blessed...

today went passed me like some whirlwind.. with huge winds sweeping passed me, it's already nightfall.. and yes, i am still stuck on my stupid tutorials and not to mention, another stupid geog essay, which is due on friday and another, the following friday.. and yes, the week to come is one heck of buzzing around.. well, not in the academic sense but the social sense..

today was actually a pretty good day, considering that i did what i really love doing.. act stupid and silly.. but boy, i just feel so tired after that.. see, i always have this logic of resting and conserving energy the night before, so i won't feel that tired after the whole event.. but i came home yesterday night, without knowing that it was 1130pm already... so smart right?? and yes, i fell asleep in front of the com... waste of electricity!!!

met huiling in the afternoon to work on our geog essay.. goodness, it's in times like these that i think of miss wong.. all her crazy tactics and weird sense of humour... back then, it was really nerve-wrecking but now, it brings me the laughters.. can still remember how she was complaining about being unable to retire... goodness... and who can forget all her great adventures of chasing earthquakes and tsunamis and what other natural disasters... oh man, as much as i don't want to admit, i miss miss wong!!! and how she used to scold us in class and wanted to treat us to 'pipsi-cola'... sigh!! those were the days...

hmm.. just a tot that came up a few moments ago.. i really wonder, how can someone's attitude towards another change with a snap of the fingers... and it's not as though the other party did something terrible or whatever sorts to the other, but it just happened like that.. *faints*... i wonder what run through the brain of the first person... i mean like, what in the world did the other party do wrong?? and in the process, wreck and lose the friendship... i really don't know what to say, but it's such a great pity.. on how friends come to this stage of being strangers.. oh wells, the complexity of one's brain and emotions... sheesh, i wish i can understand it man!!! then maybe things won't be like this... sehr schade!!! ganz schlimm!!!

hmm, don't want to let issues like these get to me... even though friends mean a lot to me.. but He has blessed me with even more faithful and constant friends than i need.. He has given me friends that have gone through childhood days, teenage blues and now, school days... friends that have been with me through the tough times and the happy times.. from the moment i accidentally sat on her finger to those from the weirdest situations... no matter what, He has blessed me loads.. and has been the constant for me too!!! when i am faithless, He is faithful...

and yes, He has blessed me with the best i could ever ask for... a crowd of more than 30, whom i really love loads and am nuts over... and no matter how tired i am, they always bring up my spirits.. even if i have to act stupid and silly!!! think i better go start on ess... else it will be another session of 'i-don't-know-what's-happening'!!!! sigh... i feel so blessed!!!

hmm.. the state of my brain now.. feels like it's an area of junk inside there... debris and rubbish all should just go right into my head.. except that i'm not part of the national environment agency... =)

childhood dreams vs. parents..

seems like a really long time ago... actually approximately 8 years ago... anyway, on my way home, i saw a mother who was staring at this booklet titled 'choice of secondary schools'... think she was trying to decide which schools to choose for her daughter, who was seated next to her but was looking out of the bus window, oblivious to what her mum was doing...

my lab partner plays volleyball and he's going to represent singapore in some international match in december... he's pretty stressed and tired now, with school, training, hall... and he said this, i'm trying to find a balance between doing what i really like and doing what my parents want me to do...

once was having a discussion with 'prof tan' about how we are living up to the expectations of parents and this was all he said, it's true that you need to answer to your parents but at the end of the day, it is you yourself that you have to answer to..

sometimes parents tell us that, there is a limit to how much they can offer us, and the rest is entirely up to us... but honestly, many of us still live, trying to fulfill the expectations set for us by them... it's really weird, how they always tell us that, at the end of the day, we have to answer to ourselves and have to take care of our futures, yet subconciously, the opinions of our parents still matter a lot.. is it coz they have gone through more than we did?? or is it coz it's safer to stick to the norm, ie. just follow where society is going towards... making decisions out of practicality and nothing out of the extraordinary??

the greatest irony is how we always say, when we become parents, we will not be like how our parents were.. well, admit it, more than half the time, we fall into the trap of following the same parenting style and rules as our own parents.. coz they have 'been there, done that'.. and they definitely know better than us on what to expect and all.. so no matter how much we try to run away from it, there's no way of escaping...

of course, there are also parents who allow their own kids to run their own lives... it has both pros and cons.. and it differs from situation to situation... some parents lose control of their kids... some parents end up having kids that are too independent... some parents have kids who manage to discover and pursue their own dreams...

so what's the conclusion?? as much as we choose to lead a life of independence, we can never skew away from our parents... their opinions will always matter.. practicality and security of the future will eventually influence us into making decisions that tom, dick and harry will make...

oh wells, this is just a verbal diarrhoea of my thoughts on what my lab partner said... not sure if it made any sense... and there's definitely more which i want to say but i shall hold my peace here.. in moments like these, i question my purpose in life.. what's the point of being on earth.. what my goals are... what i want to do with the next 50 years of my life... where will i be then... blah blah blah... maybe it's the 'hitting-20' syndrome... maybe coz i'm too stressed with school now that i'm thinking gibberish... but whatever it is.. i need Him in my life.. i really do... else i really see no purpose in everything... if it won't for His grace, a million and one things could and would have happened and who knows where I would be now... in this long journey ahead, treading a path of the unknown, i need Him to hold my hand and bring me through it all.. i need Him to carry me when i fall, i need Him to walk with me every step of the way... i need Him...

jumble.. jumbled... jump...

schmidt, nusselt and prandtl are messing up my brain now.. i should be spending time with them but i think i need a little break from them.. oh yes, who can forget about their best friend, reynolds too?? he's one heck of a troublesome guy!!!

anyway, had a really busy weekend and a start of the week too... and yes, what a stupid way of starting the day.. well, the story is a little too long to be typed here... oh yes, if there's anything that i must say, it's about my ss lecturer... well, he's a really nice guy but he has the best pronunciation and spelling ever... a little bit worse than my engin lecturers.. for instant, earthquakes are spelt as 'earthquicks'... okay, i shan't be evil anymore.. ss always make me sleep though.. or is it coz i have a really long weekend, that's why i'm so tired??

oh yes, met chiu weng today in the engin canteen... yup, i was having lunch while he was lucky enough to be off from class early... anyway, didn't exactly had a good start this morning but with all the crap that comes out of chiu weng's mouth, well, everything that's bothering me, momentarily vaporised... at least for that moment... rubbish ranging from how i should be frozen for 3000 years to my plot to get rid of chiu weng... guess we are just out to kill each other... but it's really nice to see him around.. as irritating and whatever else.. it helped for that moment.. and he said some stuff which set me thinking a little but not enough to bother me for too long... once again, maybe for that moment but not for long...

hmm... everyone around me seems to be falling in love, if not already in love.. oh man, this is so sweet.. seeing the guys being so sweet to their girlfriends and vice versa... doing silly stuff for each other... and i mean, really silly stuff... but seriously, just feel so happy for all of them... i mean, it's really wonderful to see them happy and all.. of course, it's not always that smooth-sailing... seen those that are really painful and it really hurts.. it hurts so deep that after a while, everything just feels so numb... well, some believe that time will do the trick but it does not always work... oh well, guess we all just crave for that feeling whereby your heart just skips a beat when you see him or her... maybe kah sum's right.. stb should just title this month as 'romancing singapore'... and yes, who needs sdu when everyone is actually doing just fine... *laughs*...

as you can see, thoughts are just flying all over my head... so i'm just putting down what i'm thinking at this moment... i so want to sleep now.. but schmidt and prandtl are still waiting for me to discuss issues with them... oh well, think i shall go look for them then... bis später...

the key is to... listen...

didn't have cell for a while and i really do miss cell... it's really like something that i'll look forward to and it just feels so good to be there every week... and for once, need not bother about school and all...

today's text was on fellowship.. and the word to summarise the entire text is LISTEN.. spend time to just listen to your close friends... not just on a 'hi-bye' basis... not just about catching up but hearing out what bothered them the most.. what issues are more meaningful to them.. can't exactly put everything down in words here...

then cheepeng had this mini-exercise for all of us... pair up and listen to each other... i paired up with deborah... which was a really good thing coz haven't talked to her for a really long time... and it just felt so good to share it all.. debbie was sharing hers too and just felt so encouraged by her sharing.. really... and i'm especially drawn to her screensaver message: work isn't so tough when i'm overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord! try it!

anyway, here's the misfit of the day: joanne, sean & me were at the bus-stop waiting for bus no. 165.. we were just talking away when suddenly we saw the bus... all jo and me did was to scream, while pointing at the bus... sean was like, run!! and yes, we caught the bus... but we were thinking that the people on the bus, must be thinking we are nuts... well, the thought of what happened is still really funny... *laughs*...

in a nutshell...

hmm... for once, decided to come straight home after classes... been a while since i did that... having dinner at 12mn was almost a norm for more than a week... didn't exactly feel like staying in school today though...

in a nutshell, let's just see what happened to me during this week... for starters, i fell over a coffee table while trying to navigate my way in the dark.. have this huge blue-black on my leg now.. and jianz was going on, on how we should never announce such embarrassing issues to others.. wore skirt to school and boy, it was hideous... that's it, enough of skirts... dropped by raffles hall and bumped into jane.. spent some time catching up with her.. complaining everything from rag to hall to studies... skipped part tech lecture again but decided to go for an hour of it, which was a total waste of time as well... met cherie for lunch, which was really great.. attempted to try and study but failed somehow... too much into the socialising rather than the books...

got back the cet, ess and german papers... as usual, ess was a total disaster but a little surprising.. managed to pass cet and german but was way below the average of the class... which is not exactly a very good thing... was telling eunice, how the Lord has always give and take from me... and how i felt that He would take my german instead, considering that cet was pretty surprising too... i know that He is driving at something and i know exactly what He is driving at and He's making me learn... till the day i can let go of it and learn completely, He will still let it happen and make me learn... somehow, i'm slowly coming to terms with the lifestyle of a chem-engin student.. i know it's a little late, considering that i'm already a year 2 student.. and realised that since i'm placed here by Him, and it's definitely not by chance, why not just do what i can to glorify and honour my Creator... a hard fact to swallow and a tough 4-year course.. but He has always provided me with the grace to go through it and surely He will still coz He is faithful while man is not...

tough week with mixed feelings.. not from me but from the people around me... everyone is burning out coz of stress, school, competition, tests, bell curves and what have you... it's pretty scary to see people burning out, breaking down, doing 'sudden' silly stuffs like watching some really morbid serials.. all i can say is that, they need a break... go slack, though no one would actually do that.. go take a walk by the beach, remind yourself of the goodness of life, how we can still find little joys despite all the frenzy around us... idealistic indeed but it's not that difficult a thing to do, it's just a matter of choice.. how much you are willing to let go and go enjoy yourself for once, without any worries... but with the clear knowledge that after this, you will be refreshed enough to continue on... it won't kill to have a break, rather it's a necessity!!! go and take the break if you must...

meanwhile, still trying to pirate the les choristes soundtrack off the internet but it's not exactly working out.. must be some big hint, telling me to stop downloading... hmm, don't exactly mind a kind soul who will sponsor the cd... *laughs*... and yes, more tests next week... and more tutorials and assignments to be done..

les chorites

click here for the website!!! les choristes... jasline's brillient idea but it was a good one... took a break and caught the movie with jas, kaiwei and dan!!! really good french film with really great music and acting... aber sehr schade... das film ist sehr kurz.. es dauert nur 1.75 stunde... really love this show... and really love the company!!! would really love to buy the soundtrack but it was out-of-stock till next week... oh man, why can't the germans make better movies?? *laughs*

words of wisdom..

i've walked more miles than you.. experienced more in life than you.. been there, done that more than you did.. not everything that you work hard and put in the effort for, will always produce results... sometimes, you will get immediate results.. sometimes, you will get results in the long run.. sometimes, you may not even get anything.. so what are you going to do about it?? the important thing is, no matter what, keep on going.. don't stop here...

got these words from a friend of mine... hmm.. maybe age really does make one wiser... what do you all think about it??

it takes more than talent
---- john paul jackson

It takes people with godly character and habits to effectively advance the Kingdom of God. While there are many talented and anointed leaders, those who have a foundation of godly character (moral excellence) will lead more than by their words; they model by their lifestyle in ways that are truly transformational. It is who we are -- more than what we know -- that inspires genuine change in another person's life.

Each of us must decide to take the necessary steps to strengthen our own moral legacy. We must practice what we preach. We must realize that moral excellence can only be built through Bible study, quiet times with God, and a history of making "right choices" -- or what I like to call "hidden victories." Such hidden victories occur when you do the "right" thing -- pay your taxes, tithe, show kindness to your wife and children, bless someone who has hurt you -- even when no one sees you except God. A history of "hidden victories" will insure long-term success in the Kingdom.

4 Components of Godly Character

As I have studied Scripture and meditated on God's view of character, I have concluded that four components provide evidence of godly character: love, integrity, maturity, and an abundance mentality.

1. Love is essential to every ministry. The Apostle Paul wrote: "If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all His mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'Jump,' and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing" (1 Corinthians 13:2, The Message). Throughout God's Kingdom, there have been generations of "gifted nothings" -- people who have done miraculous work but who never truly understood the need for intimacy with God.

2. Integrity is the act of being honest at all times. We must forge a foundation of trust with those whom we are mentoring, equipping, and leading. If we have integrity, our words will be remembered, because others will have seen that our actions match our words. Jesus had the highest level of integrity possible; His disciples knew that Jesus practiced what He preached.

3. Maturity involves sound reasoning and decision-making. When a person has walked through the trials and fires of life, spiritual maturity is developed. God says in Isaiah 48:10, "Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction." This furnace is at full flame when we are off the platform, living our lives away from the public eye. It takes the private testing of God to see a person's character solidify and mature.

4. Abundance mentality sees God as having so much talent and anointing to give that no individual could have it all. The mind-set of abundance is about demonstrating humility -- it's not about us, but about God and His Kingdom. Anything less will breed jealousy. We must have a heart that blesses the gifts others have, knowing that all gifts are given by God to help others and to advance God's Kingdom.

"Only Through Him Can We Help Others Reach Their God-Given Destiny"

God wants us to live today in such a way that will inspire others tomorrow. He has a vantage point of what will be, not just what is, or has been.

Many of us have been content to grasp at slivers of spiritual insights, but the Holy Spirit wants to give us fuller concepts of God and His ways.

We must develop an ever-growing godly character and walk in greater integrity and maturity so that we can understand God's plans and visions for others. The Lord, by helping us practice our private victories, can make our lives a lasting and public contribution to His eternal Kingdom. Only through Him can we help others reach their God-given destiny.

watching the sun set...

that was exactly what i did today... can you believe this?? i actually spent my afternoon in central library, trying to study for my german and cet test.. both on thursday.. how exciting can things get... the best part is, my productivity tended towards zero... oh well, considering that i'm not exactly doing very well in my course, guess i better do something about it... and everyone was like, oh my gosh, you are studying!!!???

anyway, i got this seat next to the window.. which wasn't exactly really exciting coz all you can see is jurong island, which according to my seniors, the sight of it inspires them to study harder... right!!! but it's not working for me... then at about 630pm, yusen asked me to look out of the window.. and there, i saw the large orange sun setting.. it was fast disappearing into the horizon..

hmm, it's been a long time since i last saw the sun set.. back in Deutschland, all i saw was the sky changing from dusk to darkness within a 30-minute interval.. anyway, yusen made a comment that got me thinking: the sun is setting so fast, we must be spinning really fast but we just can't feel it happening beneath us..

i don't think we really want to feel the earth rotating coz it will just mean, we are spinning as well.. which is not a good thing... just marvelled at how wonderful the Lord has created this earth and how He looks into these little details.. making sure that these details are actually taken care of.. and how beautiful His creation is.. i mean, just look at the sun, how it rises from the east and sets in the west.. all the science behind it... of all creation, the Lord made Man the smartest of all beings yet he can't and can never do something like this... no one can fathom His wisdom...

despite the fact that everyone was busy studying and mugging in the library, and i'm supposed to be getting stressed up, i just felt so serene that moment... the sunset served as a little reminder of how God is omnipresent.. a little scary coz it means that He knows exactly what you are doing and thinking about... and everyday, He makes the sun rises and sets at the right time... it's so comforting to know that there is someone who is taking care of everything in the world, including me!!! it just feels so marvellous and wonderful... i am just too in awe...

wishing that i have more time to do this... just enjoying the Lord's creation...

feeling happy [version 3.0.. almost]

had a great time at SOC this evening... to have huiran back with us after the prelims and all.. yahoo!!! oh yes, we were discussing about 'belonging in God's household'... we are called to belong, not just to believe... to serve our Lord and each other too...

oh yes, we celebrated sean's and my birthdays!!! so exciting!! and we got chocolate banana cake from awfully chocolate!!! oh man!!! it's like the ultimate shop i want to visit for chocolate cakes and all.. but the catch, it's all the way in the east!!! but now, i need not travel to the east to even get to eat it!!! it's awfully sinful!!! equivalent to my mudpie from yesterday night!!!!

on the way home, joanne, sean and me actually went to the pasam malam at our place!!! joanne and sean were so drawn by the smells but we were all so bloated from the chocolate cake fiesta, no one exactly wanted to eat any more stuff... oh yes, joanne was so excited over the pasam malam.. we walked through the place and saw interesting stuff like hamtaro, doraemon etc. figurines... some childhood long ago... oh, met augustin and dale too!!! oh man, haven't seen them for ages... miss seeing all these people around and crapping with them...

oh yes... got this message today and once again, it has its ways and means to make me really happy and all!!! "happy belated birthday! haha sorry so late.. one year older, so you are one year closer to your ah-soh dreams.. :-D"

feeling happy [version 2.0]

guess where i went today?? no prizes for getting it right!!! went to nydc at suntec city... yes, suntec again!!! went to suntec 3 times in one week!!! but this time, it's with liwei and weiyao, to celebrate my birthday... but half the time, i just kept getting 'suaned' by the 2 of them!!! oh yes, and how i still cannot watch a RA movie.. not that i want to but movies such as 'goodbye lenin'... stupid german film that has a RA-rating... goodness!!! *humph*...

ate my usuals at nydc... destiny's child... but dessert was not at nydc... we ended up at coffee club express at raffles city shopping centre.. but before we went over, we went to carrefour to shop!! right, we went to carrefour... and lo and behold, 3 bottles erdinger weißbier were going for $19.95... with free schwäbische knusper-brezel and erdinger towel, which liwei is really excited over and all!!! weiyao and me were going on about how the towel was most probably printed in singapore and all... *laughs*...

took a long walk over to raffles city shopping centre... had one whole muddy mud-pie to myself... oh man, it's so sinful!!! i mean, ice cream and chocolate and mudpie... goodness, it's enough to make one faint and i ate it all by myself.. and liwei ate so little.. oh my gosh, i should be so disgusted with my own appetite man!!! oh yes, yingchao and zoe dropped by to pass me one of the items on my wish-list... forget-me-nots!!! that's really nice of them and all!!! oh yes, we visited this really exciting shop... great!! i forgot the name!!! anyway, i was so tempted to just spoil myself and liwei had to stop me from doing so... else would have given in to temptation...

feeling so full and all.. but thank God for that long walk back to suntec, which kind of aided in digestion of all the food swimming in my stomach... but it was a tiring walk since we were all pretty tired and all... talked so much crap and rubbish... nonsense crap that made me feel really silly but happy and all.. really thank God for friends like these 2 guys.. just thinking back, it's really weird how we became such good friends too... it's the wonders of friendship and how God has brought such friends into my life...

had a little talk with my brother on the way home... can't exactly say much here but...
"do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy , and where theives do not break in and steal. for where you treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6: 19-21

once again, thanks loads guys!!! really enjoyed myself.. though we all got so crappy and tired along the way.. coupled with lan game and all!!! right!!! and oh yes, luke is going for his biking competition on sunday too!!! feeling excited for him...

20 years of existence..

ending the 20th year of my existence on earth and starting on my 21st... well, today may be the quietest and most boring birthday ever... but it's one that i really enjoyed loads... no hot dates, no loud parties.. just quietness...

had a really long talk with meine 'mutter' till the wee hours of the night... really nice to be talking to her and all.. can't believe the stuff that we talked and all.. but it was really great to be catching up with her despite all the frenzy in school and all..

anyway, slept most of the day away despite the fact that i have to study.. but everyone's like, it's your birthday, go enjoy yourself first!!! sleep is good... well, at least to me.. and my parents had to wake me up for dinner...

went to crystal jade @ suntec city... had the usuals.. but i really liked dinner... then went to the häagen daaz at esplanade for dessert!!! sehr spannend!!! seriously, you can just faint at the dessert spread there, though it's all ice cream and all.. now you understand why my diet plan will never work out!!! yupz, all in all, it's pure indulgence!! went to the waterfront.. it just kinda felt different though i was there on monday night too.. as usual, i love the lights, the smell of the sea... the little quietness there, despite the fact that there was a cocktail party at harry's...

just thinking through... having lived 20 years now.. what have these years been like? realised that many things won't be how it is if it won't for the people around me.. people who have been with me all the way.. encouraged me through all the down-times.. shared my joy during the up-times... realised how blessed i am.. with my family... and with the friends, be it overseas or back home.. how faithful and wonderful they are...

but most importantly, realised how would life have been, if it won't for one person... my Heavenly Father, my Lord, my Saviour.. realised how desperately i need Him in my life.. despite the many times i try with my own will, with my own earthly wisdom and strength, only to realise that i always fail and end up in the pits... realised that He is the one the truly gives strength to the weak and riches to the poor... i'm actually lost for words here.. i'm just so overwhelmed by His grace and His love.. just wondering, how can anyone love us unconditionally... it's just too good to be true but IT IS!!! isn't that amazing?? 'amazing love, how can it be.. that you my King would die for me..'

i am where i am because of Him... i am here by grace..

"we love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19

double chocolate cookies from häagen daaz.. but it looked totally different from the last round adeline and me had it.. but it's still as awesome.. indulgences!!!!

wish list 2004/2005

- nike track shoes [checked]
- dinner at stammtisch or tamade..
- forget-me-nots & baby-breaths…
- schwarzwälder kirschtorte from hilton hotel…
- olympus digital camera [checked]
- backpack… 60L or more though
- backpacking trip to Europe, which will cost about 5000 bucks!!!
- change my spectacles frame [checked]
- watch ‘mamma-mia’…
- improve deutschsprache…
- brief von meiner gästfamilie
- card from nitya in Nottingham… [checked]
- nokia 6100
- luke & yunling to do well for their exams..
- luke to win his biking competition...
- see all of them grow up... elizabeth, daniel, bernice, grace lee, grace tan, magdalene, isabel, jacob, issac, chloe, celeste, clarence, charlene, samuel, adele, zekiel, joshua, david, marven, martin, maranda, jonathan, nicholas, shoupin, micheal, michelle, glenda, germaine, roshen, emma, zoe-ern... and many more...
- and many more wishes...

feeling happy [version 1.0.. surprise!!!]

just came back about 3 hours ago... from sally's and kurt's place... it was really nice.. i don't exactly know how to say it.. going to keep it short and sweet here... but it's really nice... and they really shocked me...

we had baked baby potatoes for appetiser.. with mayo and spring onions... it's pretty exciting.. reminded me of the baked potatoes back in Deutschland, except that that was with sour cream... sally was telling me how the potatoes have been scrubbed and baked at 220 degrees, so they are bacteria-free... next was the pizza that kurt has been working on since i got there.. and oh my gosh, it was actually my birthday pizza!!! cool right?? with 2 candles and this little card on it!! the pizza has a crust that was flown in from overseas and the fillings, such as chicken bits, pineapples, capsicum, mozeralla cheese... and all are really good.. schmeckt gut!!! sehr spannend!!! oh yes, dessert was mango pudding with real mango bits in there!!! *faints*... think my diet plan will not work out at all..

spent some time catching up with sally and all.. discussing about issues and all.. how the past year has gone by and what i've learnt and all.. that is, if i did learn anything at all.. yupz, if you still don't know, sally has been my mentor for the past 2 years... and there's a lot of things that i really want to tell her and all.. but it's not as easy as it seems to be... lost of words here and some of you will understand why... it's really really nice of both of them... and i'm going to miss them...

oktoberfest..

heute fängt das OKTOBERFEST in München an!!! es dauert für 16 tage bis 3rd oktober 2004!!! schade!!! ich bin jetzt nicht in Deutschland sonst werde ich zu das fest gehen!!! ich habe das bier vermisst!!! jawohl!! erdinger… aber das fest präsentiert von paulaner…hmm, alles schmeckt sehr gut… das wetter, die essen, die stimmung… alles, besonders feste und karnevals!!! ich hoffe, ich kann hin sein aber es ist sehr teuer!!! ein flugschein kostet mehr als $1000… ich habe kein geld!!! schade… sehr schade!!!

dann habe ich auf der zeitung gelesen:
OKTOBERFEST
Binge on Bavarian wheat beer, make merry with your buddies and feat on sausages and pork knuckles at the annual Oktoberfest, billed as the biggest here in five years.
Swiss Club, Swiss Club Road, 10am, Tickets: $15 for child under 12 and $30 for an adult for buffet spread (pay $40 for a booklet of drink coupons)

schade!!!! ich hätte einen sehr beschäftigten tag und wär müde!!! sehr schade!!! es ist nur heute!!! ich möchte erdinger bier von cold storage gourmet kaufen weil ich meine eltern es probieren möchte aber es ist sehr teuer auch!!!

argh!! liwei fliegt nach Deutschland für eine woche!!! ich bin eifersüchtig auf ihn aber… aber… schade!!! hmm.. es ist okay… nächstes jahr…

i'm a believer [funky christian version]

I thought God was nothing but a fairy tale
Good for someone else but not for me
Sin was out to get me, that's the way it seemed
Disappointment shattered all my dreams...

Then I saw His grace, I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I've been changed I'm a believer
Jesus is a walking by my side

I though love was mine just for the taking
But even more I took the less I got
Not afraid of sin now
Jesus broke the chains
Not the more I give the more I'm changed

Then I saw His grace, I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I've been changed I'm a believer
Jesus is a walking by my side

You could fine His grace
Come be a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
You can change
Be a believer Jesus will walk right by your side

mid-autumn festival..

haven't seen them for a really long day... and i finally successful got myself out of the house after much delay and all... met cherie and szemin at es teler 77 for lunch.. ate pretty interesting stuff.. after that, we went to takashimaya to sample the mooncakes and all.. this is the 1st time i've ever put mooncake in my mouth.. well, i know i eat a lot but there's a lot of things that i do not eat as well..

left at about 430pm to go to st. margs for my church's mid-autumn fest.. did a major jaywalk in order to catch my bus and all!!! goodness.. got there just on time... anyway, uncle edwin paired me with joan for this particular game... titled bowling.. yes, i know the name is really boring but it's an amazing game!!!

it's bowling with a twist!!! instead of having the chance of having a bowling ball and pins, you have a coconut [with its juice extracted] and 6 filled mineral water-bottles!!! oh yes, and the starting point varies with age.. the younger you are, the nearer you get to stand towards the 'pins'... the older you are, the further you are... this is so cooL!!! seriously!!! you may say that i'm nuts and all.. but doing games for kids is one of the best things that can happen to you.. indeed it is tiring.. you have to maintain an energy level that is higher than that of the kids.. you have act like a kid and yet to be loud at the same time.. but seriously, it's one of the stuff i really enjoy doing and all...

oh yes, the reward of the game is a character stamp... erm, it's the ones that we used to buy when we are kids.. and we would get so excited over the different types of characters and all.. that's exactly how the kids were feeling today.. daniel kept coming back to our station and was going on about how he will aim at my head instead... isabel assumed the role of picking up the 'pins' and the 'ball' after each throw... *laughs*... had to coax some of the kids.. and teach them how to play and all.. right!!!

and boy, it was hot!!! not just from the prespiration but also from the heat that was radiating from the brick parade square... my goodness!!! after the whole game, joan and me just stood there, trying to feel the breeze on our faces... but it's really minimal.. she was commenting on how people might mistake us as worshipping God... but think that it would be really good thing to do as well!!!

anyway, we finally 'closed shop' at 7pm.. by then, the coconut has suffered pretty severe injuries... jawohl!!! es ist KAPUTT!!! du kannst nicht es noch benutzen!!! yah.. so we must call it quits for the game.. both of us were so tired.. must be all the jumping and running around.. the hype we tried to create for the kids.. gosh, must be the age man!!!

and i've got another children event tomorrow morning.. hmm, i think i better start conserving energy now.. else tomorrow, will bound to lose out to the kids in terms of energy...

so cute right?? this is zoe-ern... oh man, she is just so adorable!!! this is like watching the kids growing up and you yourself, growing old at the same time..

sleepless night

eunice is right about this.. you can't sleep after going to the airport... and no matter how hard you try, that image you saw at the departure gate just can't be erased away...

just came back from youth leaders' meeting too.. my 1st time at the meeting.. previously, can't attend any coz the meetings always clash with my german lessons and whatever else... anyway, it was really an experience there.. whatever that has been said, is filled with honesty and all.. there's no need to hold back anything.. just do it man...

anyway, just want to share about something that has really touched my heart a lot... or rather, it has always been something close to my heart... many times, i really wonder why her, of all people... how we tried time and time again... nick once told me not to give up but just press on... i honestly admit, i almost gave up..

until this year... there i was, at the corner, trying to recover from my own shock, my own disappointment and tears.. she came up from behind and just hugged me... i never told her this, but i was really encouraged by her action... just that simple hug, it really warmed my heart.. that hug really meant a lot to me...

noelle once asked me, given the choice to choose either her or another of my dear gals to mentor, who would you pick?? before i could answer that question, she said this, i know the answer already... and i know she really did... everyone close to me knows how much she matters to me and all...

deborah shared on how much she has changed... how cheery she is and all!!! it really warms my heart... it just made me think back of those times but who cares about that?? she brightens up a lot... and at this rate, she can become my sunshine too!!!really want to thank the Lord for this... it really means a lot to me...

well... bet she will read this some day and just want to tell her this... hey babe, i'm really proud of you.. to see you smiling so much has always been my wish.. sometimes, i really wish i could help you in everything, but God has shown me that i am not able to do so... and to see that you are having so much fun in school, in cell, in church, it really warms my heart and all... and most of all, to see how you have grown over this year, it's really encouraging.. i really want to thank God for 'putting' you in my life!!! hope that the week has gone well for you... and remember that God is ever faithful yah?? meanwhile, don't have too many late nights and do remember to kick some ass when doing project work yah?? thanks for being such a wonderful gal to me... love ya loads!!! oh yes, mafia roxs.. =)

crap!!!

crap... i don't know how to say this exactly... but crap!!!! I FEEL LIKE CRAP TODAY!!!!! i don't know what happening anymore... i don't know what's happening in school, in my life, in everything... it just feels so detached.. so distance... crap!!! this feels totally crap... even trying to be numb to everything, doesn't help anymore... crap, i just don't know at all...

diet..

seriously should do something to my diet.. getting a little too overboard and it's starting to scare me... as all of you should know, i absolutely love eating and especially since i got back from Deutschland, i've been looking out for really exciting food... well, at least exciting in my dictionary... and not to mention that my stomach has grown to the size of a cow... that i can't believe as well, but it's true!!!! this is so embarrassing...

everyone says that i don't look my weight but it's the wonders of fashion!!! i'm so smart!!! erm, i think i better stop before it all gets to my head... but the point is, i should at least work at trying to adjust my weight a little.. towards the part that tends towards zero, not the other end...

so surprised that i actually resisted macs this afternoon, but i came home to my jafa viennese and gummibärchen instead.. which is not exactly a really good thing too... *laughs*... oh man, i'm so going to miss marks and spensers!!! oh no!!!! hmm, shall save that for next year when i go on a spree!!!

made a bet with my friend about our grades and if i lose, i will have to travel to the east to go try all the good stuff over there... oh no, at this rate, i don't think my aspiration towards weight reduction will ever come true!! *laughs*... just ask celia, florence, tim and all from dinner yesterday night...

so full!!!

haven't ate so much for such a long time.. for starters, i had 2 lunches today... one at engin and once again, engin food still taste like crap... and the second one was at arts... which is so much better...

went with my parents for dinner at parkway thai... oh man!!! i fainted at the amount of food... but it all just tasted so good... the best thing?? thai green chicken curry!!!! *phew*... i absolutely love it man.. oh yes, there's basli leaf hot plate beancurd... chicken wings with minced meat stuffings... vermicelli with prawn.. oh man, it's so awesome... well, a little too spicy for me.. but once in a while, all in the name of food...

confession: i have the stomach of a cow...

oh oh, had a visit to marks and spensers too.. oh man!!! sehr spannend!!! bought quite a bit of stuff during this little trip of mine... i don't think you have ever seen someone so excited over buying stuff from marks and spensers... hahha, but there's me!!! =)

fic pd treat!!!!

i can't believe this but i'm still feeling super bloated from dinner...

had our fic pd treat today... but i wasn't there for the debrief coz of deutschunterricht... anyway, we went to holland village for dinner... not that exciting coz we ended up in NYDC... rather, it was the company that made it interesting...

darren disappeared after the debrief... marc/ tammi/ lishan/ elaine/ ken/ liruo/ desmond/ wanling & me occupied and set our weights in NYDC... we had too many menus with us.. * laughs*... it was so weird trying to collect all the menus together... tammi/ lishan/ marc & wanling are on some weird diet.. all they had were desserts and floats... as usual, lishan had to eat something chocolatey but lo and behold, her ice-cream flavours were not available... elaine and me had some mushroom pasta from the oven-baked specialties collection!!! sehr spannend.. mine was called destiny's child!!! ken had some spaghetti, liruo had lasagna... i can't exactly what did desmond eat though... marc commented on how much elaine and me could eat... well, i must say, i can eat more than elaine man!!! anyway, elaine and me shared this really exciting chocolate dessert... cookie monster mudpie!!! oh my gosh, it's just so sinful... but i still prefer that from coffee club express... elaine and me were trying so hard to tempt everyone else but it didn't work...

afterwhich, we actually went to wala-wala for live music!!! *woohoo!!! ben, i finally went to wala-wala!!!!* it's pretty cool.. but the music was just too loud... and the place was filled with smoke!! and it's not exactly a very wise move to go with all your books and all... but see, we came from school so you can't blame us for the mugger-look!!! marc ordered some beer but seriously, after tasting erdinger, everything else just fall flat... anyway, we put in 2 song requests... 'she will be loved' by maroon 5 & 'the reason' by hoobastank... but elaine/ tammi & me did not stay to hear them coz we had to go home... to do assignment... to sleep...

after a while...

after a while, you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
and futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
after a while, you learn..
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong.
and you really have worth.
and you learn and learn...
with every goodbye you learn.

~ Veronica Shoffstall

ein guter tag... except for the snails...

this is really terrible... due to the poor lighting of the area, i nearly stepped on 2 snails... yup, full grown ones.. plus there was a huge crowd there, which made walking even harder!!! reminded me of all those gatherings and parties at alex's place... coz once, i really did squash the really small snails in his garden... it was an accident!!!!

anyway, had a pretty interesting session at cell today... we had invited guests!!! uncle jeam & aunty jean... pastor nick & aunty jasvindar.. both couples to share about their courtship, marriage and life after getting married... pretty good advices here and there.. learnt abt some of their secrets and all.. was pretty amusing.. esp uncle jeam!!! he's so different from that uncle jeam we see on sundays.. telling the kids not to run when walking down the aisle... trying to get people to fill the seats in front... yup, really nice to have them with us today... and he added this last statement for the guys... "if you are in the wrong, say i'm sorry.. but when you are right, just shut up!!" to everything, prayer is important... and hear what the Lord has to say and what He has planned for you..

oh yes, we celebrated joanne's and josh's birthdays too... banana chocolate cake with cookies & cream ice cream!!! spannend arh!!! eunice and me had this big scheme to go collect the cake and the ice cream from the pantry on level 3.. well, joanne thought both of us had stomachache together... *laughs*...

lunch at nus arts canteen... eunice and me had school, while william was on course at engin fac... noelle came to pay us a visit... it was really nice to catch up and all... and of course, eating lunch as well... we ate apple salad, minced-meat meepok, seafood noodle... filling enough to last the whole afternoon through.. yummy..

i told eunice to look happy while taking this photo... and well, we both looked really happy!!! nice right!!!

athens 2004 olympics summer games closing ceremony... well, you can say that i've waited 4 years for the olympics, considering that i missed so much of sydney 2000 but i missed equally much events this year too... and the closing too coz i have school the next day... oh well, till the next summer games... auf wiedersehen...

athens 2004 olympics flags flying high.. pretty pretty!!! i absolutely love the colours... now they are flying in greece, in 4 years time, they will be flying in beijing... and i must go visit both countries too!!!

athens 2004 olympics summer games opening ceremony.. well, this photo is definitely taken with a SLR.. didn't get to watch much of the opening but i did catch bits and pieces here and there...

traumatising issue...

as the van rounded the corner, i saw it lying on the road... i saw a dead pigeon on my way to school... and i was really traumatised!!! this old lady came along to pick up the pigeon.. she said that it's better to remove it else it will stink up the whole place when decomposition sets in... i was too shocked to say anything...

birds belong to the air... they should be flying around, picking foodies from the ground, happily doing their businesses everywhere... not on the ground, lifeless and dead...

another feel-good day...

realised that i'm blogging more and more... goodness, this is not good... hicks!!!

anyway, today was really a feel good day... one more to add to my collection of feel-good days.. had only 2 tutorials today coz my lecturer for particle tech went on a conference leave... saw the cn6 seniors and they were like, what's new!!! so typical of uddin..

well, went for dinner with liwei and weiyao... supposed to go to baden baden at holland village.. but we ended up at stammtisch at 6th ave... and it so totally felt like we were once again back in Deutschland... it's a deutscherestaurant.. alles sind sehr sehr spannend!!! i had chicken schnitzel mit pomme frites und salat... and yes, ich habe meinen salat gegessen!!! fertig!!! while weiyao had pork schnitzel and liwei had pork knuckle, which totally tasted like peking suckling pig... yup, the portions were so huge, liwei could not finish his meal.. well, he did the most authentic thing that any singaporean would do... ta-pao the remaining back to hall...

see, we wanted to go baden baden coz it was having some promotion, whereby the bier was going 1-for-1... but well, wir haben erdinger weißbier getrunken!!! liwei liebt es gerne... and i was happily drinking the foam from the guys' glasses... well, i really love foams... and we were going on about who will get high first and all... *laughs*... and i finally found a bier that i actually liked and all... hmm, it really tasted better than that one i had in freiburg...

got a chance to explore the second level of the restaurant, which is more exciting than the first.. it has a better ambience and it was totally man.. words can't explain how i felt about it... well, then we moved on over to venezia für eisessen... it was pretty late so there ain't much flavours left but we got dark chocolate, mango & hazelnut chocolate.. exciting yah?? we were like making a lot of noise in the shop... making fun of the jcs that we came from and all... it just felt so good to chill and all.. especially in a crazy time like this...

the last stop was actually cold storage gourmet... we saw so much salami and wurst.. but nothing of the authentic ones that we had eaten and all.. actually, for better swedish sausages and all, please visit this shop at wartten heights... anyway, the best part of it is that we saw erdinger bier!!! beide weiß und dunkel!!! of course, liwei was really excited and all.. and yes, he bought 2 bottle of weißbier... with the pork knuckle, he can have a really good supper tonight...

today's dinner was actually to celebrate liwei's birthday... yup, weiyao and me planned the entire thing... and of course, to just hang out and chills... oh yes, weiyao was so bent on singing happy birthday in both stammtisch as well as venezia... liwei was almost hiding under the table... in the end, we didn't sing it at all... think we didn't get high enough to do embarrassing stuff...

"zum Geburtstag viel Glück!!!
zum Geburtstag viel Glück!!!
zum Geburtstag liebe alles...
zum Geburtstag viel Glück!!!"

oh happy day...

don't exactly know what to write in this space here... just felt that today's a pretty happy day.. haven't felt like this for a really long time... it's that sense of just pure joy despite having everything around me spiralling out of control still...

guess it started off with the heat mass transfer lecture... goodness, can you believe it?? i actually liked today's lecture... all because of Hirschfelder's equation... not that i understood what it was actually about but more of the origin of the equation...

left chem engin thermodynamics lecture early to make sure i would not be late for my first deutschtutorium... sigh!! in a way, can't wait for it to start... well, and the best part was that, i found jasmine, my twin whom on somedays will be evil or good... see, we took turns... and sheauling, whom i was supposed to meet up when she came back from her backpacking trip but once again, time has other plans for us... well, 3 freiburgers in the same class!!! it was so nice.. i mean, though there were those darmstadters and münsterers... it just felt so good to have them in the same class and all... that sense of familiarity that we all shared for a month... and to add to it, my class's an all-girl class... sehr spannend!!!

that just so totally made my day.. =)

people...

swinging lesser... so to everyone who is worried, chills... yours truly still surviving here just fine.. must be due to the people i met today...

as usual, luke never fails to cheer me up... i can't describe exactly how it felt.. but i really enjoy hearing all his nonsense... *ah-choo!! i'm allergic to bullshit!!!*... and all those interesting songs that he plays on the computer.. very interesting.. and there's yunling too... she's an angel too!!! a-maths is horrible but it was great trying to remember stuff.. coz we both would be like 'OH!!!! i remember now...' and how koksoon went ahead to buy the backpack without me.. now i need to hunt for a shopping partner for my backpack... hicks!!! and yes, meeting with my long-time friend, sean!!! it's been like a year or so, since i last saw him?? i can't remember as well... been wanting to meet up ever since before i left for Deutschland but time has other plans for us... anyway, had dinner and spent the time catching up.. hicks, was great seeing ya again... great that nus has not gotten to you yet..

many other people too... my dear gal, marjorie... joanne for being usher for a day.. trying on jon jon's shoe, which is far too big for me.. eunice who wore the same colour top as me!!! vincent for all the catching up and all... dorathy for trying to oscillate away from me... oh yes, and trying to trick emma into following me but she was too smart for me to handle... and definitely, my dearest niece, charlene, who i did not get a chance to take care of but she's just so obedient!!! she just sat there while her daddy was away... with the company of bear bear, which i wanted to kidnap home... and many others, which my short-term memory has failed to retain...

anyway, today's the day another of my dear gals turning 16.. well, you know who you are.. just hope that you had a great day today.. whatever it is, don't be stressed and chills yah... at all cost, don't fret but take things as they come... else, got me here!!! cheerios, gal!!! God bless you loads..

a nothing day... coupled with many thoughts...

more than often not, this is what i do everyday.. nothing.. when the whole world is mugging and studying their guts out.. or rushing around like a busy bee.. or running through the jungles, serving out the part of a singaporean guy's green life.. or even better, working... well, everyone seems to be doing something while yours truly.. woke up at an unearthly hour of 12noon and then watched vcd and wasted the whole afternoon away.. can you believe this?? i even watched the semi-finals of the olympics table tennis women's single?? and yes, rooting for li jiawei... then i fell asleep again... i mean, that was my day.. doing nothing... maybe i'm too used to running around doing something, which has absolutely no association with academics.. stuff which i really like...

conflicts.. hate arguing with people... but somehow, that's what i have been doing for the past few days.. i hate this.. i hate having to walk away from it, not resolving it at all.. i hate having to sit and wallow in myself.. especially if you know perfectly well that what the other party said is true, you just want to run away and hide somewhere.. i think even the bushes will do the trick just fine.. or just when you feel so tired, that you don't even want to comment about what has been said, you just take it as your fault and leave it as that...i feel like i'm sinking.. sinking in this really ridiculous pool of myself.. it's like i'm drowning in my own brain, in my own blood, in my own system, in my own silly thoughts and all.. keine ahnung!!! that's what i am having now...

after blogging for about a month, it just suddenly struck me.. what's the point of blogging? well, some say it's an outlet for you to vent and release all your energy.. some say it's just to keep your friends updated about yourself, to make sure that you have not disappeared from the surface of this planet.. like what is it man!!! if it is to just check on your friends, why don't just pick up the phone and call?? but i realised that that is not always possible... the reason being, TIME... something that we all want more of but will never have enough of.. i realised how much can happen in the course of one week, even without you knowing it or realising and so much can happen to the stage whereby, you feel the distance between your friends and yourself... maybe that's why blogging is a good thing?? you keep yourself updated with your friends' lives.. but more than often not, it's just the surface...

don't know why.. but just on thursday, i got hit with this tot.. as crazy & morbid as it seems and as unlikely it will ever happen in this lifetime of mine.. but i really want to know what runs through the brain of everyone.. every silly tot, every crazy idea, every tearful tot... i want to know what is it that made one smile that way.. why she can suddenly smile to herself for no reason.. what sweet tot is running through her mind.. i want to know what is it that made one upset, though for some people, they have it written on their faces... but i want to know.. i want to know what caused him to act that way.. i seek to understand people.. but the more i try, the more i don't understand them.. i guess, this is way off the league of psychology or sociology or whatever else.. i'm just not an arts student..

mein onkel sagt.. das ist DEPRESSION.. vielleicht?? once someone told me of how one can sink into depression if he/she is left alone for too long a time.. but how can that be so?? though i must admit that there is some element of truth in this statement.. well, even if it did happen to me.. somehow i won't allow it to happen?? i can't let it happen.. i have too much to lose... as stupid it seems, a chain reaction will spark if it happen.. i cannot afford to let it happen..

confession: the weakness of man..

got this photo from my friend... just feeling purple today.. but i like white flowers too... diese blümen sind in schauinsland!!

'jasmine hall' day

realised that i've not written much about school since it began... again!! anyway, today is the 1st time of this semester that i've declared as 'jasmine hall' day... well, if you still don't know.. on this day, i will go to school in t-shirt and shorts and my purple sandals... some people calls this super 'lou kok'... but wells..

anyway, today i was wearing this super out-of-point t-shirt that i bought with adeline... it has literally all the sports on planet earth that people play printed on it.. but the irony of it all, is that i don't play any of them though i looked like i do play sports... *laughs*... well, i bought this shirt on purpose!!

well, almost could not wake up today coz i stayed up late yesterday, trying to comprehend stuff but that was unsuccessful too... anyway, ended school at approximately 11am... pretty early for a supposedly 3-hour lecture... see, that lecturer is just so slack, that the seniors told us that, you won't miss much even if you skipped his lectures...

well, so much for school.. next comes the food part of my entry.. met up with joshua for lunch at the arts canteen.. but the place didn't carry as much charm for me as it did yesterday... met eunice and her friend and shared table with them... saw people here and there.. can't remember who too... as usual, arts canteen was brimming with activities and people... long long snaking queues everywhere... i saw faith, who missed rag as much as i do... i met meng, who was searching for his friends... was thinking of calling up some of my friends when it dawned on me that majority of the arts students have a 3 or 4-day week... so most of the time, they won't be around in school...

with lunch done, continued on with my next appointment of the day.. was supposed to go to wanling's room at temasek for her hall farewell but was too lazy to wait till 2pm... and lo and behold, i met her at the central forum co-op instead... went to do co-op shopping again... saw this really interesting japanese dark chocolates... but decided against buying it as i've yet to finish consuming the chocolates which i've brought home from Deutschland... liwei was like, if you need a rubbish bin for the chocolates, there's one right here in front of you... well, it will take more than an earthquake to make me give the chocolates away...

on to my last event of the day, went over to bizad canteen to look for adeline... well, she broke her nail yesterday night and she's getting really upset about it.. here, i finally met one gal that has been missing-in-action for as long as i can remember.. or rather, i'm the one missing... anyway, introducing charmaine... as usual, i'll call her 'miss tan!!!' hicks... i miss those good old days whereby we'll just sit around in the office, complaining our guts out and miss karina heng would tell us this, 'now now girls, stop complaining.. the grass is always greener on the other side..' a lady whom i really admire a lot.. and guess what?? i just so happened to see her on my way home...

well, char was totally dressed up today... with a long ankle-length skirt as well... she looks good... really but ain't exactly what one should wear to school unless for special occassions... having other obligations to fulfill, she was gone in less than 15 minutes... more endless chatters about school and all.. discussions on 'schmeckt guts' and totally upsetting adeline's lunch... saw meishuang, dawn, gina & jerald too...

and then, the clock struck 2... i so need to go home... adeline went for her make-up lecture... back home, i sat in front of my desk, trying to comprehend more stuff but to no avail.. nothing seems to be making sense... so here i am, in front of the computer, doing what everyone is doing... BLOGGING...

while i'm trying my best to keep my head above the water level, i think i'm starting to fall sick again... what an ending to my self-declared 'jasmine hall' day... nicht spannend... =(

why...

"but he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknesses.' therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

fixing my eyes on You

"i won't turn left and i won't turn right
will not stray from the path that's right
but i'll keep on seeking, keep on reaching
follow, follow, follow Jesus Christ

i'm fixing my eyes on You
i'm fixing my eyes on You
i'm fixing my eyes on You
only You"

it's a marvel how much a kids' song can actually teach you... today's kids church actually reminded me of this... that despite how difficult things are, how terrible things will turn out to be, we should still fix our eyes on Him.. we even watched a short video clip of 'peter walking on water'.. the clip ended off with Jesus saying 'you of little faith, why did you doubt?'

why do i doubt? don't i have a Father who is greater than anything in the world? why do i choose to take matters in my own hands, rather then leave it to Him, who is omnipotent, to take care of them for me?

"my eyes are ever on the Lord, for only He will release my feet from the snare."
Psalm 25:15

luke..

i have no idea what to say of this but luke really caught me by surprise... and he sure knows how to make me happy..

had no school today so i spent the day at home.. well, was supposed to go run some errands in town, but as usual, jasmine has too great an inertia to move herself out of the house... fell asleep at about 3 plus and got woken up by a phone call...

luke: hey, don't cry yah??
me: (having just woke up, i was in a complete state of blurness but the 'cry' part got me a little on my toes) yah??
luke: i passed my chem test.. i got 31..
me: (fully awake) over 50??
luke: yah!!

the call ended there and it took me a while to digest the news.. few seconds later, i was telling my mum all about it, as though it's the biggest news of the century!!! on the way to cell, went to buy wang-wang biscuits for luke.. see, we're supposed to go buy them on wednesday after tuition but it was too late, so picked them up for him today... passed them to noelle during cell and she was like, don't spoil luke so much!!! *laughs*

honestly, i really do enjoy teaching luke though he and john are both 'driving' me to my grave.. well, last sunday, i'm supposed to be 'qi si le' but on wednesday, i'm supposed to be 'qi huo le'... erm, i don't quite understand that... but i don't know if i'm able to see him through to his o-levels, which is a year away from now... pending pending..

all about food!!!

what a filling day.. i ate so much today!!! all i can say is that, alles schmecken sehr gut..

starting with swiss rosti, fried tempura with potato wedges, lasagne al funghi & creamy mushroom soup, which is really really thick and rich... what a way to describe the soup...

next was a visit to swensens... with szemin & cherie... well, we had 2 topless 5!!! sehr spannend!! we had like 9 different flavours of ice-creams... sticky chewy chocolate.. yummy raisins... yam.. thin mint.. frosted chocolate malt.. strawberry.. vanilla.. chocolate freckles... mocha almond fudge.. cookies & cream...

your stomach just feels so good after that... what a great feeling...

vermissen... missing...

missing...

missing everything that has happened... missing the carefree feeling of a week ago.. missing the feeling of rushing around like a crazy person.. missed talking rubbish late at night on the src track.. missed eating macs, as though it's the best food on planet earth... missed sleeping on the src track or grandstand though they are the last places you will want to sleep on... missing that stupid rat that ran across the canvas... missing all the income statements... missing the stupid cheers that kelvin came up for everyone in his comm and how nonsensical they sound... missing the entire rag comm...

never saw someone so excited about visiting the dungeon.. the last round i was there, there were paint flakes falling all over darren... meiyan was so excited about the visit.. tammi was like, if you touch anything furry, please do not tell me... *laughs*... we took quite a bit of things though.. more rag & flag t-shirts... more fic files.. we almost took this t-shirt that celebrates some fathers' day affair... sehr interessant!!!

then went co-op shopping with tammi, siosen & meiyan.. boy, the whole central forum co-op was spilling with people... but well, we joined the queue and bought textbooks.. what a sad life university students lead... oh yes, can you believe this?? we actually sat down at the gecko cafe to eat and drink.. actually more of tammi, siosen & meiyan.. i had to rush off to meet the medicine PB to return him his receipts...

no wonder, we all said that we are suffering from withdrawal symptoms...

labour day [version 4.0... sigh]

finally returned to home... after spending 4 days in the wonderful land of nussu secretariat cr1... having an average of 4 hours of sleep each day, which is not enough for me...

what were we doing?? NUS RAG 2004... which was peppered with hick-ups but thanks be to God, everything worked out just fine... spent the entire of yesterday till 3am, looking through the income statements of all the halls and faculties... and boy, some were so thick, they totally turned me off... and yes, thanks to sonia [last year's rag head]... without your help, i won't be able to handle the score tabulation at all...

clearing up was pretty fun but tiring.. not only do we had to run to prevent the canvas from flying up, we had to run after people who were running on the src track during the preparation period.. and today, we had to run after the lorries which came to pick up the props after the event... my goodness, it was a test of my running skills, considering that i was in the wrong footwear as well.. the comm was so tired, we just fell asleep on the src track while trying to clear up the confetti, which was all over the grass area...

we finally went back to cr1 at about 6pm... and boy, we took one hour before proceeding for dinner!!! no prizes for guessing it right, we had macdonalds for dinner again!!! faith/ siosen/ meiyan/ leetong/ kelvin/ jerry/ huiying/ trevor... haven't seen jerry laughed so happily for a really long time... mounting day operations totally got to him... thank God that everything went well despite the many hick-ups... we were talking about all the participating bodies/ osa/ the guests and all... you can literally sense relief in the air... but sadness as well.. afterall, we have been working on rag for almost half a year.. revising our plans so many times.. and now, all has ended...

today marks the end of my labour period... all 3 of my orientation projects have come to an end.. as much as i dreaded the projects, i love them as much and just want to thank God for this opportunity.. painful and stressful at times but i learnt more of myself and people management.. well, it may be a blessing in disguise..

but meanwhile, SLEEP is essential!!!

sense - feel the passion, embrace the warmth

labour day [version 3.0... yawn...]

home now... oh yes and i cooked lunch for myself... though it's just instant noodles but it's challenging enough!!! gonna go back to school later.. i thank God that i stay so near school that i can just come home anytime i want... so much to thank God for within these 2 days...

yesterday was the closure of round 2A of bidding and thanks be to God, i got the ss module that i wanted... yup, i threw my entire general account down just for this module... and guess what?? i got hweeling in the same module as me!!! it's like finally man!!! after 1 year in nus, finally got my good friend with me!!!

despite how terrible i messed up FIC, everyone felt that it was pretty well done... and for that, i must thank the Lord for... for seeing me through the entire FIC period... i mean, i was so freaked out the day before and everything.. i can't explain how i feel in words...

and yes, i finally saw the plywood on the track... and boy, the workers are really fast!!! they have already completed laying 750 pieces of plywood on the track.. the remaining 750 will be coming this afternoon... the entire job is expected to be done by today... and the best part was that we all got to rest yesterday night... though kelvin was like jumping mad on why didn't we wake him up but he seriously needs the rest... the entire rag comm needs a rest.. else there is no way we can endure till saturday.. or even mounting day... really thankful that God has sustained us all so far... pray that He will continue to sustain us till the end of RAG...

but there's still the nitty-gritty details to be settled.. yawn...

labour day [version 2.0]

okay... FIC is over... as much as things that should happen have happened and that which should not happen have also happened... amongst my 2 focc projects, i miss FIC the most... and yup, we were appointing elaine to be the next project director... *laughs*

darren and me went down to ucc to clear the backdrop and the banner... we were just in time.. a minute slower, the contractor would have thrown the backdrop away!!! got the contractor to help us cut the backdrop into 12 pieces... one for each main comm member.. tammi got the big banner that was hung outside ucc... hicks, she was complaining why doesn't she get the ones from the backdrop instead.. brought everything back to nussu secretariat... there, we labelled each piece for everyone... not exactly randomly, some for obvious reasons... and the best part was we didn't even take a proper photo together as a comm and of the backdrop as well... goodness!!! see, elaine, desmond and me missed the fic comm photo taking... sigh...

anyway, today is flag day so cherie was in school... there's overnight counting going on today... and then rag is going crazy too... canvas problem... plywood and shields... cisco too... hicks... faith/ kelvin/ jerry/ shiyun/ luyee/ huiying/ meiyan/ leetong are all staying overnight so as to lay the canvas at night... gonna join them tomorrow... need to start working for rag... took a break today to rest from fic, which totally zapped my energy somehow... but i feel that it's more worth it to do focc projects than my own fac stuff.. okay, i'm biased here... but... hicks..

quotations, quotations, quotations.. hopefully will get everything settled as soon as possible.. arvin and darren were sprouting rubbish.. what next hon finance... i dun want!!! i wanna go backpacking instead!!! anyway, today is not exactly a labour day but rather an ending to one labour session and the prelude for the next... actually felt quite bad that i didn't help them at all for the laying of canvas... just pray that it will not rain tonight... and i really want the quotations to be settled...

maybe i should start packing now... auf wiedersehen... bis sonntag...

illuminate - chandelier of aspirations