat through the sharing of the music ministry people and guessed, maybe that's what He wanted me to do too.. if there were any outstanding themes, they had to be about 'being still before Him' and 'to seek Him in everything'... and of which, both which i have not done for a very long time to come and maybe been goodness knows how long.. it just felt so painful and so empty, that it actually hurts.. hmm, i don't exactly know how to say it here.. i just need my solitude time again.. really, desperately.. away from the computer, television, mp3 & music.. just Him and me alone.. and had a short but great time of praise and worship too.. followed by dance practice..

oh wells, and definitely am late for my next appointment at holland village.. guess who i met?? met up with devin, shirleen & uncle bernard!!! nenek couldn't make it but later we learnt that she actually went home before going out again.. missed her just like that.. it was so great meeting up and talking like those days back in nias.. exposing each other's 'dirty trade secrets and habits'... *laughs*... i really miss those days and it seemed so long ago.. almost coming to 2 months since we came back from nias.. lunch was katong laksa... think wilbe pan was actually in singapore and was eating at the exact same stall as us.. coz there were like 2 van-load of fans tailing behind him.. shirleen was more interested in taking photos of the fans' facial expressions than wilbe pan himself..

this was followed by 4 muddy mud pies from coffee club.. well, uncle bernard could not resist temptation.. and all of us just felt so bloated after we were done.. but i finished my mud pie!!! woohoo!! uncle bernard made a call to debbie, who's in china.. and the 3 of us were just waiting for that priceless smile on his face but hicks, didn't get to see it this time.. and he told debbie that he was stuck with 3 noisy kids... goodness!!! afterwhich, devin, shirleen & me actually just stood outside cold storage and talked for almost 2 hours.. goodness gracious!!

met up with some of my german class people for dinner.. and as usual, i'm late but i didn't eat coz was still bloated from the muddy mud pie.. but i was eating off desserts at cafe cartel and weiyao's & khim nyang's fries.. stole views of the fireworks at the esplanade and padang from our window seats.. and goodness gracious, the crowd was horrible!!! it literally came to a standstill and there were people everywhere... argh!!! help help!!! the queue to the city hall mrt station was endless.. it finally cleared approximately an hour after ndp ended.. yup yupz, auf wiedersehen folks.. till i next see you all in school!! =)

on a sidenote: i better start on my letters else they will never be done by thursday!! goodness gracious.. and just heard the promotion ad on tv for snow.wolf. lake.. ARGH!!!

rag day 05/ doreen's 21st birthday..

this entry has been lost twice!! and posted one day late.. but oh wells, finally had a break from my 12-day straight working period.. financial period is almost over and after that i'm gonna take a break and go back to school.. oh wells, looking forward to that day.. but saturday was so packed, i was whizzing from place to place.. goodness!!! running low on reserve energy..

rag day 05

woke up at an unearthly hour of 0710 and was out of the house by 0745.. but missed prejudging still coz i was late.. but guessed what?? i saw all those whom i missed loads!!! there's luyee, huiying, siosen, tammi, simin, faith, jerry.. goodness!!

guessed that many of us went back to rag was for many reasons.. to meet up with friends who have graduated but have returned to help out with rag.. to help out with rag for many reasons.. but oh wells.. it just felt so different to be returning seniors and to be the organising comm... coz returning seniors do not have to endure through those sleepless nights.. all the crap and stress from the crowd, the admin and whatever else.. well, the rag and flag treasurer, huiching, finally understood what i meant by 'all the crap' just before the announcement of the results.. but anyways, great job done gal!! now, pass the baton on!!

being part of the 'score table', there were much emotions there.. just ask fayeth, she can tell you why... but oh wells.. and because of that, some stuff will become politically incorrect but i shall not go into it yah?? hmm.. if there's anything i wanna bitch about, it's the way manpower was utilised.. some folks were practically overworked while some were more than underworked.. hanging around and just.. hang around.. and goodness gracious, if you are helping out in the vvip area, please be properly attired!! *faints*..

the irony of it all was how i promised not to return to help out with rag.. and guess what?? i did, together with much of my rag comm 04.. oh man, i love those folks so much.. just to think that a year ago, we were the one running through sleepless nights, sandmodelling at 3am on the track, making stupid cheers for each other, picking confetti on the grass till we fell asleep on the red carpet that nathan walked on... and now, we are the returning seniors, helping out but feeling a little disgusted at what we saw as well.. and for once, our 'projector director', mr kelvin tang could sit comfortably in his chair throughout the whole event, without having to jump up at any one point of time... yeah, cheerios to rag comm 04!! and this year, majority of us brought our cameras to make up for all the lost photos from last year.. those of you with photos, please upload yah!!! unfortunately, i was unable to join them for a free lunch session at the new uni hall coz had to rush off to church.. salt & huiying defied all traffic rules to send me off.. gonna miss you all loads but chills, i'll be back in nus to disturb you all.. and for huiying, we'll be doing lunch at raffles place yah??

much to say but not sure how to phrase it well.. but for the very first time, i actually felt sad when guys cry.. i was really upset when i saw vader cried.. there's much i wanna say to him but i dunno how to say it and i can't as well.. but dude, you guys really did really really well.. it was really one of the better ones already.. hmm.. shall drop ya a note before i fly off coz i really have no idea what to say here.. be a changed man and come to class yah?? shall see you in school!!!

to da man: my friend and me felt that you all have acheived what you all have set out for.. it's disappointing but like you said, winning will be a bonus... and really, you guys did really well.. catch ya soon and cheer up yah?? =P

doreen's 21st birthday

gave angeline's a miss coz all my events of the day just overlapped each other totally.. was late for doreen's one and went with an aching waist and hurting toes.. boohoo!!! peijia went with bruises from cheerleading practices but the performance at rag was good.. well done gal!!!

had a great time catching up with my classmates, especially since i'm not going back to school.. as much as i don't wanna admit but i realised that, i really do miss my class.. nagging at them and being the greatest loadshark around.. think i was too tired so was really talking rubbish and being really lame.. xingyi called that PES: pre-exchange syndrome... right!! oh yes, finally saw jianz, who came like closed to 10pm, right after doreen has cut her cake.. peijia did a calculation of my intended guest list and all she could do was, SIGH!!! it's just too long.. humph!! doreen was like, you must have a party, so we can have your mum's curry chicken again!! right... here's a shot of the birthday girl and her really pretty cake!!! happy 21st birthday!!! =)


on a sidenote: i went down to queensway shopping centre this evening.. the crowd totally turned me off.. loads of things i wanna buy but pretty much deemed as 'unnecessary and not required'... plus money has been flowing out like water.. so quite stuck.. hmm, shall go think of its relevance before forking the money out..

meaningless!! meaningless!!

perhaps i'm really chasing after the wind.. clinging on to what that is not even there at all... if anything, please show me something.. i'm starting lose any hope that i may even have.. then again, it may have just be my own illusion all this while and now the fog is clearing and everything is coming into the light.. i can't even hide..

yet another day.. week gone by..

still using my dad's notebook though i have just placed orders for my own.. went back to school on thursday to go buy my notebook at matric fair... got daniel to 'smuggle' me into the fair, made a heck load of noise to convince the ibm sales person to allow me to purchase the notebook... goodness!!! i just feel so much poorer now.. and the best part, i was that close in purchasing an ibook but... oh wells...

went down to nussu sec and met up with the present rag and flag comm treasurer... hmm, much memories returned and was trying to retrace my method of calculating last year's financial statements... gonna go back to school next thursday to help out with the calculation of the statements and on saturday for score tabulation.. lookng forward to meet the rest of my rag comm.. erm, whoever that will be going down but kel & luyee will be there!! can't wait..

gave cell a miss for 2 weeks in a row coz of work.. there's just so much.. still trying to get used to it and trying to work as fast as possible coz of datelines and all.. but yesterday evening, i ended up at lau pa sat and eventually brewerkz with liwei and weiyao after ot!!! haven't seen these guys since may.. goodness!! and meanwhile, liwei has jetsetted to down under and now, in thailand.. HUMPH!!! weiyao is stuck in the lab doing his urops research.. stressed man!!! anyway, it has been half a year since i last went to brewerkz.. but this time round, i did not drink... i realised that i don't exactly have great affinity for beer, even if it is erdinger.. i don't exactly mind the initial and the intermediate taste of beer but i really dislike the aftertaste... shall stick to cocktails if anything... but i had nachos!! the cheese and tomato sauce were good but it wasn't sufficient!!! a whole chunk of my nachos had nothing on it... goodness!! so plain and normal.. and yes, i got home at 1am.. it's been a long time since i got back home so late.. naughty girl!!!

anyways, it was a great time of catching up and talking rubbish all over again.. miss these folks, especially since i'm flying off soon and gonna be back even before they fly over for the summer semester.. no wonders why they are trying so hard to convince me to extend my sep duration.. and yes, where is the money gonna come from??

watching 'the legend of bagger vance' and blogging at the same time.. the movie is still going on but this is what i learnt about 'how drunk is drunk' at the beginning of the movie..

"firstly, all the unhappy and sad cells are killed so you start getting really happy.. and then, all the quiet cells are killed so you start getting really crazy and start talking so loudly.. and the final ones to go are the memory cells and they are the hardest ones to get rid of.."

goodness knows how true the statement is but am suffering a terrible calf muscle cramp now.. believed that it's due to insufficient stretching earlier this afternoon.. but oh wells, shall go continue watching my movie and pray that the battery of this notebook actually lasts..

splattered all over..

feeling really tired from work but still not asleep.. stupid move but who cares?? my logic is as long as i don't collapse during working hours.. no biggies.. but yet i can feel my head swamping up soon...

desktop died again.. using dad's notebook till i get mine.. spending future money again.. no idea how to compensate all the credits since debits are almost close to zero.. oh sheesh, too much rap 7.. i'm even talking like one of it now...

been having really terrible moods lately.. and some folks may have had much crap from me.. so sorry folks.. lately been a roller coaster, just that the ride is still at the bottom of the loop.. literally no momentum is swinging me back up the loop.. but what the heck.. to certain extent, work helps me to escape from it all.. even hiding behind the bush doesn't work anymore.. seems like the bush is too small to contain my size.. but guess i'm controlling myself a little better.. if i had told anyone about anything a few days back, i am seriously convinced that i'll end up crying..

terrible post with parts of my brain splattered all over it.. picturing the to-do list at work.. waiting to administer the ticks to the check-list..

ich bin KO!!!

haven't felt so tired for such a long time to come.. i'm beginning to suspect that i'm actually running on energy reserve now.. did the most unlikely thing that i will do for a long time to come: fall asleep on the couch while watching television in the afternoon!!! oh wells.. and the sun went into hiding after 12nn.. it was so depressing coz the rain came back.. and thus so, my msn nick stays as, ain't no sunshine...

spent the entire morning and early afternoon in church... preparing for seeker's service.. and it really freaked the heck out of us when we heard a loud crack in qihui's ankle.. sheesh!! but thanks be to God, all is well and it's just a friction between knuckles, however care should still be taken..

procrastinate and procrastinated, i did not go to work in the end.. felt so stoned out after leaving church.. man!! and i realised how interesting the television looked actually.. by the way, desktop died again so here i am on my dad's notebook... i want my own too!!! banking on the guys to get all the application forms for me during matric fair.. sheesh!! matriculation was exactly 2 years ago!!!!

just realised that school is starting soon coz everyone is making noise over the CORS system, what modules to take and so on... and i just remembered that ntu is starting school this coming monday.. sheesh!!! hmm and then it will be nus, then smu.. crap, how to meet up with people at this rate?? by the way, saw mingui at ginza this afternoon then i suddenly realised that i've not seen him for like goodness knows how long.. and i met weiliang too at clementi central and that boy's hair has turned black!! thanks to the wonders of saf.. saw some other people too.. people from a not too long ago part of my life.. hesitated about striking a conversation with them, which i didn't eventually.. hmm, shall hide behind the bush for the period of time till further notice..

anyway, xiaojun's home.. yiting will be home in 3 weeks' time.. on a sidenote, can't wait to see meiyan and all during rag again... gonna make sure that i clear work so need not go back on 6th august.. and if lucky enough, jootz may be dancing for science rag!! woohoo!! and if i'm crazy enough, may crash lectures one fine day...

here's my new addition!! it was an impulsive purchase but i have a huge affinity for it!!! man, i was so closed to buying the duck if adeline had not 'violently' objected to it.. anyway, it's purple-blue-white in colour.. but i bought it more for the purple though!!! but due to the lousy lighting, it looked more like blue.. humph!!! and to tie in with today's weather, i shall name it, SUNSHINE... i know that it's really bimbotic and out of point but i bought it to spoil myself too...

went back down to school to get some stuff clarified up.. realised how impulsive i am man!! how dynamic i am as well.. not that it's a good or bad thing but just how crazy i am to just jump right into things, especially at the spur of the moment.. hmm, not sure if i'm making sense here.. the best part of today's visit was that chem eng dept sent me on a road trip to iro, by telling me that it has moved to the new university hall block, while it's actually still located in the old block!!! great!!! wasted some time travelling back to the old uni hall.. sheesh!!! but then, so happened to see the new rag comm 'practising' the laying out of canvas on the track.. it's like so long ago when we did that.. sheesh!!! to think that the exact same thing will be happening again in a few weeks time..

anyway, talking to the right people always get things done.. slow it may be but better than nothing done.. speaking of which, have to try and get used to the speed and the way the germans get things done.. some friends are still hopping mad over waiting.. but chills man!! try kampong and everything else is relative.. but of course, not all things can afford the wait as well.. sheesh!! contradicting myself.. *faints*

great day though.. felt really irresponsible and reckless to just throw everything aside and run off.. but then again, my brain still somehow can't leave work behind.. suddenly enjoy the feeling of just stoning and just slacking... insufficient rest to make me feel recharged but sufficient to last me through at least some time to come..

school is starting soon.. my going-out company will definitely decrease greatly coz all the guys are starting uni and the girls will be resuming school too.. humph!! gonna miss my class, LT5, E5-03-21, arts faculty, macs.. both breakfast, lunch and dinner.. central library, engin bridge, crazy enough but both engin canteen and dept office.. think i shall take time off some other time and go visit my class again!! hmm.. pending..

point of no return..

was thinking of how to title my post and so here it is.. quoting and unquoting my friend's comment.. sounds like phantom of the opera as well.. but there's no underground hideway, no river, no mist, no boat and no music...

well, perhaps more true than not, as of today, i've crossed the point of no return.. i've just been made 1610 bucks poorer but of course, spending future money but where's the money coming from?? i have absolutely no idea except that i did not rob, steal or plunder...

wrote my fair shares of emails for the past few nights and got some replies.. mixed emotions with respect to the replies that i've gotten.. not sure on what to do about them.. just that it brought me back to the point, whether if i should still cling on to whatever hope that is still out there... in many ways, it's as good as trying to capture the wind and keep it in a bag... part of what i've been hoping for to happen has kind of taken place.. well, i should be contented but yet, i'm still clinging on, hoping that something else will occur, especially to my favour.. oh Lord, teach me to be contented or do i not even want to be?

on a lighter note, i ruled the office with angeline in the evening.. gonna miss her when she leaves next friday.. all those hours spent in front of the computer editing and tallying figures and all the take-out sessions from arcade/ caltex house/ 24-hour/ philip street.. and definitely all those times of almost killing each other..

hmm, and i caught a familiar ring tone this morning on my way to work.. the same ring tone which i thought was a transmission back from the forest over the walkie-talkie.. sheesh!! and guess what, an email came in from abang franky this evening!!! oh man!!! so great to hear from him... both he and abang taku will be flying in to nias in a few days time.. man, i miss them loads too.. but ibu saya and abang devin will be flying into singapore in a few days time too!! woohoo!! all that's missing is uncle bernard, who is enjoying himself in LA now... *laughs*...

oh, kelvin called this afternoon and i promised to go back and help with score tabulation on rag day.. hmm.. oh gosh, what have i gotten myself into again!! well, at least, there's the seat near the vip area.. *crossing my fingers*.. i miss rag but guess it's more of the company that i miss..

oh oh!!! here's more about seeker's service.. we're gonna have heart-shaped cookies!!! aunty ammie and company are gonna be involved in the baking but sigh, i can't bake for peanuts.. don't want the kitchen/ pantry to end up in smoke... and we are gonna have fudge express too!!! cool isn't it!!!??? it's like a befriender's cafe... but it's gonna be so cool coz it's over desserts and coffee over any topic.. hmm, shall pop by the dry-run this sunday!!! so excited for the next seeker's service: HOPELESS ROMANTICS!!!