a bout of déjà vu

haven't been back to nus for a little more than 2 months.. dropped by yesterday to go spy on the pageant dance rehearsal but actually more to drop by eusoff hall to check on the union camp people.. but guess what?? i called a tat too late and salt told me that they were leaving for dinner already.. i miss meiyan, salt, huiying, kelvin tang, faith, luyee and all those rag people.. oh man, to my rag comm people, you won't believe who i saw on the bus today.. i met one of our 4 heavenly kings but specifically, the one from kent ridge.. and he's still helping out with rag back in hall!! oh sheesh.. to think that rag is now an affair dated a year ago..

on my way home this evening, had the privilege of the window seat on the bus and had the wonders of the evening sun shining down on me... accompanied by chayanne's yo te amo.. it totally brought back the exact feelings dated a year ago as well.. in many ways, i'm looking forward to experiencing it all over again and fly away.. yet i feel as though my wings have been clipped.. the sun on one's back, the wind in one's face.. perhaps even running down the streets late in the night, with cold air rushing into one's lungs..

went for renaissance at sji this evening.. as usual, without fail, any school event will end with the school song.. and then, there will be school cheers and whatever else.. reminded me of the days back in ac.. orientation, sports' season, june camp and so on.. can still remember how alvin and leonard actually banned me from teaching cheers during orientation coz i have already lost my voice but how could you do that to a councillor?? it felt so familiar, yet so foreign when i heard the sji boys cheering.. can't remember the cheers anymore, but if you leave me with everyone else on the rugby field at police academy, perhaps everything will come back..

if there's anything i realised about myself.. i learnt that i cling on to memories really tightly, whether they are beautiful or ugly.. so much for professing about moving on and telling others to not let the past kill them..

irony of the day: i have loads of rough paper with me.. at work, they are the misprinted copies of portia and journals.. at home, they are the misprinted copies of readings, lab reports and even pdc assignments.. sheesh!!! can't remember which faculty i'm from any more..