murphy fell for me..

yeah.. and he fell real hard.. man, i wished that he didn't coz it's an ultimate disaster.. went thru a horrible period this week and man, it made me wonder too much.. so much that i just wanna throw in the towel and walk away.. but i'm still here..

the moon's getting rounder and rounder each night as i look at it.. then i realised that i've been here for almost 15 days.. time flies.. much more to learn before the road eventually reaches a straight smooth portion.. but can that learning be buffered??

on a side note, i went down to the school bibliothek this morning, while waiting for the sprechzeit of the students' affairs office.. guess what? it was so nostalgic!!! i saw.. introduction to chemical engineering theromodynamics... chemical reaction engineering.. perry's handbook, what benny and me deemed as 'nur fuer schlafen'.. equilibrium stage separation.. and finally, who can ever forget this book: wwwr - the fundamentals of heat, mass & momentum transfer?? man, a walk down the memory lane of the past 4 semesters in chem eng.. and now in the world of verfahrenstechnik (VT)..

hey everyone, here's me, alive & kicking.. shopping trip didn't happen =( but oh wells.. have homework for deutschkurs due but i'm still online.. here's the harbour at landungsbruecke, hamburg.. tschus!!

Gruss aus Hamburg

it has been a more than eventful week and a heck of an emotional roller coaster ride.. there's so much that i want to say here but i just don't know how to start.. just felt that through it all, He's trying to teach me all about acceptance and adaptation.. and that in my weakness, His strength is made perfect.. hicks..

anyways, if you all still dunno, i'm now in Harburg, a little part of the big Hamburg city.. where the weather, by His grace, is still pretty acceptable.. but it's gonna turn horrible soon.. my fellow singapore lives a little too far away from me, so i'm occassionally quiet, since there's no one to entertain me.. made friends with ppl from all over the place.. i even have a shopping trip this sat with an indian gal!! of course, there's those who are really unfriendly.. anyway!! my apartment is really international!! i'm staying with a french guy who lives in paris but studies somewhere else in france.. a polish guy who's really nice and speaks really awesome german.. a spanish girl who's studying chemical engineering as well.. jawohl!! 3 cheers to MATLAB.. and the both of us nearly died at that!! the funniest thing is that, all of us are engineering students!! goodness!!

earth to the germans.. despite having been here for a week, i just got my resident's permit and just signed the lease contract.. talk about efficiency!! es gibt kein!! why is everything so slow? i dunch know.. coz i arrived on a sat?? coz monday was a national holiday?? coz the uni did not update the information deseminated to us, so we missed one working day? so much more admin stuff to settle but it seems as though i can only get half of each job done each time.. and yes, finally i have my internet connection.. the whole house is going crazy over internet connection.. the germans work about less than 8 hours each day and if you are wondering what do they do with the rest of their time? i have no idea, perhaps to drink beer, to walk around in the park or whatever else.. goodness!!

yeah, much to say but don't know how to say it all.. perhaps, my friend's right about this, that once you hit rock bottom, things can only pick up from there and get better.. i hope so as well and i want it to happen too.. and if He allows it as well.. anyways, i'm gonna get my german line soon so.. you all can entertain me from home coz it's free incoming!! WOOHOO!! yeah, will tell you all soon when i get my number, so you all can call me!! bwaahhaha.. okay, till then!!

packing.. packing, packing.. still packing..

okay folks, my turn to leave now.. don't chase me away, i'll just leave on my own.. tough to pack some part of your life over to another part of the world but chills.. all will be well.. crap, still packing..

okay, BYE!!!

updates!!

been a long long week and finally it's over.. dinner appts, surprises, so many cakes & candles.. great lunches that left me too full to shift my weight around.. this was supposed to be a reflective post for entering adulthood.. but who cares..

it just felt like any other day.. except that when you sit yourself down and do some thinking, you will realise that at 21, a little more responsibilities are added upon your shoulder.. you have to start having a more detailed plan of what your future may be.. and perhaps, start saving up for whatever the future may hold, regardless if you work or not.. well, there's definitely more to just that.. let me think about it and then get back here yah?

cherie had her 21st birthday party on friday and i was late.. humpH!! stupid reasons.. much be-early for her but hope that you have enjoyed yourself gal!! thanks for the present, gonna pack it into my backpack and off to germany, it will go..



it was haofang's & manquan's wedding yesterday afternoon.. and half the church rushed from orchard road to make it for the wedding coz of lccs flag day!! here and there throughout the wedding coz was usher for it.. but i still caught the vows.. love the part whereby the couple says their vows.. =P

went back to clear work today.. yupz, i'm finally done with work.. great experience with great people.. yeah, joke of the year: i'm taking financial accounting in german.. roger was like, that's it man!! can still remember guatleng's comment: might as well change to accounting course.. erm!! oh wells, gonna miss all the girlfriends' outings, the visits to remittances, killiney kopitiam, bugging anthony to watch korean serials, the free vending machine.. all the neighbours like 'xing ge', irene, 'luke skywalker'.. the super cold fax room.. newfound neighbours.. and baoli too!! keep in touch yah?? =)

starting to say my goodbyes..

walking in my memory box..

it's been a really packed 3 days.. zooming from one place to another and everywhere.. woohoo!! someone give me a medal for surviving it through.. anyway, long post ahead, so read if you really want to else it's just for me to do book-keeping..

king david musical & kids' church party

oh my goodness, the kids at grace methodist were so cute!!! goodness gracious, in those sheep costume!!! and yes, that little israelite soldier.. and those really really sweet girls dancing.. reminded me of those days back in children tamborine class.. but i've returned everything to wangping & grace.. hmm.. oh wells.. anyway, the musical just totally reminded me of the david sanborn's one-man show of king david as well!! that was a few weeks ago at redeemer..

had kids' church party the next morning.. ie. sunday.. anyway, i was the big kid that never grew up man!! made a tat too much noise.. but this's the last kids' church till i get back next year.. gonna miss all the kids, all those kiddy songs and kiddy dances... the kiddy games and object lessons.. and definitely, today's life story!!! perhaps, it's the chance for me to take my personal rest of children's ministry and go get refreshed and recharged.. in many ways, i felt that i've hit the point of bottleneck.. i need a new influx of ideas and energy.. so till then..

german class gathering..

round of applause for yingchao, for giving up his house to house all of us.. there's greenlamb, ying, 'mummy', weiyao, rongjia, junfu aka john, minghui and a new exchange friend from sweden, emilia!! we learnt that junfu couldn't make his own popiah.. chocolate fondue was great except that it might have well been contaminated with all the satay and whatever else.. anyway, it was really sweet of all of them.. i blew candles yesterday twice.. once was the cake which eunice baked.. and another was with the german class ppl.. thanks loads.. and as typical classic japanese tourists, we were taking photos.. and i ate a tat too much..



my cell group - S.O.C

nope, we are not the school of computing neither are we the standard obstacle course.. we are known as the servants of christ!! anyway, eunice baked me a peach-lemon cake!! isn't that great.. really thankful for the many years of friendship with my cell friends.. we all grew up together.. that's how long we have all known each other.. gonna miss them all..


childhood friends.. we grew up together..


here's with my fellow 'age with grace' cell group leader.. man, jo, here we are on our way to adulthood!! *gasps*..

had dinner with them on monday evening at fisherman's wharf.. and guess who came? lixian & yueping!!! oh man, i haven't seen them for ages.. i'm hoping that yueping will webcast her wedding though.. *laughs*.. great food, great company.. drives all tiredness away.. thanks loads everyone!! =)

taku's in town [version 2.0]

so taku, sampai jumpa lagi.. goodness knows when we will all meet again.. either we fly over to japan some day or we all 'reunite' on nias island some day.. thanks for all the dinners and fun.. many things get lost in translation though.. so as all germans go, auf wiedersehen..

here's the dinner with nenek.. pak long had rc dinner..

LOA.. at last..

well, it's finally sinking in.. and yes, the feeling is finally setting in and suddenly i'm feeling all lost and confused.. seems a little too soon that i'll be gone from singapore as well... so much not done and much more to be planned but before i know it.. whoosh, off i go.. woohoo!!! too fast.. so fast!!!

somehow there's this reluctance to submit LOA, though it would have been a smart move to submit it as early as possible.. as it will spare all the trouble of having to explain to the lecturers and having all those question marks next to my name, making me an international lady of mystery ie. missing in action..

well, let's just say i do the most impulsive thing at the absolutely wrong moment but yeah, i just filed LOA.. so exciting man, blame my dynamic lifestyle.. perhaps i should have done it much earlier.. perhaps i should hold back a little later and do it like next week?? well, whatever it is, what's done, is done..

and so it is..

taku's in town [version 1.0]

it's like reliving all those days back in nias once again.. oh man, i was really happy to see everyone again.. well, almost everyone's here except hweelin and franky.. taku's in town!!! man, haven't seen him for 4 months.. yeah, uncle bernard and devin were jealous of my reaction.. but can't blame the fact that i just saw them a month back!!!

here's taku with shirleen & devin... anyways... yeah, got them to go down to tiong bahru hawker centre for dinner.. we had all sorts of food... goodness!! and for once, the guys were actually full.. *laughs*.. shirleen was late and she came with all my keropok from surabaya.. yummy!!! yeah, please remind me that the oil need not be heated for 15 minutes at maximum fire.. else there goes all my keropok!!! oh oh, taku got us stuff from japan as well... hmm, gonna miss everything.. all the 'lost in translation' and all the crazy jokes... man, devin just had to remind us of the 'flying money' incident.. well, a classic example of 'lost in translation'..

here's uncle bernard.. well, too bad i'm unable to capture that classic smile of his... which only appears after trying many many times to call through the telewaves to china.. and when debbie picks up the call.. woohoo!! how can any of us forget that smile... okay folks.. more updates tomorrow.. especially with more food on the table and more people fellowshipping..

dental visit and a lazy saturday...

i don't like it at all!!! oh man, i thought that i would have overcome it since it has been a while since i went to the dentist.. but nope!!! as i sat on 'the chair' waiting for the dentist to finish helping this granny fix her dentures, i could not help but start freaking out a little... and man, i was really getting scared of the dentist...

couldn't help but recall all those days back in primary and secondary school.. when we would all be dying to avoid visits to the dental clinic for all periods but yet, want so desperately to visit the dentist during pe periods, for the simple reason of skipping pe lessons!!! man, can still remember when the teacher came with those white appointment cards, everyone would go, better not be me man...

i can still remember my first visit to the dentist.. that pink dental chair with 2 nurses at the dental clinic.. there was one who was so unfriendly that all of us would pray real hard that we would not get her.. the other was much nicer and yours truly always got her!! i used to think that all those sounds resulting from the cleaning of the teeth were due to the bacteria and germs screaming coz of the effect of the cleaning chemicals used.. well, but that was when i was in primary 1!!!! but of course, they are due to the machinery and all...

anyways, conclusion made: i still have a big fear of the dentist.. and i don't like pain.. end of story.. =P

hmm.. all my evening plans did not come about but went home to slack after buying my luggage hardware at chinatown.. well, it's huge!! and guess who i met?? saw christopher at his aunt's flower shop!!! well, apparently meiyan was just some distance away at delifrance, meeting a client.. humph!!! i miss seeing meiyan!!! remember muz do dinner soon yah!!!?? back home, i watched so much tv.. from japanese serial to china serial and even to hongkong serial, which is none other than kindred spirit.. yes, i'm that bored.. and then i finally took my saturday afternoon nap session!! haven't done that for a long time..

oh oh, i really really think that the new refrigerator advertisement, but i can't remember which brand, is really really funny.. you have those vegetables jumping around.. starting with a carrot, then a capsucium, then a tomato and finally, a cabbage.. but due to insufficient space, the cabbage kept hitting his head against the roof of the compartment.. well, i really laughed for like donkeys before stopping.. sue me but i think it's funny!!

it's me against the wind..

i love the wind.. of course not that of having wind in the stomach coz that HURTS a lot... anyway, had such a wonderful and pretty strong sea breeze blowing from the direction of one fullerton.. i know that the wind is not always friendly.. more often than not, it's almost always too cold and sometimes, excess exposure results in chills, pain and whatever else.. silly as it sounds but i really want to go to a place, where i can stare at the sea every day.. walk along the coastline and allow the saltwater to make my toes all grandmother-like.. enjoy the sea breeze every moment.. and the solitude that comes along with it.. and so what i do best: stone..

suddenly, i have an urge to go to sentosa again.. but it's now the nationwide school holidays, with too many kids roaming around the streets.. human traffic hazards!!!

hmm... in 23 days time.. i won't get to do the above.. but it's the cold, the quiet moments and the solitude that draw me..

hmm.. great day!!

hmm... it's been a pretty good day.. today's baoli's birthday too!! welcoming her into the world of the 2-something.. but sheesh, i'm going on to one more year ahead..

anyway, set my alarm for 430am so that i could make that one impt phone call to say bye to my brother.. hmm, he figured that i was half-awake though.. boohoO!!! he should still be on the plane now.. canada is like on the other side of the world.. hmm, i'm gonna try and save up after exchange so that i can go tour canada and pay both him and lisa a visit.. missing my brother already..

time kinda inched at work.. and it didn't help that portia was staging a revolution against me.. enjoyed candice's email though... anyway, here goes:
you should put in 100% effort in your work!!!
10% on monday..
20% on tuesday..
40% on wednesday..
25% on thursday..
5% on friday..

baoli went to meet angeline and her clique for dinner, in celebration of her birthday!!! think that she got a really pleasant surprise, courtesy of angeline and company.. *laughs*.. happy birthday gal!! thanks for being such a great girlfriend at work.. man, gonna miss you when i leave.. all the lunch dates and talks, shopping and tea-breaks.. =)

hmm, i was late for the genies' gathering at suntec swensens.. this is because of some horrid jam between raffles place and suntec.. goodness gracious!!! a 5-min bus ride became a 45-min bus ride.. what rubbish man!!! humph!!! been to swensens too often but thank God for the 10% discount with uob cards.. not that i'm trying to promote uob debit/ credit cards.. great time of catching up and taking photos.. me trying to take maximum no. of photos of all my friends and gonna keep them in my notebook.. so as to remember everyone!!! the folks were really sweet.. celebrated huiling & my 21st.. blowing candles way too early and really feeling old about it.. hmm.. gonna miss everyone though.. thanks for all the memories and all the fun.. really appreciate it loads..

surprises, emotions, huh??

it's been a while since everything goes in all direction.. well, even if that has always been the case, maybe i'm just a little too disillusioned to bother about it..

hmm.. didn't get to watch 'charlie and the chocolate factory'.. but watched 'wedding crashers' instead.. silly humour with really colourful language and images.. nc16 seems a little too inappropriate.. should just make it m18, then that may remove those sec. sch kids from the theatre... hmm.. speaking of movies, this is my first movie even since 'star wars episode 3'.. candice was like, where have you been hiding man.. yeah.. 'mr and mrs smith' did not come about and with the death of my old harddisk, i lost the movie as well.. i just want back 'ever after' and 'dead poets' society'.. humph!!

and they remembered.. they remembered my birthday and time even made me card, which resembled too much like that of a christmas card but who cares?? it's enough to send me over the moon and onto cloud 9.. letters are enough to make me more than happy.. but i know, i know about the expectation but only to be disappointed.. i'll gonna make this my last present till next year and it has to be done.. hmm, if you don't understand, just leave me to my own musings yeah?? *laughs*..

'when i'm alone, i start thinking.. but it often leads to a state of blank..'

short post

went for cell after a really long time and man, i really miss cell.. and to think that i'm be gone soon.. so will really be missing cell for a really long time.. in the words of hoongwei, it's rare sight to see you at cell man!!!

thought a little last night while doing file transfer.. spent the earlier part of the evening paying min a visit.. haven't seen that gal in ages and just when i get to see her, she's flying off tomorrow morning to canada for sep.. goodness gracious.. didn't even know that she dyed her hair and all that's happening in her life.. so much for being a girlfriend.. what a lousy girlfriend i've been to loads of people.. man, and to think that i've only that much of time to make up to people..

oh gosh, it's all because of age.. makes one think too much and reflect too much about life.. goodness!!! i sound like i'm hitting 60 tomorrow..

back to school..

today's the first back i'm back in school.. and i'm like some little primary 1 kid, who's so excited about school and i really am.. i literally bounced from place to place and everyone was wondering, how is it possible that i have such energy within me...

attended CN4208 lecture and boy, i really love the lectures.. coming in a close second position behind german lectures.. CN3125 tutorial was a torture.. first, the tutorial questions don't even look like tutorial questions!! and quote, unquote: it's a waste of your life!!! ended up scheming with jane on how to get out of class, coming up with all sorts of excuses but eventually, i did not pull it off coz i wanted to live out my 'be-a-good-girl' aspiration!! *laughs*.. and then, i was such a good girl, i actually went for CN3421 lecture BUT after i saw peijia, it was a different story... both of us skipped lecture and ended up at macs for food!! met guangpeng, cheewee in lecture and was talking to them.. man, i miss those days of studying with them in the library and bugging them over all sorts of engineering questions.. yeah, i'll be back to disturb you all soon!!! but linchun went back to pgp to sleep after lab while the rest were still stuck in lab doing expt.. hicks..

spent some time catching up with peijia and i'm really happy for her.. hehehe.. don't tell you all what though.. hahahah!!! and to all my friends whom i was supposed to pop by and say 'hallo' to, i'm so sorry.. coz i had a prior appt with some of my german classmates.. and guess what did we do?? we were watching german film - der untergang.. a movie, which i was dying to catch after returning home from nias but sadly, i didn't manage to do that till this evening.. great movie with great plot but the content was too heavy!! man, i was like, break/ half-time please!!! but minghui, leeying, yingchao, zoe, khim nyang, junfu & me braved through about 2.5 hours worth of german movie... i concluded that germans make either art films with meaning too deep to comprehend or history films with content too heavy or comedies or drama-type movies with all sorts of content... but yeah, that's one of the features of the land which i'm gonna spend 5 months at..

counting down to the day when i fly off?? actually i have no idea..

trying to remember..

kinda forgot how it feels to be a student.. hmm, can't exactly believe that i was at work till late today.. somehow i need to not allow work to take over my life but at this moment, can't see myself acheiving that.. oh sheesh!! how the world will i survive sep...

all my big plans on studying today totally went into the drain.. but i was back in school late in the afternoon coz i fell asleep on the bus.. but bus 10 brought me to kent ridge bus terminal so i ain't that far from home as well but was too lazy to go back so waited for my parents to pick me up for dinner..

it kinda felt good to bum around in school, though a little bit crazy to do that on a saturday.. but as much as i don't wanna admit it, i'll miss everything here.. all the bits and pieces of memories and fun.. craziness mixed with sanity.. all the hours of mugging and stoning around late into the night.. think i'll go back and do guest appearance during classes!! *laughs*..

just caught the ending of 'drive me crazy', which i watched many years ago with lixian.. suddenly missing her too... it's been a long long while and i haven't told her about my departure.. one of the many people who occasionally appear in my mind.. yeah, and another friend was talking about homemade potato chips.. just reminded me of ibu saya, pak long, nenek, abang taku and abang franky.. feasting on keropok that came from surabaya.. all those overheating of oil, which resulted in burnt keropok.. and of course, eating too much till we all fell sick.. hmm.. muz be the turning-21 syndrome.. whereby one looks back in life and goes, 'HMM...'

not gonna stay online too long coz there's much to be done and just had a little scare by my notebook.. man, i better start coming up with a 'to-do' list for myself.. meanwhile, conserve energy..

the passing of yet another week

and yes, another week is over.. and soon i'll be gone as well.. too many people are flying away.. first up was jason and then soon will be minz.. and then justin will be off too.. followed by the whole uk gang of people.. and somewhere along the way will be the us people.. and finally me.. feeling a little weird but whatever.. shall wait and see..

missed cell for the 5th time.. overtime, birthdays, fatigue.. He gave me a choice and i made it and shall live with it.. but i hope to be able to revert it next it.. missing everyone at cell..

oh anyways, the sunday that just passed was SEEKER'S SERVICE.. and the dance went well.. at least that's what i thought about it.. florence was saying that people said that the 4 of us were actually enjoying ourselves up there dancing, which is a good thing.. i mean, the song was chosen for a reason and whatever we are doing is to praise Him so i don't exactly wanna be bothered with what others say.. plus, minus all the pressure and stress, we will relax more too!!

and there was the gameshow too.. a life of illusions and expectations.. only to learn that disappointments are a big part of it too.. more often than not, only some people will leave the show being happy while the rest walk away, disappointed and hurt.. in times like these, how will you react? great message from rev norman wong, though don't exactly see the relevance of it all yet.. but what hit home was, i have loved you ever since you were in your mother's womb.. and i have already prepared a place for you.. how can He love me so much?? especially when He is perfect and i'm far from it.. but it's true, He loves me that much to give me one thing that i don't deserve at all.. it's all about grace..

lately been a more than horrible friend to many people... it's as good as work is taking over my life and whatever else don't seem to be happening.. loads of things which i wanna say but at the same time, i just don't want to say it.. maybe it's just me.. oh wells..

hmm, lately everyone's been seeing less of me online coz i was glued to the black box watching soapy korean drama serials - stairway to heaven.. and the whole office knows that i'm watching this serial!! now it's anthony's turn.. but i wanna buy the soundtrack really badly.. oh wells..



well, rest be assured, i'm back to roam cyberspace now coz i'm done watching it, after consecutive days of late nights.. but guess what? daddy just told me that my old desktop is completely kaputt!! so there goes all my music and movies, esp dead poets' society.. a movie with loads of stories & memories behind it.. and definitely all the school work, especially lab reports.. something which i've slogged hours and nights for.. goodness!! all gone!! now gotta go around bugging people to send me stuff..

too much to blog about!!!

goodness gracious!!! long long long weekend.. meaning the activities that took places starting from friday night to saturaday night...

went down to jasline's 21st party with kaiwei, huiling & daniel on friday evening.. man, great time of catching up and learnt about all kaiwei's plans of eating lunch at *ahem* certain canteens in ntu.. gonna play matchmaker for daniel.. success rate is still not known but have patience.. will upload photos of jasline's birthday soon.. let me get around knowing my notebook first yah?? anyway, here's those of us who went from secondary school..

here's the birthday girl with her birthday cake.. and the next photo is actually of the 5 of us!!! her birthday theme was bodyart.. but the 4 of us without any bodyart.. thank God no turtles were drawn on us too!! give us some credit k?? we even tried looking for some nice ones but they were just too cannot-make-it.. anyway, some friendships just happen and they go a long way to come as well...

woke up at the unearthly hour of 0730.. not that unearthly but unearthly for a saturday morning!!! went all the way to changi airport to pass joshua & amelia: pastor michael's samba chilli from surabaya and this medication for the patients in sifalate hulu.. and when pastor nick saw me, he thought that i was going to nias again.. well, i really wish to but not at least for the next one year to come.. and i'm feeling guilty..

then went back to school to meet shanli for co-op shopping session.. goodness, so many people were back for make-up lectures, seminars and whatever else there is.. goodness gracious, the best part was that shanli actually was in nias too.. and he was that close to staying at tomorrow's hope!!! goodness!!! hmm.. many thoughts zooming through my brain but don't know how to put them down here.. let me organise my brain first..

the most blur thing i did today?? it was to take bus 95 thinking that it was 96.. and great, i was late for dance practice.. hmm, another loads to talk about but too exhausted to explain everything here..

hopeless romantics...

hopeless: wishing in the light that something good and nice will happen but unfortunately, it does not happen..

romantic: one with unrealistic dreams and too idealistic..


'looking for love in all the wrong places, just to find someone who can erase that hurt..' guess at many points of our lives, we fall into that catagory occassionally... well, i do and i know it myself.. for all you know, this service may be more relevant for me then for other people.. but come and hear what this service has installed for you..

here's the details:
where?? lutheran church of our redeemer
located at?? at the junction of duke's road and lutheran road
when?? this sunday 14/08/05
time?? 11am

'broken hearts, broken lives... He will take them all..'

what a day for national day..

today's singapore's 40th birthday.. hmm, 19 more years before i hit that age as well.. but i ain't gonna blog about national day but rather the happenings today instead..

overslept and woke up at almost 9am.. went down late for music ministry retreat at changi village area.. erm, before i go on, let me explain things here.. i'm not serving in music ministry.. well, i did some years ago for a short period of time but just felt that, that may not be where He wanted me to be.. but i actually went down to meet wangping, qihui, florence & timothy for dance practice, which didn't take place till about 12nn, thus i was late for my next appointment..

but i sat through the sharing of the music ministry people and guessed, maybe that's what He wanted me to do too.. if there were any outstanding themes, they had to be about 'being still before Him' and 'to seek Him in everything'... and of which, both which i have not done for a very long time to come and maybe been goodness knows how long.. it just felt so painful and so empty, that it actually hurts.. hmm, i don't exactly know how to say it here.. i just need my solitude time again.. really, desperately.. away from the computer, television, mp3 & music.. just Him and me alone.. and had a short but great time of praise and worship too.. followed by dance practice..

oh wells, and definitely am late for my next appointment at holland village.. guess who i met?? met up with devin, shirleen & uncle bernard!!! nenek couldn't make it but later we learnt that she actually went home before going out again.. missed her just like that.. it was so great meeting up and talking like those days back in nias.. exposing each other's 'dirty trade secrets and habits'... *laughs*... i really miss those days and it seemed so long ago.. almost coming to 2 months since we came back from nias.. lunch was katong laksa... think wilbe pan was actually in singapore and was eating at the exact same stall as us.. coz there were like 2 van-load of fans tailing behind him.. shirleen was more interested in taking photos of the fans' facial expressions than wilbe pan himself..

this was followed by 4 muddy mud pies from coffee club.. well, uncle bernard could not resist temptation.. and all of us just felt so bloated after we were done.. but i finished my mud pie!!! woohoo!! uncle bernard made a call to debbie, who's in china.. and the 3 of us were just waiting for that priceless smile on his face but hicks, didn't get to see it this time.. and he told debbie that he was stuck with 3 noisy kids... goodness!!! afterwhich, devin, shirleen & me actually just stood outside cold storage and talked for almost 2 hours.. goodness gracious!!

met up with some of my german class people for dinner.. and as usual, i'm late but i didn't eat coz was still bloated from the muddy mud pie.. but i was eating off desserts at cafe cartel and weiyao's & khim nyang's fries.. stole views of the fireworks at the esplanade and padang from our window seats.. and goodness gracious, the crowd was horrible!!! it literally came to a standstill and there were people everywhere... argh!!! help help!!! the queue to the city hall mrt station was endless.. it finally cleared approximately an hour after ndp ended.. yup yupz, auf wiedersehen folks.. till i next see you all in school!! =)

on a sidenote: i better start on my letters else they will never be done by thursday!! goodness gracious.. and just heard the promotion ad on tv for snow.wolf. lake.. ARGH!!!

rag day 05/ doreen's 21st birthday..

this entry has been lost twice!! and posted one day late.. but oh wells, finally had a break from my 12-day straight working period.. financial period is almost over and after that i'm gonna take a break and go back to school.. oh wells, looking forward to that day.. but saturday was so packed, i was whizzing from place to place.. goodness!!! running low on reserve energy..

rag day 05

woke up at an unearthly hour of 0710 and was out of the house by 0745.. but missed prejudging still coz i was late.. but guessed what?? i saw all those whom i missed loads!!! there's luyee, huiying, siosen, tammi, simin, faith, jerry.. goodness!!

guessed that many of us went back to rag was for many reasons.. to meet up with friends who have graduated but have returned to help out with rag.. to help out with rag for many reasons.. but oh wells.. it just felt so different to be returning seniors and to be the organising comm... coz returning seniors do not have to endure through those sleepless nights.. all the crap and stress from the crowd, the admin and whatever else.. well, the rag and flag treasurer, huiching, finally understood what i meant by 'all the crap' just before the announcement of the results.. but anyways, great job done gal!! now, pass the baton on!!

being part of the 'score table', there were much emotions there.. just ask fayeth, she can tell you why... but oh wells.. and because of that, some stuff will become politically incorrect but i shall not go into it yah?? hmm.. if there's anything i wanna bitch about, it's the way manpower was utilised.. some folks were practically overworked while some were more than underworked.. hanging around and just.. hang around.. and goodness gracious, if you are helping out in the vvip area, please be properly attired!! *faints*..

the irony of it all was how i promised not to return to help out with rag.. and guess what?? i did, together with much of my rag comm 04.. oh man, i love those folks so much.. just to think that a year ago, we were the one running through sleepless nights, sandmodelling at 3am on the track, making stupid cheers for each other, picking confetti on the grass till we fell asleep on the red carpet that nathan walked on... and now, we are the returning seniors, helping out but feeling a little disgusted at what we saw as well.. and for once, our 'projector director', mr kelvin tang could sit comfortably in his chair throughout the whole event, without having to jump up at any one point of time... yeah, cheerios to rag comm 04!! and this year, majority of us brought our cameras to make up for all the lost photos from last year.. those of you with photos, please upload yah!!! unfortunately, i was unable to join them for a free lunch session at the new uni hall coz had to rush off to church.. salt & huiying defied all traffic rules to send me off.. gonna miss you all loads but chills, i'll be back in nus to disturb you all.. and for huiying, we'll be doing lunch at raffles place yah??

much to say but not sure how to phrase it well.. but for the very first time, i actually felt sad when guys cry.. i was really upset when i saw vader cried.. there's much i wanna say to him but i dunno how to say it and i can't as well.. but dude, you guys really did really really well.. it was really one of the better ones already.. hmm.. shall drop ya a note before i fly off coz i really have no idea what to say here.. be a changed man and come to class yah?? shall see you in school!!!

to da man: my friend and me felt that you all have acheived what you all have set out for.. it's disappointing but like you said, winning will be a bonus... and really, you guys did really well.. catch ya soon and cheer up yah?? =P

doreen's 21st birthday

gave angeline's a miss coz all my events of the day just overlapped each other totally.. was late for doreen's one and went with an aching waist and hurting toes.. boohoo!!! peijia went with bruises from cheerleading practices but the performance at rag was good.. well done gal!!!

had a great time catching up with my classmates, especially since i'm not going back to school.. as much as i don't wanna admit but i realised that, i really do miss my class.. nagging at them and being the greatest loadshark around.. think i was too tired so was really talking rubbish and being really lame.. xingyi called that PES: pre-exchange syndrome... right!! oh yes, finally saw jianz, who came like closed to 10pm, right after doreen has cut her cake.. peijia did a calculation of my intended guest list and all she could do was, SIGH!!! it's just too long.. humph!! doreen was like, you must have a party, so we can have your mum's curry chicken again!! right... here's a shot of the birthday girl and her really pretty cake!!! happy 21st birthday!!! =)


on a sidenote: i went down to queensway shopping centre this evening.. the crowd totally turned me off.. loads of things i wanna buy but pretty much deemed as 'unnecessary and not required'... plus money has been flowing out like water.. so quite stuck.. hmm, shall go think of its relevance before forking the money out..

meaningless!! meaningless!!

perhaps i'm really chasing after the wind.. clinging on to what that is not even there at all... if anything, please show me something.. i'm starting lose any hope that i may even have.. then again, it may have just be my own illusion all this while and now the fog is clearing and everything is coming into the light.. i can't even hide..

yet another day.. week gone by..

still using my dad's notebook though i have just placed orders for my own.. went back to school on thursday to go buy my notebook at matric fair... got daniel to 'smuggle' me into the fair, made a heck load of noise to convince the ibm sales person to allow me to purchase the notebook... goodness!!! i just feel so much poorer now.. and the best part, i was that close in purchasing an ibook but... oh wells...

went down to nussu sec and met up with the present rag and flag comm treasurer... hmm, much memories returned and was trying to retrace my method of calculating last year's financial statements... gonna go back to school next thursday to help out with the calculation of the statements and on saturday for score tabulation.. lookng forward to meet the rest of my rag comm.. erm, whoever that will be going down but kel & luyee will be there!! can't wait..

gave cell a miss for 2 weeks in a row coz of work.. there's just so much.. still trying to get used to it and trying to work as fast as possible coz of datelines and all.. but yesterday evening, i ended up at lau pa sat and eventually brewerkz with liwei and weiyao after ot!!! haven't seen these guys since may.. goodness!! and meanwhile, liwei has jetsetted to down under and now, in thailand.. HUMPH!!! weiyao is stuck in the lab doing his urops research.. stressed man!!! anyway, it has been half a year since i last went to brewerkz.. but this time round, i did not drink... i realised that i don't exactly have great affinity for beer, even if it is erdinger.. i don't exactly mind the initial and the intermediate taste of beer but i really dislike the aftertaste... shall stick to cocktails if anything... but i had nachos!! the cheese and tomato sauce were good but it wasn't sufficient!!! a whole chunk of my nachos had nothing on it... goodness!! so plain and normal.. and yes, i got home at 1am.. it's been a long time since i got back home so late.. naughty girl!!!

anyways, it was a great time of catching up and talking rubbish all over again.. miss these folks, especially since i'm flying off soon and gonna be back even before they fly over for the summer semester.. no wonders why they are trying so hard to convince me to extend my sep duration.. and yes, where is the money gonna come from??

watching 'the legend of bagger vance' and blogging at the same time.. the movie is still going on but this is what i learnt about 'how drunk is drunk' at the beginning of the movie..

"firstly, all the unhappy and sad cells are killed so you start getting really happy.. and then, all the quiet cells are killed so you start getting really crazy and start talking so loudly.. and the final ones to go are the memory cells and they are the hardest ones to get rid of.."

goodness knows how true the statement is but am suffering a terrible calf muscle cramp now.. believed that it's due to insufficient stretching earlier this afternoon.. but oh wells, shall go continue watching my movie and pray that the battery of this notebook actually lasts..

splattered all over..

feeling really tired from work but still not asleep.. stupid move but who cares?? my logic is as long as i don't collapse during working hours.. no biggies.. but yet i can feel my head swamping up soon...

desktop died again.. using dad's notebook till i get mine.. spending future money again.. no idea how to compensate all the credits since debits are almost close to zero.. oh sheesh, too much rap 7.. i'm even talking like one of it now...

been having really terrible moods lately.. and some folks may have had much crap from me.. so sorry folks.. lately been a roller coaster, just that the ride is still at the bottom of the loop.. literally no momentum is swinging me back up the loop.. but what the heck.. to certain extent, work helps me to escape from it all.. even hiding behind the bush doesn't work anymore.. seems like the bush is too small to contain my size.. but guess i'm controlling myself a little better.. if i had told anyone about anything a few days back, i am seriously convinced that i'll end up crying..

terrible post with parts of my brain splattered all over it.. picturing the to-do list at work.. waiting to administer the ticks to the check-list..

ich bin KO!!!

haven't felt so tired for such a long time to come.. i'm beginning to suspect that i'm actually running on energy reserve now.. did the most unlikely thing that i will do for a long time to come: fall asleep on the couch while watching television in the afternoon!!! oh wells.. and the sun went into hiding after 12nn.. it was so depressing coz the rain came back.. and thus so, my msn nick stays as, ain't no sunshine...

spent the entire morning and early afternoon in church... preparing for seeker's service.. and it really freaked the heck out of us when we heard a loud crack in qihui's ankle.. sheesh!! but thanks be to God, all is well and it's just a friction between knuckles, however care should still be taken..

procrastinate and procrastinated, i did not go to work in the end.. felt so stoned out after leaving church.. man!! and i realised how interesting the television looked actually.. by the way, desktop died again so here i am on my dad's notebook... i want my own too!!! banking on the guys to get all the application forms for me during matric fair.. sheesh!! matriculation was exactly 2 years ago!!!!

just realised that school is starting soon coz everyone is making noise over the CORS system, what modules to take and so on... and i just remembered that ntu is starting school this coming monday.. sheesh!!! hmm and then it will be nus, then smu.. crap, how to meet up with people at this rate?? by the way, saw mingui at ginza this afternoon then i suddenly realised that i've not seen him for like goodness knows how long.. and i met weiliang too at clementi central and that boy's hair has turned black!! thanks to the wonders of saf.. saw some other people too.. people from a not too long ago part of my life.. hesitated about striking a conversation with them, which i didn't eventually.. hmm, shall hide behind the bush for the period of time till further notice..

anyway, xiaojun's home.. yiting will be home in 3 weeks' time.. on a sidenote, can't wait to see meiyan and all during rag again... gonna make sure that i clear work so need not go back on 6th august.. and if lucky enough, jootz may be dancing for science rag!! woohoo!! and if i'm crazy enough, may crash lectures one fine day...

here's my new addition!! it was an impulsive purchase but i have a huge affinity for it!!! man, i was so closed to buying the duck if adeline had not 'violently' objected to it.. anyway, it's purple-blue-white in colour.. but i bought it more for the purple though!!! but due to the lousy lighting, it looked more like blue.. humph!!! and to tie in with today's weather, i shall name it, SUNSHINE... i know that it's really bimbotic and out of point but i bought it to spoil myself too...

went back down to school to get some stuff clarified up.. realised how impulsive i am man!! how dynamic i am as well.. not that it's a good or bad thing but just how crazy i am to just jump right into things, especially at the spur of the moment.. hmm, not sure if i'm making sense here.. the best part of today's visit was that chem eng dept sent me on a road trip to iro, by telling me that it has moved to the new university hall block, while it's actually still located in the old block!!! great!!! wasted some time travelling back to the old uni hall.. sheesh!!! but then, so happened to see the new rag comm 'practising' the laying out of canvas on the track.. it's like so long ago when we did that.. sheesh!!! to think that the exact same thing will be happening again in a few weeks time..

anyway, talking to the right people always get things done.. slow it may be but better than nothing done.. speaking of which, have to try and get used to the speed and the way the germans get things done.. some friends are still hopping mad over waiting.. but chills man!! try kampong and everything else is relative.. but of course, not all things can afford the wait as well.. sheesh!! contradicting myself.. *faints*

great day though.. felt really irresponsible and reckless to just throw everything aside and run off.. but then again, my brain still somehow can't leave work behind.. suddenly enjoy the feeling of just stoning and just slacking... insufficient rest to make me feel recharged but sufficient to last me through at least some time to come..

school is starting soon.. my going-out company will definitely decrease greatly coz all the guys are starting uni and the girls will be resuming school too.. humph!! gonna miss my class, LT5, E5-03-21, arts faculty, macs.. both breakfast, lunch and dinner.. central library, engin bridge, crazy enough but both engin canteen and dept office.. think i shall take time off some other time and go visit my class again!! hmm.. pending..

point of no return..

was thinking of how to title my post and so here it is.. quoting and unquoting my friend's comment.. sounds like phantom of the opera as well.. but there's no underground hideway, no river, no mist, no boat and no music...

well, perhaps more true than not, as of today, i've crossed the point of no return.. i've just been made 1610 bucks poorer but of course, spending future money but where's the money coming from?? i have absolutely no idea except that i did not rob, steal or plunder...

wrote my fair shares of emails for the past few nights and got some replies.. mixed emotions with respect to the replies that i've gotten.. not sure on what to do about them.. just that it brought me back to the point, whether if i should still cling on to whatever hope that is still out there... in many ways, it's as good as trying to capture the wind and keep it in a bag... part of what i've been hoping for to happen has kind of taken place.. well, i should be contented but yet, i'm still clinging on, hoping that something else will occur, especially to my favour.. oh Lord, teach me to be contented or do i not even want to be?

on a lighter note, i ruled the office with angeline in the evening.. gonna miss her when she leaves next friday.. all those hours spent in front of the computer editing and tallying figures and all the take-out sessions from arcade/ caltex house/ 24-hour/ philip street.. and definitely all those times of almost killing each other..

hmm, and i caught a familiar ring tone this morning on my way to work.. the same ring tone which i thought was a transmission back from the forest over the walkie-talkie.. sheesh!! and guess what, an email came in from abang franky this evening!!! oh man!!! so great to hear from him... both he and abang taku will be flying in to nias in a few days time.. man, i miss them loads too.. but ibu saya and abang devin will be flying into singapore in a few days time too!! woohoo!! all that's missing is uncle bernard, who is enjoying himself in LA now... *laughs*...

oh, kelvin called this afternoon and i promised to go back and help with score tabulation on rag day.. hmm.. oh gosh, what have i gotten myself into again!! well, at least, there's the seat near the vip area.. *crossing my fingers*.. i miss rag but guess it's more of the company that i miss..

oh oh!!! here's more about seeker's service.. we're gonna have heart-shaped cookies!!! aunty ammie and company are gonna be involved in the baking but sigh, i can't bake for peanuts.. don't want the kitchen/ pantry to end up in smoke... and we are gonna have fudge express too!!! cool isn't it!!!??? it's like a befriender's cafe... but it's gonna be so cool coz it's over desserts and coffee over any topic.. hmm, shall pop by the dry-run this sunday!!! so excited for the next seeker's service: HOPELESS ROMANTICS!!!

this photo was taken approximately 2 weeks ago from the balcony.. one of the few days when i'm home early!!! woohoo!! feeling a little déjà vu whenever i see this photo... kinds of remind me of that which i saw approximately a year ago, except that it was in another land... well, gonna embark and proceed to that land in less than 3 months but.. hmm..

spent the whole of today zooming from place to place.. from chinatown to bukit timah to orchard then home.. went down with eufo to settle our air tickets.. loads of complications and trouble.. sheesh!! suddenly sep looked like such a turn-off.. but the visit to marks and spenser totally brightened up my day!! oh man, had a shopping spree with florence at the branch down at wheelock place.. helped her to shop for this $80-hamper for some quiz in her school.. goodness!!! i want to be her students too!!! man, think about this: getting marks and spenser's foodies as a prize!!! sheesh!!! I WANT THAT TOO!!! how come we didn't get that sort of thing back in school days????

oh yah, the new harry potter book has just been released this morning at 7.01am.. and borders was having 30% off all paperbacks.. but the catch was that a harry potter book has to be first purchased!! sheesh!! made me happy for that split second!! duh!!! walked around staring at lonely planets but there was no books on germany.. then the paperchase section and i say, i'm gonna go buy more of them from uk.. then florence's favourite section: cooking!! man, i still am more likely to burn the whole house down..

dinner was at swensen's and there was this oldies cd playing in the restaurant.. man, i love the songs!! sheesh, sudden crave for these songs but i'm contented with what i have on my playlist.. =)

12/07/2005

for once, i need not wake up at the unearthly hour of 730am although some of my friends have to wake up much earlier.. slept till 830 before dragging myself off the bed.. had so much 'fun' searching for the german embassy this morning, only to realise that it's opposite where i'm working at.. wendy was like, DIAO!!! but nothing was settled coz i didn't have anything with me to begin with.. and as usual, the germans are well-known for functioning only for few hours and thus office hours are from 9am till 12nn.. so exciting!! imagine the amazing race!!

met yunling for dinner this evening.. so much rubbish and stories to talk and tell about and much shopping to be done but just that both of us are running low on cash.. man, miss her much and had so much fun catching up with her today.. and realised that both of us are mango freaks.. *laughs*.. she showed me her photography works too, which are for her school assignment.. cool!!! keep it up.. hopefully will get to meet up with her before i fly off again..

in need of a sabbath..

never felt so strongly that i really need a sabbath till the week that has just gone by.. finally appreciate what it means to take a sabbath and what sabbath truly is.. man, i really miss the times when we took sabbaths, literally everyday.. sheesh, i miss those days..

spent the afternoon with the crowd at the great singapore sale.. mango and zara literally had clean-out stores, especially zara.. personally, i have a greater affinity for zara than mango but i own more stuff from mango than zara coz of the great difference in prices.. picked up a jacket from mango, which is gonna accompany me through fall.. and actually the only stuff which i really love from my shopping trip today, though it's unfortunately pink again.. other stuffs were either out of stock or had inconvenient washing instructions.. oh wells..

in many ways, need a break desperately.. i need the sun, the sand and the sea, minus all the tankers and oil containers stationed at pulau bukom.. and my sanity as well..

suddenly, i want to fly away again..

a bout of déjà vu

haven't been back to nus for a little more than 2 months.. dropped by yesterday to go spy on the pageant dance rehearsal but actually more to drop by eusoff hall to check on the union camp people.. but guess what?? i called a tat too late and salt told me that they were leaving for dinner already.. i miss meiyan, salt, huiying, kelvin tang, faith, luyee and all those rag people.. oh man, to my rag comm people, you won't believe who i saw on the bus today.. i met one of our 4 heavenly kings but specifically, the one from kent ridge.. and he's still helping out with rag back in hall!! oh sheesh.. to think that rag is now an affair dated a year ago..

on my way home this evening, had the privilege of the window seat on the bus and had the wonders of the evening sun shining down on me... accompanied by chayanne's yo te amo.. it totally brought back the exact feelings dated a year ago as well.. in many ways, i'm looking forward to experiencing it all over again and fly away.. yet i feel as though my wings have been clipped.. the sun on one's back, the wind in one's face.. perhaps even running down the streets late in the night, with cold air rushing into one's lungs..

went for renaissance at sji this evening.. as usual, without fail, any school event will end with the school song.. and then, there will be school cheers and whatever else.. reminded me of the days back in ac.. orientation, sports' season, june camp and so on.. can still remember how alvin and leonard actually banned me from teaching cheers during orientation coz i have already lost my voice but how could you do that to a councillor?? it felt so familiar, yet so foreign when i heard the sji boys cheering.. can't remember the cheers anymore, but if you leave me with everyone else on the rugby field at police academy, perhaps everything will come back..

if there's anything i realised about myself.. i learnt that i cling on to memories really tightly, whether they are beautiful or ugly.. so much for professing about moving on and telling others to not let the past kill them..

irony of the day: i have loads of rough paper with me.. at work, they are the misprinted copies of portia and journals.. at home, they are the misprinted copies of readings, lab reports and even pdc assignments.. sheesh!!! can't remember which faculty i'm from any more..

gempa..

Magnitude 6.7 - NIAS REGION, INDONESIA
2005 July 5 08:52:04 (nias time)

what a subject to blog about, pretty much a taboo for me still.. feeling quite spaced out now, don't ask me why coz i can't explain it too... so much for getting used to it, guess i really did not get used to it at all... even back home in the land of comfort, every jottling of my table will sent me on any alert to get ready to run out of the building.. this will definitely work better than having a fire evacuation drill..

ndp rehearsal 05

stupid ndp rehearsal!!! never have i ever had anything against ndp but now i do.. coz when it's the rehearsal, all traffic around the entire area comes to a standstill.. roads are closed everywhere, all the way from nicoll highway to st. andrew's road.. sheesh!!! but why am i so negative about it?? coz the buses do not come and do not stop at the stops which i want to alight at!! i had to walk all the way to lau pa sat to get a bus home!!! humph!!!

met amelia for lunch at suntec city and due to the closing of the roads, i was stuck in the middle of nowhere.. literally!!! neither in raffles city nor at city hall.. and with a terrible crowd that strolls around.. sheesh, i wished i had wings and could fly!!! otherwise, i'll have to learn the art of zooming really fast in the crowd.. man, that's an art!!!

anyways, if there's anything i really do like about raffles city area, it's singapore river.. i know how unnatural the river is and how concrete it looks but hey, i love it for its peace and quietness especially in the evening, when the crowd is gone.. man, just watching the sun shining on it and the water reflecting the light.. can't explain it but i just love it..

oh oh, sehr spannend!!! if i'm not wrong, the team that is representing madrid at the ioc on monday is actually staying at fullerton hotel!! spannend!!! and then, there's a sudden flood of caucasians on the streets..

quoting mr. designer, ".....when I took my nightly walks in the streets of the city. At 9pm the city comes to a standstill. The streets are almost empty, and the cool breezy wind made the strolls fairly pleasurable. Just me and my discman against the world. Trust me, after having spent the entire day with the family I needed some downtime. Alone..."

hmm.. looking forward to the day when i can do this once again..

pleasant day..

and it was so... just before i was to turn into a stone, i bumped into faith at g2000.. and yes, the boring engineer-wannabe loves stuff from g2000/ mango/ zara/ iora.. oh man!!! haven't seen her since big walk 2005 and she finally decided to turn to the 'dark side' and dyed her hair completely black!! too black!!! *laughs*... and rebonded it too.. beats mine, sticking out in all directions..

the biggest irony of all?? faith's working at this recruitment agency which deals with engineers.. hmm.. and i am dealing with accounts!!! right, the bizad student's dealing with engineers and the engineering student's dealing with accounts... sounds like the perfect pair of misfits around..

but it was great meeting her and knowing that she works nearby!! yahoo.. my newfound lunchtime buddy.. *the crows are calling*.. went shopping after work but the service at this particular shop was so bad, it really turned the both of us off...

at the same time, yours truly is ballooning up and taking up more space around the house and everywhere else.. just feasted on loads of food, including cherries.. been having too much déjà vu these few days.. from a kid, whom i did not know but said goodbye to me.. to eating cherries in the month of june.. too much déjà vu result in too much thoughts.. too much for a small brain of mine to handle.. let me just fly away..

anyway, i will definitely be around for my own 21st!!! most likely will be flying off a week after i turn 21.. checking out my flights now.. so much loose-ends to tie but nothing seems to be progressing.. too used to the way of life?? pun intended.. but beats me..

1st week home..

home for more than a week.. close to 2 weeks actually.. met up with some people along the way including nenek!!! had much fun catching up and all.. loads of stuff but too much to type it all out.. had a few surprises here and there to spice up my week, including letters from afar..

having my own personal debrief session with aunty kie liang but only through with session 1.. erm, yours truly can't exactly sort out her thoughts and her brain, so someone has to help her in doing so, else she will get lost inside her own brain.. will update on that when she's done with everything..

today's sermon was good though i was there for only 3/4 of it.. rev thomas preached about the story of david and goliath.. how the world always see the problem as 'not quite easily done' and how goliath fills the whole picture but david saw the picture with God in it and in doing so, the problem is actually 'quite easily done'.. and that God is still in control and the battle is His, not ours.. hmm, felt that this message was really timely but shall explain its significance another time..

the coincidence of it all, was the card which eunice wrote to me before i left.. it had the exact same word on it: God is in control. Our Lord God Almighty reigns. Revelation 19:6

went with allison for her students' violin recital this afternoon at victoria concert hall.. but we're a little too late and missed her students' performances but at least we got to meet them.. the kids are so adorable.. oh man, believe it or not?? they are from the same kindergarten as me!!! the 2nd 'oh man' goes to the fact that pacific coffee at citylink has closed down.. oh man!!! gone for too long.. sheesh, we ended up at the pacific coffee at one raffles link and we got the couch seats!!! had a great time catching up and just talking through and all.. but once again, shall explain its significance another time..

on a sidenote: the school holidays are over!!! took me a while to realise that it was the holidays but then again, now that the holidays are over, the kids will be back in school.. the streets will be less congested on weekdays!! woohoo!!

back from nias, indonesia

a long overdued post and yes, i'm home... much to my own surprise and everything else, i'm back from being kampong girl and now trying to get back into life as a city girl...



'and the Lord saw that it was good...'

indeed, the Lord has been faithful through the 24 days that i spent in indonesia, be it in medan or in nias, His protecting hand has been upon me all these while... through the flight to medan, the 9-hour road trip to sibolga, the 10-hour overnight ferry ride to nias, the time spent at the orphanage, at the beach, at the back of the pick-up, during the land survey to sifalate hulu, throughout all the tremors and quakes and many many more... the Lord has been faithful..

before i left, i wrote about my search for something, which i have no idea what.. well, i still don't know what i am searching for but one thing is for sure, i will not give up on children ministry.. that practically summarised my whole trip... i did nothing but just stone everyday with the kids, though they don't understand a single thing that i said, but being able to sit around with them was more than sufficient for me..

this trip was exceptionally special and significant to me coz it's my first trip and my first time to nias... well, there's definitely a lot of apprehension involved coz i'm not going with people from lcor.. instead, the team that i went with was one comprising of 2 lutherans but not from the same church, an anglican and 2 indonesians.. guess that it was the mix that made this whole trip as it was... uncle bernard was truly the uncle of our group and the kids called him pak 'long' coz he was over 6-feet.. hweelin was offically branded nenek and she really took care of all that she could take care of during her stay in nias.. on a sidenote, hweelin's name did not register with taku but the name 'nenek' did.. shirleen became ibu saya and she really took care of me, including cooking for yours truly.. devin is forever the abang who, i guessed, caused a flood when he left and was ever popular amongst the girls.. 2 other people who made this trip really memorable were abang franky and abang taku.. kudos to them for taking care of 3 big kids while the adults were away... these are the folks who have seen me in my worse states.. and i'm not gonna tell you what they are...

in many ways, i experienced almost all possible forms of emotion during this trip.. from sheer joy and laughter to fear and anticipation to tears of sadness and farewell.. the joy of playing with the kids or just watching them play amongst themselves, the simplicity that they derive out of each thing that they do.. the way the older kids took care of the younger ones.. in many ways, i can never forget the way tõrõ took care of tuti, even though she's not his sister.. it's the almost fatherly love that he showers her with that left a really deep impression on me.. well, this was evident in many of the older kids as well.. or just watching them throw water at each other coz of birthday cheers and eventually on me as well.. and the joys of miscommunication that resulted in much laughter amongst ourselves and with the kids as well.. the fear of earthquakes and tremors.. for once, geography came to life and boy, it was scary.. i honestly confessed that the quake got to me pretty bad coz of the psychological aftershock that it left within me.. but it seemed like when it's only us who were panicking, life goes on as usual for the rest of the town.. subsequently, i actually slept through a few quakes and tremors.. and for once, i truly fear death.. and no, my life did not flash before my very eyes but the thought of not seeing loved ones anymore was really traumatising.. the next thought was the urgency of which the good news should be spread coz i suddenly realised there ain't much time left... the tears involved, ranging from the passing on of a girl to the pain experienced by evi and mei.. to sending off uncle bernard, nenek, abang franky and abang taku.. and finally to my own goodbye.. no kid was allowed to send me off coz the pick-up was required for the trip to soroma’asi, which might be a good thing coz i think i might end up flooding the whole benaka.. well, in many ways, words can't express what i truly felt at each point of time during this whole trip so to cut the long story short, the above summarised all about my emotions..

back to the people.. shirleen and devin really made a difference to my trip.. not only did i get to experience the singaporean's point of view, they gave me an insight to the indonesian's point of view, which was truly valuable because they spoke the language and could really relate to the people, as compared to one who sat by the door blowing bubbles and went around shouting 'tidak tidak'... sadly enough, many of these kids do not know who they are worshipping but just some god up there in the sky.. many of them have not experienced the Lord personally and it's pretty worrying coz they are just meer followers.. honestly, many times i wished that i could talk with the kids at that level and understand them better but due to my language handicap, more often than not, the kids had to attempt to speak to me in english, thus conversation usually remained superficial and minimal.. kudos to the two of them, especially in the commitment they put into conducting daily bible study sessions with the older kids and also in leading the word in both the morning and the evening devotions.. and definitely in many of our own private amusement sessions, ranging from laundry sessions to the checking of terms in a dictionary when deciphering a receipe to the amount of water that should be added when cooking rice.. and not forgetting, the encouragement that they have given me and even motorbiking their way to benaka to send me off.. thanks loads folks!! missing you both already..

and of course, there's abang franky and abang taku.. for one whole week, after hweelin and uncle bernard left, i was left in the house with 4 other people, of which, all spoke bahasa indonesia except me.. so no prizes for coming to a conclusion that there was actually quite a bit of miscommunication but we all laughed it off, at my expense.. but chills!! i really love the times when abang franky would play the guitar or electronic piano and the kids would be singing away.. honestly, individually, these kids do not have really smooth voices, but when you put them together, they compliment each other so well and boy, it was more than beautiful!!! man, i wished i had my mp3 player with me that very moment so i could record their singing.. at moments like these, i really wished that i knew bahasa indonesia and that i know how to play the guitar.. music really brings everyone together.. and abang franky is ever my earthquake warning system.. of course, there's also abang taku.. apart from the fact that he's japanese, what really stood out was his love for the kids.. once again, words can't express what i want to say here.. but in these 2 grown-ups, i saw the love that they have for the kids..

in many ways, my trip has been longer than many others who have been to nias.. i went from the point of being a tourist to missing home and finally to fitting in.. a little too well such that no one actually recognised me amongst the kids.. but when i looked back, i wondered if i've been a blessing to the kids or more of they blessing me.. there are many lessons learnt, of myself, of the people around me, of singaporeans in general..

of all the songs that we have sung, this one probably summarised the whole trip.. our team went over to nias without any structure so that kind of threw me off course in the beginning coz i'm honestly not used to life operating without structure and at a pace 90% slower than that at home.. this song was kindly brought to us by uncle bernard one night, just before we all fell asleep.. 'i don't know about tomorrow, i only live from day to day..' indeed, who knows about tomorrow.. who knows if we will be standing here talking to each other still when tomorrow comes.. devin mentioned about the significance of 'carpe diem' and i guess the phrase has found its significance during this trip, that is to seize the day for the Lord..

i remembered how i once mentioned that, i don't think i will be going back to this island because i just feel so detached from this whole trip and all.. but guess what, over the course of 3 weeks, we have decided that in 5 or 10 years time, our team will return with our families and devin will be our team leader.. but what's more amazing was that somehow, i promised the kids that i'll be back in 2 years' time.. it's just a little surprising at how the Lord has worked within me..

to read more about the work of the present singaporean team in nias, check out OMO.. there are bits and pieces of stuff blogged by both devin and me during our stay in nias as well..



on another sidenote, here's to the kids:

evi - my newfound sister, who is now resting at pak tobing's place in medan.. though you will not get to read this, you are dearly missed and i'm glad that i could go visit you before coming home.. you are really joy and made me really feel welcomed in nias.. perhaps if you didn't come up to me on the very first night, i may not be who i am now during my stay in nias.. thanks loads dear..

eci - my 'cuci piring' girl.. this dear girl has been faithfully helping me wash dishes after each meal ever since the first day i got there.. thank you very much and i really enjoyed the times we spent trying to learn chinese together..

kristina - you are really a joy.. i really admired your guitar playing skills and all the times you tried to speak to me in english, just to help me understand the conversation.. and definitely during the 'di siram' session, you fielded a pill of water for me..

seber - you are another one that took so much joy in learning chinese and i really enjoyed the times with you all.. you and eci are really sweet in helping me with the dishes after each meal and definitely when i went to the kitchen for more food..

time - thanks loads for your letter.. and yes, you are my sister.. you are another that took much joy in learning chinese and trying to speak to me in english too.. there's much that i want to tell you, but shall leave that all in the letter..

ge'e - you were one of those who went with me to the beach and i really had much fun.. i had much fun singing with you all and preparing for the soroma’asi trip though i did not get to go for it.. can never forget your puppetting skills at afia, you were great and i was so close to kidnap both you and tuho home..

rostami - thanks for the bracelet and bookmark.. i really love them and thanks for talking to me in english too.. really enjoyed those singing sessions too.. loads to say but can't get them out onto the page..

ester - you are a much stronger girl than you think you are.. and just wanna say a big word for all the fun and all.. and man, i really love the way you folks harmonised 'jadilah seperti yang kau ingini'..

dian - can't say enough thanks when you repeated the song that night during devotion, it was really nice.. and of course, the times when we sat there singing together while abang franky played the guitar..

elifati - you are the only person who spoke bahasa german with me.. and gosh, your pronounciation is much better than mine.. thanks loads for picking us up at the harbour at sibolga and accompanying us on the ferry ride.. there's much to be said to you so shall leave that in my bahasa english note..

tuho - to begin with, thanks for picking us up at the harbour at sibloga with elifati.. there's much which i admire about you and really had much fun and memories with you.. from the times of playing animal chess, to doing children's program at afia, to the beach outing and site survey, to learning how to sing 'dalam yesus kita bersaudara' in bahasa nias, to teaching you all to sing in chinese and definitely, 'di siram'..

seruan - your name is truly special.. and i was a little surprised to learn of the english meaning.. but you are far from what it means.. had much fun with you and you are one of those whom i dearly missed as well.. didn't get to spend much time with you but thanks for all..

tõrõ - you are one boy that i'm pretty impressed with coz you played pick-up sticks better than the girls.. malu arh!!! but i was more drawn to the way you took care of the younger ones, especially tuti..

dina, alfin, albar, mei, mega, fajar, nope, sonia, leni, yulisa, arusli, julius, syukurman, february, nani, ampuni, asinia, marina, murni, yulis, manaraja, imelda, kasih, herman, paulus, sederlin, seberlina, tuti, leo, amatuti, dirikan, dominikus, sentosa, filihati and to the many whose name i have forgotten or still do not know - thank you very much for all that you all have done.. don't ever think that you all will ever get to read what is written here but it was really an experience to be there with all of you.. i was definitely and still am blessed by each and every one of you, be it from the craft or just sitting around with you all, even in silence.. thanks for all the memories and i really miss you all... really hope to be able to keep in contact with you all and to see you all when i return.. God bless you all, just as you continue to bless the people around you..

the phantom blogger

i'm the phantom blogger.. here to reveal this girl's deepest... darkest... secrets...

no.... the girl in question is not back from indonesia yet.... but i think she will be back in one piece soon enough...

this phantom blogger's appearance... should be seriously one-off.. since phantom blogger is going off on holiday soon too..... and will be back only days before the girl comes back from indonesia....

so.. i shall try to reveal most of her secrets here.... hmmm.. let's see. where shall i start?

she..... is ditzy, crazy and nuts.... on the outside... but you should see her in her moments of sanity.... you see the serious side of her.... the one she possibly doesn't show much of.. hahahah:P

she always seems to be busy busy busy... a ton of things to do.. a ton of pple to meet.. the social butterfly who flits here and there... heehee... hmmm.... she IS really like that in reality.. going out with her is a non stop standing at one side and smiling event... cos she's always bumping into someone from sch or from church or from... i also dunno where.. heee

she's CRAZY about the colours purple and maroon .... all my birthday gifts to her coincide with those colours.. hee

ok.. so i'm not telling you things you pple won't already know.. but if i revealed her secrets.. like.......... how she's hmm.. enthralled by... SOMEONE... [ok.. i shall save myself and say jacky cheung here].. hahahah..... this phantom blogger will die upon the girl's return to this garden city called Singapore.. heeheee

anyway pple.. pls pray for the girl... yes the girl in question IS the owner of the blog.. heehee.... and pray that the Lord keeps her and her friends safe and that they all return home safely...

she'll be back before you know it...

signing off.... the phantom blogger :P