And So... This Is It!!

I promised to announce it, but I never once promise, WHERE I will announce it on. I promised to tell everyone when I have settled everything with myself, but I never promised WHEN exactly I will do it. But then this is Singapore, and given how much globalisation has taken over the world, it won't be surprisingly to know that many ppl have already found out one way or another.

Every time I thought I was prepared to announce it to the whole world, I always never did. So why today?? Some may ask. As I sat there in Dr. Tan's office, answering the million-dollar question, there was just a moment of release, a moment of reality hitting home and I know that I can no longer hide behind my rock.

I left my job as an engineer some 2 months ago. I left behind a dream of mine, a position that I fought so hard for to try to get to. A dream I fought hard to try to realise, but only to hit solid walls at every turn, literally almost. And so with much courage, tears, struggle, I left my engineering life behind.

I moved on. I moved on to a place I fought so hard to run away from. I moved on to a place that I wanted to hide as long as possible from. But I left myself a backdoor time frame of 5 years, which unfortunately got reduced to 2 years. Trust me, every time I think about that, I will kick myself for it. SO I went into teaching. Yes, believe it or not, I'm at NIE now.

You may ask why?? Why teaching of ALL professions?? I can only say that, after standing around aimlessly for 2 years, I'm tired of wasting time. I'm tired of feeling so uncontented and useless everyday. You can say that I don't have patience, which may be true to certain extent, but yet I can tell you that I just don't want to be stagnant.

And it doesn't help that I have a very simple ambition (as I have realised) - I just want to work with children, kids, teenagers etc. The sense of happiness in just seeing that innocent smile plastered on their faces, it's sufficient to get me through the day. Even if it's just some neighbouring kids of mine that I bumped into in the lift.

Call me simplistic or unambitious, but guess the past 2 years really eroded away much of my courage and ambitions, so now, I chase after things that hold a meaning rather than the beautiful passing wind. *See no connection?? Nevermind, as long as I can understand!!*

My engineering memories are all packed in a box and left in the corner of my cupboard, and I guess, that's where they will all stay. The past 2 years have been difficult, not physically but rather more emotionally and mentally (and yes, love it or hate it, women are creatures of emotions). It was a walk in a dark tunnel, with no light at the end of it. And who is to say that teaching won't be the same, if not worse?? I won't know yet, but though it is currently a walk in a dark tunnel as well, yet, the ground below me feels firm and I know the direction that I am heading in.

And so.. this is it!! The end of a long journey that I struggled and fought for, and the start of a new journey, which is almost a path of no return. I can see it as a path that will be difficult, scary, filled with loads of heartbreaks but yet, equally filled with smiles and joys and returns that may go a long way in time.

So this is it!! People, I've moved on and I'm going to look forward instead and say it out loud, so Bring It On!!