this photo was taken approximately 2 weeks ago from the balcony.. one of the few days when i'm home early!!! woohoo!! feeling a little déjà vu whenever i see this photo... kinds of remind me of that which i saw approximately a year ago, except that it was in another land... well, gonna embark and proceed to that land in less than 3 months but.. hmm..

spent the whole of today zooming from place to place.. from chinatown to bukit timah to orchard then home.. went down with eufo to settle our air tickets.. loads of complications and trouble.. sheesh!! suddenly sep looked like such a turn-off.. but the visit to marks and spenser totally brightened up my day!! oh man, had a shopping spree with florence at the branch down at wheelock place.. helped her to shop for this $80-hamper for some quiz in her school.. goodness!!! i want to be her students too!!! man, think about this: getting marks and spenser's foodies as a prize!!! sheesh!!! I WANT THAT TOO!!! how come we didn't get that sort of thing back in school days????

oh yah, the new harry potter book has just been released this morning at 7.01am.. and borders was having 30% off all paperbacks.. but the catch was that a harry potter book has to be first purchased!! sheesh!! made me happy for that split second!! duh!!! walked around staring at lonely planets but there was no books on germany.. then the paperchase section and i say, i'm gonna go buy more of them from uk.. then florence's favourite section: cooking!! man, i still am more likely to burn the whole house down..

dinner was at swensen's and there was this oldies cd playing in the restaurant.. man, i love the songs!! sheesh, sudden crave for these songs but i'm contented with what i have on my playlist.. =)

12/07/2005

for once, i need not wake up at the unearthly hour of 730am although some of my friends have to wake up much earlier.. slept till 830 before dragging myself off the bed.. had so much 'fun' searching for the german embassy this morning, only to realise that it's opposite where i'm working at.. wendy was like, DIAO!!! but nothing was settled coz i didn't have anything with me to begin with.. and as usual, the germans are well-known for functioning only for few hours and thus office hours are from 9am till 12nn.. so exciting!! imagine the amazing race!!

met yunling for dinner this evening.. so much rubbish and stories to talk and tell about and much shopping to be done but just that both of us are running low on cash.. man, miss her much and had so much fun catching up with her today.. and realised that both of us are mango freaks.. *laughs*.. she showed me her photography works too, which are for her school assignment.. cool!!! keep it up.. hopefully will get to meet up with her before i fly off again..

in need of a sabbath..

never felt so strongly that i really need a sabbath till the week that has just gone by.. finally appreciate what it means to take a sabbath and what sabbath truly is.. man, i really miss the times when we took sabbaths, literally everyday.. sheesh, i miss those days..

spent the afternoon with the crowd at the great singapore sale.. mango and zara literally had clean-out stores, especially zara.. personally, i have a greater affinity for zara than mango but i own more stuff from mango than zara coz of the great difference in prices.. picked up a jacket from mango, which is gonna accompany me through fall.. and actually the only stuff which i really love from my shopping trip today, though it's unfortunately pink again.. other stuffs were either out of stock or had inconvenient washing instructions.. oh wells..

in many ways, need a break desperately.. i need the sun, the sand and the sea, minus all the tankers and oil containers stationed at pulau bukom.. and my sanity as well..

suddenly, i want to fly away again..

a bout of déjà vu

haven't been back to nus for a little more than 2 months.. dropped by yesterday to go spy on the pageant dance rehearsal but actually more to drop by eusoff hall to check on the union camp people.. but guess what?? i called a tat too late and salt told me that they were leaving for dinner already.. i miss meiyan, salt, huiying, kelvin tang, faith, luyee and all those rag people.. oh man, to my rag comm people, you won't believe who i saw on the bus today.. i met one of our 4 heavenly kings but specifically, the one from kent ridge.. and he's still helping out with rag back in hall!! oh sheesh.. to think that rag is now an affair dated a year ago..

on my way home this evening, had the privilege of the window seat on the bus and had the wonders of the evening sun shining down on me... accompanied by chayanne's yo te amo.. it totally brought back the exact feelings dated a year ago as well.. in many ways, i'm looking forward to experiencing it all over again and fly away.. yet i feel as though my wings have been clipped.. the sun on one's back, the wind in one's face.. perhaps even running down the streets late in the night, with cold air rushing into one's lungs..

went for renaissance at sji this evening.. as usual, without fail, any school event will end with the school song.. and then, there will be school cheers and whatever else.. reminded me of the days back in ac.. orientation, sports' season, june camp and so on.. can still remember how alvin and leonard actually banned me from teaching cheers during orientation coz i have already lost my voice but how could you do that to a councillor?? it felt so familiar, yet so foreign when i heard the sji boys cheering.. can't remember the cheers anymore, but if you leave me with everyone else on the rugby field at police academy, perhaps everything will come back..

if there's anything i realised about myself.. i learnt that i cling on to memories really tightly, whether they are beautiful or ugly.. so much for professing about moving on and telling others to not let the past kill them..

irony of the day: i have loads of rough paper with me.. at work, they are the misprinted copies of portia and journals.. at home, they are the misprinted copies of readings, lab reports and even pdc assignments.. sheesh!!! can't remember which faculty i'm from any more..

gempa..

Magnitude 6.7 - NIAS REGION, INDONESIA
2005 July 5 08:52:04 (nias time)

what a subject to blog about, pretty much a taboo for me still.. feeling quite spaced out now, don't ask me why coz i can't explain it too... so much for getting used to it, guess i really did not get used to it at all... even back home in the land of comfort, every jottling of my table will sent me on any alert to get ready to run out of the building.. this will definitely work better than having a fire evacuation drill..

ndp rehearsal 05

stupid ndp rehearsal!!! never have i ever had anything against ndp but now i do.. coz when it's the rehearsal, all traffic around the entire area comes to a standstill.. roads are closed everywhere, all the way from nicoll highway to st. andrew's road.. sheesh!!! but why am i so negative about it?? coz the buses do not come and do not stop at the stops which i want to alight at!! i had to walk all the way to lau pa sat to get a bus home!!! humph!!!

met amelia for lunch at suntec city and due to the closing of the roads, i was stuck in the middle of nowhere.. literally!!! neither in raffles city nor at city hall.. and with a terrible crowd that strolls around.. sheesh, i wished i had wings and could fly!!! otherwise, i'll have to learn the art of zooming really fast in the crowd.. man, that's an art!!!

anyways, if there's anything i really do like about raffles city area, it's singapore river.. i know how unnatural the river is and how concrete it looks but hey, i love it for its peace and quietness especially in the evening, when the crowd is gone.. man, just watching the sun shining on it and the water reflecting the light.. can't explain it but i just love it..

oh oh, sehr spannend!!! if i'm not wrong, the team that is representing madrid at the ioc on monday is actually staying at fullerton hotel!! spannend!!! and then, there's a sudden flood of caucasians on the streets..

quoting mr. designer, ".....when I took my nightly walks in the streets of the city. At 9pm the city comes to a standstill. The streets are almost empty, and the cool breezy wind made the strolls fairly pleasurable. Just me and my discman against the world. Trust me, after having spent the entire day with the family I needed some downtime. Alone..."

hmm.. looking forward to the day when i can do this once again..

pleasant day..

and it was so... just before i was to turn into a stone, i bumped into faith at g2000.. and yes, the boring engineer-wannabe loves stuff from g2000/ mango/ zara/ iora.. oh man!!! haven't seen her since big walk 2005 and she finally decided to turn to the 'dark side' and dyed her hair completely black!! too black!!! *laughs*... and rebonded it too.. beats mine, sticking out in all directions..

the biggest irony of all?? faith's working at this recruitment agency which deals with engineers.. hmm.. and i am dealing with accounts!!! right, the bizad student's dealing with engineers and the engineering student's dealing with accounts... sounds like the perfect pair of misfits around..

but it was great meeting her and knowing that she works nearby!! yahoo.. my newfound lunchtime buddy.. *the crows are calling*.. went shopping after work but the service at this particular shop was so bad, it really turned the both of us off...

at the same time, yours truly is ballooning up and taking up more space around the house and everywhere else.. just feasted on loads of food, including cherries.. been having too much déjà vu these few days.. from a kid, whom i did not know but said goodbye to me.. to eating cherries in the month of june.. too much déjà vu result in too much thoughts.. too much for a small brain of mine to handle.. let me just fly away..

anyway, i will definitely be around for my own 21st!!! most likely will be flying off a week after i turn 21.. checking out my flights now.. so much loose-ends to tie but nothing seems to be progressing.. too used to the way of life?? pun intended.. but beats me..

1st week home..

home for more than a week.. close to 2 weeks actually.. met up with some people along the way including nenek!!! had much fun catching up and all.. loads of stuff but too much to type it all out.. had a few surprises here and there to spice up my week, including letters from afar..

having my own personal debrief session with aunty kie liang but only through with session 1.. erm, yours truly can't exactly sort out her thoughts and her brain, so someone has to help her in doing so, else she will get lost inside her own brain.. will update on that when she's done with everything..

today's sermon was good though i was there for only 3/4 of it.. rev thomas preached about the story of david and goliath.. how the world always see the problem as 'not quite easily done' and how goliath fills the whole picture but david saw the picture with God in it and in doing so, the problem is actually 'quite easily done'.. and that God is still in control and the battle is His, not ours.. hmm, felt that this message was really timely but shall explain its significance another time..

the coincidence of it all, was the card which eunice wrote to me before i left.. it had the exact same word on it: God is in control. Our Lord God Almighty reigns. Revelation 19:6

went with allison for her students' violin recital this afternoon at victoria concert hall.. but we're a little too late and missed her students' performances but at least we got to meet them.. the kids are so adorable.. oh man, believe it or not?? they are from the same kindergarten as me!!! the 2nd 'oh man' goes to the fact that pacific coffee at citylink has closed down.. oh man!!! gone for too long.. sheesh, we ended up at the pacific coffee at one raffles link and we got the couch seats!!! had a great time catching up and just talking through and all.. but once again, shall explain its significance another time..

on a sidenote: the school holidays are over!!! took me a while to realise that it was the holidays but then again, now that the holidays are over, the kids will be back in school.. the streets will be less congested on weekdays!! woohoo!!

back from nias, indonesia

a long overdued post and yes, i'm home... much to my own surprise and everything else, i'm back from being kampong girl and now trying to get back into life as a city girl...



'and the Lord saw that it was good...'

indeed, the Lord has been faithful through the 24 days that i spent in indonesia, be it in medan or in nias, His protecting hand has been upon me all these while... through the flight to medan, the 9-hour road trip to sibolga, the 10-hour overnight ferry ride to nias, the time spent at the orphanage, at the beach, at the back of the pick-up, during the land survey to sifalate hulu, throughout all the tremors and quakes and many many more... the Lord has been faithful..

before i left, i wrote about my search for something, which i have no idea what.. well, i still don't know what i am searching for but one thing is for sure, i will not give up on children ministry.. that practically summarised my whole trip... i did nothing but just stone everyday with the kids, though they don't understand a single thing that i said, but being able to sit around with them was more than sufficient for me..

this trip was exceptionally special and significant to me coz it's my first trip and my first time to nias... well, there's definitely a lot of apprehension involved coz i'm not going with people from lcor.. instead, the team that i went with was one comprising of 2 lutherans but not from the same church, an anglican and 2 indonesians.. guess that it was the mix that made this whole trip as it was... uncle bernard was truly the uncle of our group and the kids called him pak 'long' coz he was over 6-feet.. hweelin was offically branded nenek and she really took care of all that she could take care of during her stay in nias.. on a sidenote, hweelin's name did not register with taku but the name 'nenek' did.. shirleen became ibu saya and she really took care of me, including cooking for yours truly.. devin is forever the abang who, i guessed, caused a flood when he left and was ever popular amongst the girls.. 2 other people who made this trip really memorable were abang franky and abang taku.. kudos to them for taking care of 3 big kids while the adults were away... these are the folks who have seen me in my worse states.. and i'm not gonna tell you what they are...

in many ways, i experienced almost all possible forms of emotion during this trip.. from sheer joy and laughter to fear and anticipation to tears of sadness and farewell.. the joy of playing with the kids or just watching them play amongst themselves, the simplicity that they derive out of each thing that they do.. the way the older kids took care of the younger ones.. in many ways, i can never forget the way tõrõ took care of tuti, even though she's not his sister.. it's the almost fatherly love that he showers her with that left a really deep impression on me.. well, this was evident in many of the older kids as well.. or just watching them throw water at each other coz of birthday cheers and eventually on me as well.. and the joys of miscommunication that resulted in much laughter amongst ourselves and with the kids as well.. the fear of earthquakes and tremors.. for once, geography came to life and boy, it was scary.. i honestly confessed that the quake got to me pretty bad coz of the psychological aftershock that it left within me.. but it seemed like when it's only us who were panicking, life goes on as usual for the rest of the town.. subsequently, i actually slept through a few quakes and tremors.. and for once, i truly fear death.. and no, my life did not flash before my very eyes but the thought of not seeing loved ones anymore was really traumatising.. the next thought was the urgency of which the good news should be spread coz i suddenly realised there ain't much time left... the tears involved, ranging from the passing on of a girl to the pain experienced by evi and mei.. to sending off uncle bernard, nenek, abang franky and abang taku.. and finally to my own goodbye.. no kid was allowed to send me off coz the pick-up was required for the trip to soroma’asi, which might be a good thing coz i think i might end up flooding the whole benaka.. well, in many ways, words can't express what i truly felt at each point of time during this whole trip so to cut the long story short, the above summarised all about my emotions..

back to the people.. shirleen and devin really made a difference to my trip.. not only did i get to experience the singaporean's point of view, they gave me an insight to the indonesian's point of view, which was truly valuable because they spoke the language and could really relate to the people, as compared to one who sat by the door blowing bubbles and went around shouting 'tidak tidak'... sadly enough, many of these kids do not know who they are worshipping but just some god up there in the sky.. many of them have not experienced the Lord personally and it's pretty worrying coz they are just meer followers.. honestly, many times i wished that i could talk with the kids at that level and understand them better but due to my language handicap, more often than not, the kids had to attempt to speak to me in english, thus conversation usually remained superficial and minimal.. kudos to the two of them, especially in the commitment they put into conducting daily bible study sessions with the older kids and also in leading the word in both the morning and the evening devotions.. and definitely in many of our own private amusement sessions, ranging from laundry sessions to the checking of terms in a dictionary when deciphering a receipe to the amount of water that should be added when cooking rice.. and not forgetting, the encouragement that they have given me and even motorbiking their way to benaka to send me off.. thanks loads folks!! missing you both already..

and of course, there's abang franky and abang taku.. for one whole week, after hweelin and uncle bernard left, i was left in the house with 4 other people, of which, all spoke bahasa indonesia except me.. so no prizes for coming to a conclusion that there was actually quite a bit of miscommunication but we all laughed it off, at my expense.. but chills!! i really love the times when abang franky would play the guitar or electronic piano and the kids would be singing away.. honestly, individually, these kids do not have really smooth voices, but when you put them together, they compliment each other so well and boy, it was more than beautiful!!! man, i wished i had my mp3 player with me that very moment so i could record their singing.. at moments like these, i really wished that i knew bahasa indonesia and that i know how to play the guitar.. music really brings everyone together.. and abang franky is ever my earthquake warning system.. of course, there's also abang taku.. apart from the fact that he's japanese, what really stood out was his love for the kids.. once again, words can't express what i want to say here.. but in these 2 grown-ups, i saw the love that they have for the kids..

in many ways, my trip has been longer than many others who have been to nias.. i went from the point of being a tourist to missing home and finally to fitting in.. a little too well such that no one actually recognised me amongst the kids.. but when i looked back, i wondered if i've been a blessing to the kids or more of they blessing me.. there are many lessons learnt, of myself, of the people around me, of singaporeans in general..

of all the songs that we have sung, this one probably summarised the whole trip.. our team went over to nias without any structure so that kind of threw me off course in the beginning coz i'm honestly not used to life operating without structure and at a pace 90% slower than that at home.. this song was kindly brought to us by uncle bernard one night, just before we all fell asleep.. 'i don't know about tomorrow, i only live from day to day..' indeed, who knows about tomorrow.. who knows if we will be standing here talking to each other still when tomorrow comes.. devin mentioned about the significance of 'carpe diem' and i guess the phrase has found its significance during this trip, that is to seize the day for the Lord..

i remembered how i once mentioned that, i don't think i will be going back to this island because i just feel so detached from this whole trip and all.. but guess what, over the course of 3 weeks, we have decided that in 5 or 10 years time, our team will return with our families and devin will be our team leader.. but what's more amazing was that somehow, i promised the kids that i'll be back in 2 years' time.. it's just a little surprising at how the Lord has worked within me..

to read more about the work of the present singaporean team in nias, check out OMO.. there are bits and pieces of stuff blogged by both devin and me during our stay in nias as well..



on another sidenote, here's to the kids:

evi - my newfound sister, who is now resting at pak tobing's place in medan.. though you will not get to read this, you are dearly missed and i'm glad that i could go visit you before coming home.. you are really joy and made me really feel welcomed in nias.. perhaps if you didn't come up to me on the very first night, i may not be who i am now during my stay in nias.. thanks loads dear..

eci - my 'cuci piring' girl.. this dear girl has been faithfully helping me wash dishes after each meal ever since the first day i got there.. thank you very much and i really enjoyed the times we spent trying to learn chinese together..

kristina - you are really a joy.. i really admired your guitar playing skills and all the times you tried to speak to me in english, just to help me understand the conversation.. and definitely during the 'di siram' session, you fielded a pill of water for me..

seber - you are another one that took so much joy in learning chinese and i really enjoyed the times with you all.. you and eci are really sweet in helping me with the dishes after each meal and definitely when i went to the kitchen for more food..

time - thanks loads for your letter.. and yes, you are my sister.. you are another that took much joy in learning chinese and trying to speak to me in english too.. there's much that i want to tell you, but shall leave that all in the letter..

ge'e - you were one of those who went with me to the beach and i really had much fun.. i had much fun singing with you all and preparing for the soroma’asi trip though i did not get to go for it.. can never forget your puppetting skills at afia, you were great and i was so close to kidnap both you and tuho home..

rostami - thanks for the bracelet and bookmark.. i really love them and thanks for talking to me in english too.. really enjoyed those singing sessions too.. loads to say but can't get them out onto the page..

ester - you are a much stronger girl than you think you are.. and just wanna say a big word for all the fun and all.. and man, i really love the way you folks harmonised 'jadilah seperti yang kau ingini'..

dian - can't say enough thanks when you repeated the song that night during devotion, it was really nice.. and of course, the times when we sat there singing together while abang franky played the guitar..

elifati - you are the only person who spoke bahasa german with me.. and gosh, your pronounciation is much better than mine.. thanks loads for picking us up at the harbour at sibolga and accompanying us on the ferry ride.. there's much to be said to you so shall leave that in my bahasa english note..

tuho - to begin with, thanks for picking us up at the harbour at sibloga with elifati.. there's much which i admire about you and really had much fun and memories with you.. from the times of playing animal chess, to doing children's program at afia, to the beach outing and site survey, to learning how to sing 'dalam yesus kita bersaudara' in bahasa nias, to teaching you all to sing in chinese and definitely, 'di siram'..

seruan - your name is truly special.. and i was a little surprised to learn of the english meaning.. but you are far from what it means.. had much fun with you and you are one of those whom i dearly missed as well.. didn't get to spend much time with you but thanks for all..

tõrõ - you are one boy that i'm pretty impressed with coz you played pick-up sticks better than the girls.. malu arh!!! but i was more drawn to the way you took care of the younger ones, especially tuti..

dina, alfin, albar, mei, mega, fajar, nope, sonia, leni, yulisa, arusli, julius, syukurman, february, nani, ampuni, asinia, marina, murni, yulis, manaraja, imelda, kasih, herman, paulus, sederlin, seberlina, tuti, leo, amatuti, dirikan, dominikus, sentosa, filihati and to the many whose name i have forgotten or still do not know - thank you very much for all that you all have done.. don't ever think that you all will ever get to read what is written here but it was really an experience to be there with all of you.. i was definitely and still am blessed by each and every one of you, be it from the craft or just sitting around with you all, even in silence.. thanks for all the memories and i really miss you all... really hope to be able to keep in contact with you all and to see you all when i return.. God bless you all, just as you continue to bless the people around you..

the phantom blogger

i'm the phantom blogger.. here to reveal this girl's deepest... darkest... secrets...

no.... the girl in question is not back from indonesia yet.... but i think she will be back in one piece soon enough...

this phantom blogger's appearance... should be seriously one-off.. since phantom blogger is going off on holiday soon too..... and will be back only days before the girl comes back from indonesia....

so.. i shall try to reveal most of her secrets here.... hmmm.. let's see. where shall i start?

she..... is ditzy, crazy and nuts.... on the outside... but you should see her in her moments of sanity.... you see the serious side of her.... the one she possibly doesn't show much of.. hahahah:P

she always seems to be busy busy busy... a ton of things to do.. a ton of pple to meet.. the social butterfly who flits here and there... heehee... hmmm.... she IS really like that in reality.. going out with her is a non stop standing at one side and smiling event... cos she's always bumping into someone from sch or from church or from... i also dunno where.. heee

she's CRAZY about the colours purple and maroon .... all my birthday gifts to her coincide with those colours.. hee

ok.. so i'm not telling you things you pple won't already know.. but if i revealed her secrets.. like.......... how she's hmm.. enthralled by... SOMEONE... [ok.. i shall save myself and say jacky cheung here].. hahahah..... this phantom blogger will die upon the girl's return to this garden city called Singapore.. heeheee

anyway pple.. pls pray for the girl... yes the girl in question IS the owner of the blog.. heehee.... and pray that the Lord keeps her and her friends safe and that they all return home safely...

she'll be back before you know it...

signing off.... the phantom blogger :P

big walk 2005

sheesh, i can't believe that i allowed meiyan to convince me to go for it.. waking up at an unearthly hour of 0540!!! oh my gosh, and everywhere in singapore, everyone was going for big walk... goodness!!! human congestion and loads of jokes...

i cheated and did not complete 10km but i did approximately 8.something.. well, that's an accomplishment, considering that i do not exercise.. had fun with faith/ luyee/ chris & meiyan.. kind of an entertainment for me before the next few weeks ahead.. maybe that's why the youth camp was a break for cheep too... anyway, met eufo and weizhong too... sheesh, can imagine her going for runs while i'll be slacking away, eating in the room... *laughs*...

table's still in a mess.. my backpack is exactly 7kg.. still got a little bit more to go.. less than 12 hours to take off.. see ya all folks!! catch ya when i'm back..

nias, indonesia

well, this may be my most personal post on my blog.. i know super well that this blog is no longer that private.. coz it can be easily googled out with any keywords.. or it's linked from some other friend's blog...

decided that it's time to say it out loud.. i'm gonna be away for 3.5 weeks from 23/05/05 to 15/06/05 to nias, indonesia.. yes, it's the place where tremors can still be felt and the earth is still shaking over there... didn't want it tell many people initially coz just wanna see how things will turn out as the time draws near..

i would say that this is a long overdued trip.. not to anywhere in particular but more about me going.. somehow some things will just pop by along the way and as always, i will not go at all.. but guess this time, i would say that i'm thinking less and just going..

i won't say that i'm going with much faith and much peace coz there are still many things that are holding me back... well, sally got it right.. there's more things holding me back than pushing me to go.. sean said that i'm worried.. but honestly, i don't feel worried.. more like there's just some excess baggages which i can't put down.. i just need a lot of peace from my Father...

honestly, i have been and still am questioning my motives for this trip.. like what the world am i trying to find/ explain/ discover?? is it for self-gratification?? coz everyone is trying to stick their finger into the 'relief-work' pie.. or am i there coz i really want to be there?? coz i really want to serve my Father?? coz i really want to work with kids and really wanna make that my long-term commitment, though i'm thinking of whether if i'm a blessing or an 'evil' to their spiritual growth?? you can say that i'm thinking less for this trip but just 'chionging' in and see what happens.. am i being really fair here?? am i being helpful here or just an extra that will just add to the burdens of others??

few months ago, i wanted to tell cheep that i'm taking this trip to explore around, esp in terms of the children ministry but before i could get that out of my mouth, he asked me this, "do you like kids? if you do, take it as you are coming here to just be with the kids and spend time with them and interacting with them.. show them that there's people who care..."

so now, here i am, trying to pack to be ready to leave on monday and realising that i've quite a bit of stuff to bring.. including a gis map and a warzone to pack on the floor..

to everyone who have fallen asleep, you can stop reading here... the rest of the post is for my own book-keeping purposes... shall go on a more personal level and list out my reasons..

1. by God's grace, i've been partially sponsored by papa-mama scholarship fund.. the rest has been settled by 2.5 weeks of work, which ain't that much but nonetheless, it covered the money required...

2. NUS results will be released on the 1st of june at 3pm.. well, i'm anxious to know my results coz it will determine a million and one things, including my state of mind and reaction at that point of time, which can go either way and be deemed hazardous.. but then again, internet's down over there.. so shall see how i can work ard it..

3. all the necessary arrangements to be made back home.. administrative stuff to be settled.. enough said..

4. in many ways, the reluctance to step out into the unknown, ie. beyond my comfort zone.. in many ways, i think i'm eventually a pampered kid with too much, so to go beyond my safety net, makes me unsure of many things.. i know the exact remedy for this: PRAY and ask for GRACE & STRENGTH.. not from me but the one who is greater than everything else..

5. at this point, i guess this is the biggest reason of all: my parents.. well, i have obtained their permission and the 'green light' has been given.. but i know where they are coming from.. firstly, last june, their little girl disappeared to the other of the world for a month, calling home only at least once a week.. but this time round, she will be gone for approximately a mth, to somewhere nearby but not that safe.. in the same way that they are worried about me, so i am about them.. lately my mum has not been feeling well and my dad will be going on a business trip to beijing soon, so mummy will be home alone..

PRAYER POINTERS:

1. please pray for journey mercy and safety in every aspect for everyone on the team when we are over in nias.. pray for good working relationships between ourselves and with the people over there.. pray that we will be a blessing to the people rather than a burden, esp me who knows nothing at all..

2. please pray for my family back home, my parents, my relatives, my friends.. i know that this is all about me, but i guess i need the reassurance in this aspect though.. pray for good health and safety in all aspects as well..

3. please pray that i will not be a 'leech' but rather will be able to contribute somehow.. and that i'll really work to open my mouth and try to pick up the language.. and for my health too and that i'll not be so picky in what i eat and be blessed with a strong stomach..

4. please pray that i'll pass all my papers and be able to do well.. and i really need that to happen..

well, that should be all.. take care and see ya all in 3.5 weeks time!!! God bless!! =)

firstly, i'm not a star wars fan.. i'm just watching this movie coz of the hype it has created and all.. but then again, almost all movies have so much publicity done for it.. and yes, i beat everyone to it and watch the preview!! and of course, the theatre was packed...

this is really dumb i know... but i do think that yoda is a really interesting character.. he rewrote all the grammer rules of english language.. seriously, someone should just give him his own brand of english language.. read the papers and they were talking about how the same yoda model created for episode 1 was used as the stand-in for all 3 episodes, so that the actors had a point to focus on.. but the funny part is, the model was already melting away..

natalie portman is still that stunning.. but i think i prefer her in modern fashion wear than high-tech wear.. darth vader reminded me of gui.. and check this out, the m&m version of star wars episode 3.. what's so interesting is that darth vader's face can be seen!! go check it out man.. oh, i love the m&m chocolates too.. gosh, it's hideously funny... the kind of caption they have on the package such as this famous one: 'luke, i'm your peanut'.. oh my gosh!! here it is: star wars chocolate mpire!!!

sommersturm: my first R21 movie... with the 2 friends who said that, R21 movie tickets will be my birthday present.. but guess what?? i paid for this movie so you guys can't buy me the tickets anymore!! i don't want another R21 movie.. doubt that there will be any that will interest me anymore..

let's see, what's so R21 about this movie?? well, it's the content coz it explored the grounds of homosexuality, in particular, about gays.. and germans being germans.. the way which the movie was filmed was a tat too daring.. well, enough details there.. but it did left liwei being more than tramautised, especially since he's gonna go for reservice soon.. *evil laughter*.. hey, but chills yah.. they are still human...

what left a greater impact, was the thought of how messed up this world may really be.. just wanna thank God that at least, marriage between homosexuals is not legalised in singapore.. well, if it is, riot will break out man!! indeed, the film did raise awareness about gays and how we should not discriminate them, coz they are still part of mankind.. and the emotional struggle they face, ain't that easy too.. but just thinking about how God never intended homosexuality to come about but still, it came about.. in other words, it's against Christianity.. can't comment much too coz i don't know enough to say anything..

2 distinctive traits...

today i saw 2 different characters at play..

i saw integrity and righteousness from a child of only 10 years old.. it even got to the point of which he got so upset when he saw unfair play..

i saw, perhaps the self-centredness of adults.. i know that this sounds totally bitchy and all.. but anyway, there's like a group of people at the lift lobby but when the lift door opened, no one took the 1st step to get into the lift and just press the buttons.. i mean, it doesn't kill to just press a few buttons and hold the door for others.. instead, they all just stood there, waiting for that one 'unlucky' person to be the 1st one to do so.. *sheesh*

enough said..

friendster.com

good to be home when it rains... don't like to be caught being all wet and cold and feeling all sticky when the water evaporates once the sun comes out.. it's pouring now, coupled with lightning and thunder...

no more hongkong tv serials for me to watch, since i've spent like 4 consecutive nights watching till the wee hours of 2am though it's pretty early.. sheesh, haven't been so crazy for serials for a really long time.. but now that i'm done watching it, i actually feel really bored every night..

been spoiling myself lately with loads of things.. for example, i just spoilt myself with a brand new wallet from the wallet shop.. yeah, i wonder how did i get the money esp since i'm pretty broke now and almost in a crisis of having to borrow $$ to watch snow.wolf.lake.. which has more than a sudden hike of ticket prices!!! i wanna faint already.. but then again, i still can't decide if i wanna go for it..

as the title suggests, from time to time, i do still visit friendster.. to check if there's anyone who has recently added me to their list of friends... to check if there's any incoming msgs from any friends from any corner of the world.. or to check and make sure that my friends are still somewhere out there, swimming and surviving fine.. respiring just fine..

not a place that i should go too often too... coz it's a place with much to think about.. but just guess that i love reading old entries and see how much i've moved on and developed from there.. attempt to act mature since 21 is not too far away.. right!! *someone give me a prize for being so modest!!!*

what's up with me??

on tuesday afternoon, we finally materialised something that we have been planning since the middle of semester 2.. and yes, we finally went to johor bahru!!! what the world were you expecting?? that i flew to germany and back in the course of 3 hours?? though i would really want to do that...

stupid kelvin li played a dumb trick on me and horrible weiyao, just refused to tell me who it was till he put down the phone.. so as usual, mr late - liwei... oh wells, thank God for no traffic jam at the causeway and at the woodlands checkpoint on both the singapore and the malaysia ends..

took a cab to this seafood place, somewhere near taman pelangi.. RM87.95.. left us bloated and contented.. oh man, jawohl!! the beehoon was great!!! absolutely loved it.. maybe should go design one of those absolute vodka signs for the beehoon... stupid guys just enjoyed bullying me man... thank God that i wasn't too tired yet, so could still retaliate.. oh wells, but ignoring the guys, i just simply love eating!!!

next stop was holiday inn plaza, which was super boring and empty, with nothing much.. i mean, we ended up in some poster shop, staring at more than wonderful posters of all sorts.. yeah, saw this tigger movie poster and wanted to buy for my 'girlfriend' but was wondering if it's gonna be useful or just a waste of space.. oh wells.. shall go scout for other stuff for her.. and then finally, the guys allowed me to go down to city square shopping centre, which they deemed was another orchard road.. jawohl, sue the girls for their love of shopping.. oh man, east india company was not having a sale but saw some really nice shirts there.. tempted to buy it for my dad but guess what, my dad does not exactly seem to have an affinity for the shirts which i've gotten for him, so stuck in a dilemma.. but i didn't get it still...

had chocolate fantasy for dessert and the guys were going on about flicker-minded girls are.. it's like as though you folks are not too!!! and weiyao & liwei just kept going on about the R21 movie tickets.. and let me say it once more: I DON'T WANT THEM!!! GET ME SOMETHING ELSE!! humph!!! evil friends..

we finally left jb at about 930pm and once again, thank God that there was no jam on either side of the causeway.. was feeling pretty tired already and then liwei went on about how girls will never get tired when they are out shopping.. and how their legs seemed to be powered by batteries with extra long life-span, rather than glucose.. otherwise, they are always tired.. well, was too tired to retaliate to that statement.. but otherwise, thanks guys for all the fun.. really enjoyed myself...

wednesday afternoon was spent at fairfield sec... a place with loads of memories, some pleasant and others which i would rather forget of.. sometimes, i wish i have the memory of that of drew barrymore's character in 50 first dates, whereby you remember some wonderful happenings and forget the rest that happened.. was desperately searching for familiar faces especially since more than 70% of the old staff has either retired/ transferred out or resigned from the profession.. feeling a little weird being at the school, coz there seemed to be nothing which i can remembered of.. 'dad' was going on about how he will not go back to that school unless the 'cow' is no longer there.. erm, quoting my 'dad'...

and finally, i saw some familiar faces: mrs nagoor/ mrs chan/ miss thio/ mr tan and the ever present mr hou.. aber nächstes jahr wird er leider verlassen.. and so, there goes another familiar face.. mr siew/ mr matthew lim have left.. even my sec. 4 chinese teacher!! so much has changed even in the course of 1.5 years.. but unfortunately, i didn't get to meet my favourite geography & english language teacher: miss wong chun hei.. sheesh, if she ever found out that i didn't study hard enough for geog, i'm so gonna get killed...

quoting mr hou, "coucillors, i won't exactly remember them.. coz there's too many of them.. but prefects, i will definitely remember you people.."

guess sometimes, i don't exactly want to visit fairfield, it's more than the unpleasant memories there.. but there is an absence of that sense of place and belonging that we had of the school during our time.. well, prof chang must be so proud of me for quoting him but then again, i messed up that module big time.. shhh!!! miss wong must not find out!!! but honestly, sometimes i wish that i will be strong enough to take along whatever memories i need to go on in life and leave all that i should and need to leave behind.. and move ahead.. suddenly, i feel so vulnerable in this department.. just wondering why should i open closed doors, when they should be closed.. what the world is happening to me man???

and now, to the biggest dilemma of all: when the world am i leaving?? sheesh, it will affect my decision to watch SNOW.WOLF.LAKE.. and yes, adeline has just made me the most famous person on her blog by typing my full name out loud and completely in capital letters!! goodness!!! but i really don't know.. i cannot make up my mind due to various reasons and till i can sort them out, i'm stuck!! oh man, i really want to watch the production.. and it didn't help that i heard the theme song this morning, in CHINESE!!! argh!!! someone make up my mind for me please???

madama butterfly

i've waited a long long time to watch this production.. ever since the day i watched miss saigon, which was actually inspired by this very story.. so i jumped at this production though it's a local production directed by ivan heng, which is GOOD!!!! but the entire production was in french.. boy, at that point of time, i wished that i knew french!!!

remembered that i was crazy enough to go queue and buy the tickets just before exams started.. anyways, it was worth my time and effort, except that reading the subtitles was kind of tough coz you split your attention between the stage and the subtitles box.. and throw in the fact that i was really tired...

and adeline brought her digital camera too, which is not hers actually.. and she has terrible self-portrait taking skills.. opps!!! but it's true.. but then again, practise makes perfect!!! so go work on it gal!!! quoting that dear girl, which i only get to see every half a year, or rather, at the end of each semester, 'this is our first photo together, though we have known each other for 3 years!!!' well.. yeah.. just somehow both of us didn't have photos together.. even miss tan and me have photos together!!! and one stupid phone call which i made, got her a little flustered and all.. *laughs*

just having some thoughts about the whole story after the production ended at approximately 11pm coz president nathan was gracing the event, so the interval was extended till 25 minutes!!! lo and behold, i actually went for the gala premiere of the production!!! woohoo!!! *laughs*... some guys were joking how the lead actress should kill the lead actor before committing suicide.. well, i've loads to say but shall spare my readers..

haagen daaz midnight chocolate cookies kind of made my stomach feel a little weird now.. and to think that i won a free haagen daaz ice cream bar during some uob online contest!! *laughs*.. and yes, my desktop is dying too.. it's a miracle that i got it working now.. please pray that it survives yah!!! else i'll have to go back to school and 'fight' for a computer at the library!! and yes, i'm counting the times i'm going back to school this holidays coz this time round, i do not have a legitimate reason to go back.. i mean, as compared to last year, when there was orientation.. sheesh!! those were the days.. talk about graduating friends man.. i'll miss you folks!!

5-second food rule

[courtesy of suren]

1st second: that's the time it takes for your food to reach the ground...

2nd - 3rd second: that's the time taken for the bacteria and whatever little insects to realise that there is something big falling down on them and they better run away in order to keep their small lives...

4th-5th second: that's the time taken for the bacteria and whatever little insects to realise that, "hey, there's food for us!!! let's go back and attack it!!!"

moral of the story: pick up your food within 5 seconds if you want to consume them after dropping them anywhere but in your bowl/ plate..

my new baby - N7260

blogging more often now.. with a heavily unstable desktop.. i need loads of help to sustain it..



anyway, i got my new baby this evening.. trying to get used to the functions and instructions and all.. you all will be very glad that i've gotten rid of my N6510 phone, which still has a trade-in value of $50, and the what-you-all-deemed-as-irritating ringtone of it.. but yeah, i missed it though.. what a trick to pull on everyone!!!

oh wells.. mr designer reminded me why guys should purchase a pair of shades.. yeah, reminded me what gabriel said to me too.. *laughs*..

on a sidenote: great day but i really need my desktop to work well and not bail out on me!!