so this is it... today marks the end of yet another semester... a semester that went passed too fast with too much happening.. actually not that much, rather it's that internal battle with school and many other issues...
i crashed and cracked but i did not burn.. i broke and surrender but there's no need for a white flag... i thought i needed the white flag but realised that i didn't... subtly, He was there to sustain me... He was there to carry me through.. though i reached for Him and could neither feel nor find Him, He was there and is still there... He is ever constant... when i've been unfaithful, He has been...
hmt hit home hard and cold... throw in the many unresolved and uncertain happenings, it totally got to me.. when the person i needed most was not around, He provided me with other friends and my family to sustain me physically, knowing well that i needed physical support..
and yes, i so needed yesterday's sermon.. it was really like the reply that God gave to me... the helplessness felt by king jehoshaphat.. an honest confession to his people that he had no confidence of the imminent war.. looking to the Lord for strength and help.. confessing the weakness of man, yet praising the Lord, giving thanks to Him... the land of judea went to war and the Lord was with them.. indeed, the battle is His.. similarly, even as david faced goliath, he said the exact same words, that the battle is the Lord's... and nope, i can still praise the Lord.. i can still sing!!!
as disastrous ess was, i was like telling myself that i cannot crack.. not anymore coz it's been enough and i have a bigger God taking care of it.. was talking to alfred on sat and we'll like saying, how much we need God in this whole exam, else many things would have fallen apart and we would have fall with them as well...
so that's it... as much as i wished that somehow things will be better and more predictable and within my controls, many a times, He has showed me that it is not... He knows but i don't... all He asks is for me to trust in Him and have that faith... oh, how little faith i have...
spent the rest of the day with xingyi, doreen and chaiyen... jianz could not join us coz of his wednesday's paper.. but chills, gonna try and plan something during the holidays... and once again, orchard road looked so different.. haven't visited it for more than a month... with the christmas lights, the christmas cheers.. more renovations done to the shopping malls... the moving of shops from one unit to another... hmm, everything seems so foreign... late lunch cum dinner at mos burger... the company reminded me of how cn6 first started out... we were an all-girls class... but there was reshuffling done to the class arrangment within the 1st two days of school... but no harm done, i love my class just the same... all those new friendships formed within and outside of class.. and the strengthening of existing bonds...
anyway, we went shopping.. xingyi was not contented with her spenditure though coz she did not manage to get all that she wanted... at esprit, i became the sample for the promoter to doodle the christmas collection of red earth on... had like purple and cream glittery eye shadows on me... pretty nice shade of colour but she applied them real thick... much more than i usually do... *shocking!!!!* we shopped all the way from wisma to heeren to esprit to cineleisure, where we had a 2nd dinner at pastamania... not that good a supper coz our over-food-conversation was about growing fat... xingyi's oven baked pasta had a cold centre so we had to request for them to reheat the pasta... and we were too full to move... finally had to move off to go home... and i was trying to trick xingyi into believing that the bus-stop was further down from youth park.. okay, i'm evil... *laughs*..
realised that when i'm alone.. i tend to swing into 2 states: either i'll think more and talk to God or i'll just go into a state of blankness... i need time off for myself.. i need to think through and work through stuff... since i can't get out of singapore, i have to find some way of taking time off from life.. get what i mean?? meanwhile, have to start working for another upcoming event, which i'm really excited about.. but need the inspiration to come along... =)
Monday, November 29, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
the serenity prayer...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr
Saturday, November 20, 2004
the warm feeling of peace..
argh!!! blogspot ate up my right column.. but ain't gonna do anything about it.. as long as the main content is still there... anyway, was so close to meeting paul today.. but he had to work.. managed to catch him from across the road though... we were like 2 idoits waving at each other... nevermind, shall meet up with him after the exams and before school starts for him...
anyway, ss is over and done with.. i just hope that i did fine for it.. i can't exactly describe how i felt after the paper... i was smiling silly to myself... meiyan and faith was like, she's gone mad... but i really felt so relieved... don't exactly think that it's because of how well i've done for the paper, coz everyone else wrote so much... i only managed a 1.5 page per question... really hope that i didn't write out of point though... but the wonders and power of prayer... it really calms and takes away everything else...
anyway, trying to do my particle tech helpsheet.. but it has loads of space in between, which is not exactly a good thing coz as what everyone else would do, we would cramp anything and everything into the 'cheat' sheet.. done only 3 chapters... the heavyweight ones are not done yet.. gonna try and work on it later...
o-levels are almost over... feeling a little relieved yet worried too.. long story on why... ain't gonna launch into it here... and soon, mine will be over too.. but before it is, have to brave the storms of another 4 papers... and all the heavy ones... the engin modules... and for some, have not even seen the light of them... *breathe*..
anyway, rena, meiyan and faith said that i have a warped sense of humour... the engineer-humour... right!!! rena was going on and on about the are-you-dumb website... which is really dumb.. coz i tried the website out of curiosity and it was really silly.. she was going on that only we crazy engineers will go visit such nonsensical websites and find fun in them... *begging to differ*... i don't!!! must be the exam craziness...
steph's back from down under... yahoo!!! but can only meet up with her after the exams are over... listening now to my tom-albrecht cd... though i don't understand a word of it but i really like it a lot... one of the first things that i bought when i got to freiburg!!! *put all the shoes down!!! don't you throw them at me*...
anyway, i don't have a tagboard yet.. so am gonna leave my replies here...
to ruhigeSeele: thanks loads for the encouragement.. hey, though i don't know anything but don't worry so much about friday's paper.. it's over and just leave it to Him to take care of it for you.. coz He will... and you know it too... just keep going on for the next few papers... do your part and leave it the rest to Him!!! cheer up!!! =)
to noey: thanks gal!!! 1 peter 5:7 reminds me of something that charmaine said to me a year ago during the exam period too but i can't remember what.. age is catching up already.. take care yah!!! miss ya loads here...
to [E]imaJ: to the other half of my wasserfrau business... thanks loads babe.. thanks for cheering me up and all.. you go study hard too.. kick some butts at applied chem man!!! don't think i can kick much butts on my side.. but gonna kick whatever i can too!!! after exams man!!!
"'never will i leave you, never will i forsake you.' so we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my helper; i will not be afraid. what can man do to me?'"
Hebrews 13: 5b-6
anyway, ss is over and done with.. i just hope that i did fine for it.. i can't exactly describe how i felt after the paper... i was smiling silly to myself... meiyan and faith was like, she's gone mad... but i really felt so relieved... don't exactly think that it's because of how well i've done for the paper, coz everyone else wrote so much... i only managed a 1.5 page per question... really hope that i didn't write out of point though... but the wonders and power of prayer... it really calms and takes away everything else...
anyway, trying to do my particle tech helpsheet.. but it has loads of space in between, which is not exactly a good thing coz as what everyone else would do, we would cramp anything and everything into the 'cheat' sheet.. done only 3 chapters... the heavyweight ones are not done yet.. gonna try and work on it later...
o-levels are almost over... feeling a little relieved yet worried too.. long story on why... ain't gonna launch into it here... and soon, mine will be over too.. but before it is, have to brave the storms of another 4 papers... and all the heavy ones... the engin modules... and for some, have not even seen the light of them... *breathe*..
anyway, rena, meiyan and faith said that i have a warped sense of humour... the engineer-humour... right!!! rena was going on and on about the are-you-dumb website... which is really dumb.. coz i tried the website out of curiosity and it was really silly.. she was going on that only we crazy engineers will go visit such nonsensical websites and find fun in them... *begging to differ*... i don't!!! must be the exam craziness...
steph's back from down under... yahoo!!! but can only meet up with her after the exams are over... listening now to my tom-albrecht cd... though i don't understand a word of it but i really like it a lot... one of the first things that i bought when i got to freiburg!!! *put all the shoes down!!! don't you throw them at me*...
anyway, i don't have a tagboard yet.. so am gonna leave my replies here...
to ruhigeSeele: thanks loads for the encouragement.. hey, though i don't know anything but don't worry so much about friday's paper.. it's over and just leave it to Him to take care of it for you.. coz He will... and you know it too... just keep going on for the next few papers... do your part and leave it the rest to Him!!! cheer up!!! =)
to noey: thanks gal!!! 1 peter 5:7 reminds me of something that charmaine said to me a year ago during the exam period too but i can't remember what.. age is catching up already.. take care yah!!! miss ya loads here...
to [E]imaJ: to the other half of my wasserfrau business... thanks loads babe.. thanks for cheering me up and all.. you go study hard too.. kick some butts at applied chem man!!! don't think i can kick much butts on my side.. but gonna kick whatever i can too!!! after exams man!!!
"'never will i leave you, never will i forsake you.' so we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my helper; i will not be afraid. what can man do to me?'"
Hebrews 13: 5b-6
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
misfits...
i feel so tired... for the very first time, in a very long time... i feel like crying... and for the very wrong reasons too.. this is dumb, once again, i'm not making much sense here again... for the very first time, especially when i'm supposed to but somehow it's not happening... i'm finally feeling the heat of the exams... and yes, i'm not done studying for my ss which is tested this very friday... will someone come and congratulate me please?? oh yes, throw in a trophy too.. coz i deserve it too!!! right, half a point for effort.. maybe my friend's right, when the exams are just a couple of days away, the stress will come on full-force...
what a day... spent the whole morning and afternoon trying to understand what the world is fugacity about... and yes, i'm still struggling with that irritating fella and his best friend, activity coefficient.. to complicate matters, they brought another friend along, whose name is equilibrium constant and all those extended family relations of his too... not to mention that i've neglected Carnot and his best friend, Rankine...
tried to read something that has been left untouched since sec. 4, and boy, that was a challenge man!!!! geography!!! spannend!!! right... another half a point for effort... so much to study and so little time left... and what a brilliant way of utilising my time, i'm here blogging away... goodness, someone please shoot me in the head!!!
picked this up from meine wasserfrau's blog, ...and remember that you're made BY Him, FROM Him, and FOR Him... i want to feel encourage by it, that through it all, He is seeing me through but somehow i can't... i feel like there's some minor battle breaking out inside, which can't seem to seek peace.. trying to drown it by blasting music from my md.. but after a concentrated span of 20 minutes, i'll pause, look around and get distracted all over again... sheesh.. mind of one confused person man!!!
i must say this.. thanks to you who tried to keep me awake and for telling me those really lame yet intelligient jokes... but my brain's in a state of malfunction so can't answer your questions.. but thanks!!! oh yah, due to the high possibilities of sars breaking out all over again, i can't go hongkong or china for holidays!!! sheesh... sigh!!!
what a day... spent the whole morning and afternoon trying to understand what the world is fugacity about... and yes, i'm still struggling with that irritating fella and his best friend, activity coefficient.. to complicate matters, they brought another friend along, whose name is equilibrium constant and all those extended family relations of his too... not to mention that i've neglected Carnot and his best friend, Rankine...
tried to read something that has been left untouched since sec. 4, and boy, that was a challenge man!!!! geography!!! spannend!!! right... another half a point for effort... so much to study and so little time left... and what a brilliant way of utilising my time, i'm here blogging away... goodness, someone please shoot me in the head!!!
picked this up from meine wasserfrau's blog, ...and remember that you're made BY Him, FROM Him, and FOR Him... i want to feel encourage by it, that through it all, He is seeing me through but somehow i can't... i feel like there's some minor battle breaking out inside, which can't seem to seek peace.. trying to drown it by blasting music from my md.. but after a concentrated span of 20 minutes, i'll pause, look around and get distracted all over again... sheesh.. mind of one confused person man!!!
i must say this.. thanks to you who tried to keep me awake and for telling me those really lame yet intelligient jokes... but my brain's in a state of malfunction so can't answer your questions.. but thanks!!! oh yah, due to the high possibilities of sars breaking out all over again, i can't go hongkong or china for holidays!!! sheesh... sigh!!!
Thursday, November 11, 2004
confessions of a mugger-wannabe..
well.. the title said it all.. i'm a mugger-wannabe... can't get there coz i'm just not hardworking enough... minus the already-not-smart factor, it's almost equivalent to nothing left.. what a pity!!! schade!!! big plans to bring up my cap.. somewhat too distant.. learning to make do with what i have and just work on it.. sigh... i still want to become a mugger, then maybe my grades won't be that crap...
anyway, today's deepavali... having public holidays in the midst of the study break is equivalent to no break at all.. kendrick's equation: public holiday = no mugging... i totally agree with that!!! slept the whole day away.. woke up for dinner and watched singapore idol.. right!!! the right programme to watch.. and then some dumb local serial.. see, that's how i wasted my time.. like my 'girlfriend' said, when it's the exams, everything and anything that has nothing to do with studying, suddenly seems really interesting... another statement which i agree with...
oh yes, adeline was really interesting today.. she told me to entertain her.. right, it should be the other way round, coz that's what i tell people... traits that we discovered during rag.. must have picked it up from jerry, seeing him entertain himself... but nope, i'm not going to entertain myself.. that sounds so retarded...
the above paragraph was a deviation... anyway, it's funny how i don't feel any bits of stress at all.. the whole central library is flooded with people... everyone is mugging their guts out.. or just staying home to study till wee hours... people who are normally online, are suddenly gone... i'm weird... i just float all the way... since semester 1.. this is no good man.. and not to mention that i've not complete all my tutorials either.. all the backlogged and all...
sep is not giving me a good time either.. module matching is terrible... been taking advices from april but the problem is that she did not go to deutschland.. she went to uk for exchange instead.. which will be my 2nd choice of location.. coz noelle's there, nitya's there.. can go visit them.. and there's lesser problems involved too... and from there, touring ard europe will be pretty easy too.. but nothing beats deutschland since it is situated in the middle of central europe... and karlsuhe is like the place man!!! next to the border of france and a 2-hour train ride to switzerland... Lord, if you will, please let me get karlsruhe... even though there's so much problems involved...
maybe i should start studying.. someone plant the seed of urgency in me please!!! where is the stress man!!!
anyway, today's deepavali... having public holidays in the midst of the study break is equivalent to no break at all.. kendrick's equation: public holiday = no mugging... i totally agree with that!!! slept the whole day away.. woke up for dinner and watched singapore idol.. right!!! the right programme to watch.. and then some dumb local serial.. see, that's how i wasted my time.. like my 'girlfriend' said, when it's the exams, everything and anything that has nothing to do with studying, suddenly seems really interesting... another statement which i agree with...
oh yes, adeline was really interesting today.. she told me to entertain her.. right, it should be the other way round, coz that's what i tell people... traits that we discovered during rag.. must have picked it up from jerry, seeing him entertain himself... but nope, i'm not going to entertain myself.. that sounds so retarded...
the above paragraph was a deviation... anyway, it's funny how i don't feel any bits of stress at all.. the whole central library is flooded with people... everyone is mugging their guts out.. or just staying home to study till wee hours... people who are normally online, are suddenly gone... i'm weird... i just float all the way... since semester 1.. this is no good man.. and not to mention that i've not complete all my tutorials either.. all the backlogged and all...
sep is not giving me a good time either.. module matching is terrible... been taking advices from april but the problem is that she did not go to deutschland.. she went to uk for exchange instead.. which will be my 2nd choice of location.. coz noelle's there, nitya's there.. can go visit them.. and there's lesser problems involved too... and from there, touring ard europe will be pretty easy too.. but nothing beats deutschland since it is situated in the middle of central europe... and karlsuhe is like the place man!!! next to the border of france and a 2-hour train ride to switzerland... Lord, if you will, please let me get karlsruhe... even though there's so much problems involved...
maybe i should start studying.. someone plant the seed of urgency in me please!!! where is the stress man!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
the eagle..
this is the gist of pastor nick's sermon last sunday.. talking about my favourite creature of the animal kingdom... most of you would know why too... unfortunately, i missed the bulk of the sermon coz of children's hour, which i think i'm quite bad at... can't believe that i actually came up with some stuff last minute to help the kids remember what was taught... if they still remember though...
anyway, this came really timely.. just when i needed renewal after falling into a pit... thanks to aunty jean for this timely reminder.. anyway, here goes...
1. Eagles only take fresh meat and not dead animals. Similarly, we are never greater than our intake of God's Word (meat). Focus on God... Jesus said the scriptures point to Him.
2. When the storms come, it mounts up and flies instead of hiding like other birds. It challenges the storm. What it does is, it focuses on the sun and flies toward the sun through the storm. When it gets pass the clouds, it lets the sun dries its feathers. When we are in a storm, stay focused on Jesus.
3. There is one bird bigger than the eagle - it's the Candor (or Turkey Buzzard). An Eagle's wingspan is 7.5 feet but the Candor is 10 feet. The Eagle weighs about 10 pounds but the Candor is about 20 pounds. So when the Candor goes after the eagle, it again focuses its eyes on the sun and flies toward it. (The Eagle is the only bird whose eyes can look at the sun but the Candor cannot). At some point, the Candor will give up the chase because it cannot stand looking toward the sun. When the enemy harasses you, run to the Lord, not people.
4. The Eagle is able to renew its strength. When it is worn out, Mrs Eagle may go catch a fresh rabbit for Mr Eagle and plonk it in front of him. He has to make a decision.. to eat what others has caught or to go and renew himself. He chooses to renew his feathers and the worn-out beak and claws by flying for 36 hours to a high point. There it plucks off his own feathers, smashes his own beak and claws and waits 40 days for renewed feathers and claws and beak to grow. That's where you get the verse Isaiah 40:31. Wait is an active waiting in expectancy.
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31
anyway, this came really timely.. just when i needed renewal after falling into a pit... thanks to aunty jean for this timely reminder.. anyway, here goes...
1. Eagles only take fresh meat and not dead animals. Similarly, we are never greater than our intake of God's Word (meat). Focus on God... Jesus said the scriptures point to Him.
2. When the storms come, it mounts up and flies instead of hiding like other birds. It challenges the storm. What it does is, it focuses on the sun and flies toward the sun through the storm. When it gets pass the clouds, it lets the sun dries its feathers. When we are in a storm, stay focused on Jesus.
3. There is one bird bigger than the eagle - it's the Candor (or Turkey Buzzard). An Eagle's wingspan is 7.5 feet but the Candor is 10 feet. The Eagle weighs about 10 pounds but the Candor is about 20 pounds. So when the Candor goes after the eagle, it again focuses its eyes on the sun and flies toward it. (The Eagle is the only bird whose eyes can look at the sun but the Candor cannot). At some point, the Candor will give up the chase because it cannot stand looking toward the sun. When the enemy harasses you, run to the Lord, not people.
4. The Eagle is able to renew its strength. When it is worn out, Mrs Eagle may go catch a fresh rabbit for Mr Eagle and plonk it in front of him. He has to make a decision.. to eat what others has caught or to go and renew himself. He chooses to renew his feathers and the worn-out beak and claws by flying for 36 hours to a high point. There it plucks off his own feathers, smashes his own beak and claws and waits 40 days for renewed feathers and claws and beak to grow. That's where you get the verse Isaiah 40:31. Wait is an active waiting in expectancy.
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31
Sunday, November 07, 2004
okay... didn't exactly want to go for it coz i'm having german vocab test tomorrow.. but i did... and it was worth the time... even for just one act.. chromoZone... in the nutshell, it kept me from falling asleep coz i was pretty tired... yup, the lead guitarist actually played for fic this year.. rick smith!!! but he's cool.. and throw in the cool music and company, it totally made everything worthwhile... pity that min can't join us.. but chills, there will be more to come.. oh yes, the opening act actually reminded me of that concert that took place in staufen, but i didn't go for it coz i was at konstanz... just that it brought back familiar feelings... make sense?? and yes, cherie and me are going to occupy one of those seats at one of the restaurants... when we have the money to do so...
Saturday, November 06, 2004
the void-deckers..
well, that's what we were... and that's like how we all came together... some from council, some from the days of ogls.. from playing captain's ball before a-levels... and yes, most importantly, studying together in the void-deck.. playing boggle and having those dinners, courtesy of the parents...
really miss all of them.. the last time i saw them was before i flew off to germany in june.. which is a really long time... miss hearing the guys complain their guts out about national service.. and guess what?? in less than 5 months, they will be ord-ing... super interesting man!!! in a way, i thank God for nus.. at least i still get to see szemin and cherie around.. which really helps maintain sanity amongst the frenzy and all..
and so today, we ended up at koksoon's place for home-made pizza, slacking, playstation and finally, mighty ducks... well, it's a really old movie but it's the company man!!! coming together to just do something together and just slack it out... and they had a really good time banging me about germans and all... yes yes... maybe i've really gone crazy with germany!!! and yes, that stupid but interesting bet we made.. *laughs*...
spent some time catching up with people... not all but at least, managed to catch up on the lives of some of them... been a really long, yet fast 6 months... and so much has happened.. but i thank God for this little gathering... gathering around koksoon's small kitchen table, stealing bits of stuff that were supposed to go on the pizza and just taking rubbish... oh yah, edmund got a new car!!! crap, i still can't drive...
but anyway, i miss having them around.. and next year, they will all be in uni.. just that we will all be at different places.. here, there, everywhere... *reminds me of that beatles's song*... oh wells.. till then, but then again, it will be pretty easy to meet up too... okay, see ya all tomorrow!!! =)
really miss all of them.. the last time i saw them was before i flew off to germany in june.. which is a really long time... miss hearing the guys complain their guts out about national service.. and guess what?? in less than 5 months, they will be ord-ing... super interesting man!!! in a way, i thank God for nus.. at least i still get to see szemin and cherie around.. which really helps maintain sanity amongst the frenzy and all..
and so today, we ended up at koksoon's place for home-made pizza, slacking, playstation and finally, mighty ducks... well, it's a really old movie but it's the company man!!! coming together to just do something together and just slack it out... and they had a really good time banging me about germans and all... yes yes... maybe i've really gone crazy with germany!!! and yes, that stupid but interesting bet we made.. *laughs*...
spent some time catching up with people... not all but at least, managed to catch up on the lives of some of them... been a really long, yet fast 6 months... and so much has happened.. but i thank God for this little gathering... gathering around koksoon's small kitchen table, stealing bits of stuff that were supposed to go on the pizza and just taking rubbish... oh yah, edmund got a new car!!! crap, i still can't drive...
but anyway, i miss having them around.. and next year, they will all be in uni.. just that we will all be at different places.. here, there, everywhere... *reminds me of that beatles's song*... oh wells.. till then, but then again, it will be pretty easy to meet up too... okay, see ya all tomorrow!!! =)
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
tired... müde...
i can't believe this... for once, i'm blogging from school... why am i in school at this hour?? coz i'm trying to study for my german test tomorrow... and it's really getting to my head... goodness!!! immer viele stress von Deutsch!!! and now, even better, i don't even know what to study anymore... and i know that once i'm home, i won't study for it anymore... so better get it done in school.. but... sigh!!!
and realised of how much i really don't know of things.. there's so much... too much for my system to withstand.. ich hat gesagt, dass das system sehr ungesund ist!!! sehr gefährlich, weil es explodieren wird!!! oh nein, es ist nicht gut!!! es kann nicht passieren... ich weiß nicht nichts mehr!!! ich will frieden... ich suche für ihn... wo ist er??? ich bin müde.. ich möchte eine pause...
okay... ranted enough... better stop ranting, before i start pouring my guts out here... at least not for today.. must at least survive through tomorrow's test and the rest of the week.. so much running through my head.. like i said before, too much for this little brain of mine to comprehend and to deal with... but i will, slowly.. and with His help... else there's no way i can survive through it... i need to talk to Him..
gonna head back to german, else there's no way i can finish it all... hicks.. so much more to do and so little time and energy left.. quoting my good friend, why is nus never-ending???
and realised of how much i really don't know of things.. there's so much... too much for my system to withstand.. ich hat gesagt, dass das system sehr ungesund ist!!! sehr gefährlich, weil es explodieren wird!!! oh nein, es ist nicht gut!!! es kann nicht passieren... ich weiß nicht nichts mehr!!! ich will frieden... ich suche für ihn... wo ist er??? ich bin müde.. ich möchte eine pause...
okay... ranted enough... better stop ranting, before i start pouring my guts out here... at least not for today.. must at least survive through tomorrow's test and the rest of the week.. so much running through my head.. like i said before, too much for this little brain of mine to comprehend and to deal with... but i will, slowly.. and with His help... else there's no way i can survive through it... i need to talk to Him..
gonna head back to german, else there's no way i can finish it all... hicks.. so much more to do and so little time and energy left.. quoting my good friend, why is nus never-ending???
man and woman..
can't sleep... more or less along that line... or maybe it's just the effect of the internet... i can never sleep after logging offline till a little while later, unless i am really really tired.. anyway, my system is facing a phase of unsteady state.. not a really healthy state to be in though... can literally feel the content threatening to spill out any time... either as part of the underflow or the overflow... sheesh, better do something to curb it man..
just a tot... something that i've wanted to blog for a really long time but never did.. coz somehow the words and the content don't exactly come along..
one of my friend once mentioned on how women are always the evil ones... we are the ones that give the call for a break-up... we are the ones that will go around 'testing water' before making up our minds... well, take it in the literal sense.. and so on... blah blah blah...
well, not that it's not completely false.. it's not exactly right either... women are the ones that cry their hearts out when a break-up occurs... they are the ones that will defend their husbands even when sos comes knocking on the door with a charge of domestic abuse... how they will insist that nothing of this sort is happening, even when it is obvious to the rest of the world...
always remembered this conversation i overheard accidentally at raffles hall many years ago... how this girl was crying in her room, talking on the phone with her boyfriend, pleading with him to not break up with her... and on the other hand, there are guys out there who are awfully sweet and wonderful to their girlfriends... though many say that this sweetness won't last long but have seen enough to refute this statement to a certain extent...
so are women evil?? i still can't find an answer to this question but i know that...
"your beauty should not come from outward adornment... instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight... husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.."
1 Peter 3:3,5,7
just a tot... something that i've wanted to blog for a really long time but never did.. coz somehow the words and the content don't exactly come along..
one of my friend once mentioned on how women are always the evil ones... we are the ones that give the call for a break-up... we are the ones that will go around 'testing water' before making up our minds... well, take it in the literal sense.. and so on... blah blah blah...
well, not that it's not completely false.. it's not exactly right either... women are the ones that cry their hearts out when a break-up occurs... they are the ones that will defend their husbands even when sos comes knocking on the door with a charge of domestic abuse... how they will insist that nothing of this sort is happening, even when it is obvious to the rest of the world...
always remembered this conversation i overheard accidentally at raffles hall many years ago... how this girl was crying in her room, talking on the phone with her boyfriend, pleading with him to not break up with her... and on the other hand, there are guys out there who are awfully sweet and wonderful to their girlfriends... though many say that this sweetness won't last long but have seen enough to refute this statement to a certain extent...
so are women evil?? i still can't find an answer to this question but i know that...
"your beauty should not come from outward adornment... instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight... husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.."
1 Peter 3:3,5,7
Sunday, October 31, 2004
reasons vs. motives
i don't exactly know anymore... i don't know what's mine, what's yours... what's his or hers... i don't know why am i doing certain stuff... who am i doing it for and what am i doing it for... i have absolutely no idea.. i feel that the line between reason and motive is blurring.. the line seems to be merging into one... it's just so confusing.. when there's a million and one things running through your head and you have absolutely no idea, when did it start and how did it start... and you just feel so jumbled up inside.. and then, your brain goes into a sudden state of blankness.. how did that happen?? keine ahnung...
hmm.. not making much sense here.. should just rename this blog to 'verbal diarrhoea'.. coz it seems to become my ranting corner for a brain with a capacity too small to hold and handle many stuff, yet there is still so much that came, coming and to come... oh sheesh... time to work hard but.. oh crap, i should just give up...
hmm.. not making much sense here.. should just rename this blog to 'verbal diarrhoea'.. coz it seems to become my ranting corner for a brain with a capacity too small to hold and handle many stuff, yet there is still so much that came, coming and to come... oh sheesh... time to work hard but.. oh crap, i should just give up...
Thursday, October 28, 2004
sep...
okay, let's see.. i'm more or less done with my geography project.. managed to crap up something and i really hope that it's correct though coz i did not s/u my module.. so i really need to do well for every single assignment and what-have-you... geography lab in the afternoon was pretty fun.. well, almost.. tracing, colouring and drawing maps.. goodness, that reminds me of all the good old days back in primary school and kindergarten, where we think it's so fun to connect-the-dots and do colouring... but trust me, today's one was enough to kill my eyes...
time frame: 2005/2006
destination: deutschland
duration of stay: ???
oh wells, attended the dept sep talk on tuesday... let's just say, i got whacked on my head again.. it's so near, yet so far... every single thing that i want out of sep.. it's there, yet at the same time, it's not.. yeah, karlsruhe is not amongst the choices for the german universities but wang chi-hwa said that he will help us ask around and see if other depts can free up slots for eufo and me... the 2nd choice would be hamburg-harburg but i'm not that keen on that school coz it's too far up north... *so picky!!!*... and then, there's the mapping of modules too, which is going to be one whole ball of trouble.. sigh!!! and the dateline is during the exam period.. spannend!!! *faints*... and yes, there's the decision to go for a semester or the entire year... well, the most important factor will still be $$$.. i mean, it's going to be really expensive... considering that the exchange rate is already twice of that at home... and everything is going to be auf deutsch, i will need a huge engineering dictionary to translate all the terms.. and of course, there's still all that i'm leaving back home... kelvin was saying, how anything and everything can happen back home within the period of half a year..
so much to consider for a small brain of mine... so much stuff on my plate such that i have no idea on which to start off with first... i can see the plate overflowing already... and there are, definitely, reasons that are holding me back here.. commitments and what-have-you... i need to sort that plate out real soon.. before everything starts falling off the plate...
oh yah, before i forget, one of my birthday wishes was fulfilled... thanks be to God... yupz, go figure what it is.. but no prizes for getting it right..
time frame: 2005/2006
destination: deutschland
duration of stay: ???
oh wells, attended the dept sep talk on tuesday... let's just say, i got whacked on my head again.. it's so near, yet so far... every single thing that i want out of sep.. it's there, yet at the same time, it's not.. yeah, karlsruhe is not amongst the choices for the german universities but wang chi-hwa said that he will help us ask around and see if other depts can free up slots for eufo and me... the 2nd choice would be hamburg-harburg but i'm not that keen on that school coz it's too far up north... *so picky!!!*... and then, there's the mapping of modules too, which is going to be one whole ball of trouble.. sigh!!! and the dateline is during the exam period.. spannend!!! *faints*... and yes, there's the decision to go for a semester or the entire year... well, the most important factor will still be $$$.. i mean, it's going to be really expensive... considering that the exchange rate is already twice of that at home... and everything is going to be auf deutsch, i will need a huge engineering dictionary to translate all the terms.. and of course, there's still all that i'm leaving back home... kelvin was saying, how anything and everything can happen back home within the period of half a year..
so much to consider for a small brain of mine... so much stuff on my plate such that i have no idea on which to start off with first... i can see the plate overflowing already... and there are, definitely, reasons that are holding me back here.. commitments and what-have-you... i need to sort that plate out real soon.. before everything starts falling off the plate...
oh yah, before i forget, one of my birthday wishes was fulfilled... thanks be to God... yupz, go figure what it is.. but no prizes for getting it right..
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
event management..
everytime when i think that i am about to die out and collapse.. He will bring something else into my sight.. something that would make me really happy and for that moment, just forget all about other issues.. this is how wonderful He is...
let's see, the day started off not too well... coupled with all those falling asleep and i-don't-understand-what's-happening sessions... i thought that today would just be another one of those many days.. but it turned out to be different.. He brought me something that i love doing loads.. well, not as much as my 1st love but good enough... He brought me 'event management'...
something which i've been comtemplating about... it just felt so nice to be able to share my views and throw out ideas and opinions.. i really love publicity stunts... of course i can't do it as well as nic does.. and i do get influenced from what i see of existing publicity materials.. but i'm just surprised at what came out of my head.. considering that i'm in a state of 'KOPF LOS'... despite all the craziness flying around me and i can seriously sense that i'm going crazy any minute, this short little interruption really brought me sufficient joy to keep going.. and of course, i'm so looking forward to the actual event itself...
and the best part is, i'm doing what i really like to do during the event itself!!! DECORS!!!! oh man, goodness knows when did i fall in love with it.. but i just really love it.. and yes, i have the honour of working with deborah on this... and of course, many others too... and sean, as the head!!! *laughs*....
event management... i wonder how long will my passion for it last.. well, maybe i'm just so unsure of everything, that's why He has yet to tell me things that i want to know and show me what's ahead... and what He has planned out for me... i need His guidance... but for now, i'm happy enough...
let's see, the day started off not too well... coupled with all those falling asleep and i-don't-understand-what's-happening sessions... i thought that today would just be another one of those many days.. but it turned out to be different.. He brought me something that i love doing loads.. well, not as much as my 1st love but good enough... He brought me 'event management'...
something which i've been comtemplating about... it just felt so nice to be able to share my views and throw out ideas and opinions.. i really love publicity stunts... of course i can't do it as well as nic does.. and i do get influenced from what i see of existing publicity materials.. but i'm just surprised at what came out of my head.. considering that i'm in a state of 'KOPF LOS'... despite all the craziness flying around me and i can seriously sense that i'm going crazy any minute, this short little interruption really brought me sufficient joy to keep going.. and of course, i'm so looking forward to the actual event itself...
and the best part is, i'm doing what i really like to do during the event itself!!! DECORS!!!! oh man, goodness knows when did i fall in love with it.. but i just really love it.. and yes, i have the honour of working with deborah on this... and of course, many others too... and sean, as the head!!! *laughs*....
event management... i wonder how long will my passion for it last.. well, maybe i'm just so unsure of everything, that's why He has yet to tell me things that i want to know and show me what's ahead... and what He has planned out for me... i need His guidance... but for now, i'm happy enough...
Saturday, October 23, 2004
husbands and wives...
"wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord... husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up to her.. in this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself... for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh..."
Ephesians 5:22,25,28,29a,31
God did not ask the wife to love her husband coz love comes from within of the woman... but to submit to her husband, to respect her other half... on the other hand, God tells the husband to love his wife coz it is not easy for a man to love his other half... man needs the respect he wants and sometimes, he controls too much...
the woman needs to be loved.. she receives her gratification by being reassured constantly, in words and actions, that she is loved... God designed the woman to have an ability of awareness to perceive... so that she can perceive her husbands motives, especially when he does not recognise whether they are pure or otherwise...
Ephesians 5:22,25,28,29a,31
God did not ask the wife to love her husband coz love comes from within of the woman... but to submit to her husband, to respect her other half... on the other hand, God tells the husband to love his wife coz it is not easy for a man to love his other half... man needs the respect he wants and sometimes, he controls too much...
the woman needs to be loved.. she receives her gratification by being reassured constantly, in words and actions, that she is loved... God designed the woman to have an ability of awareness to perceive... so that she can perceive her husbands motives, especially when he does not recognise whether they are pure or otherwise...
Thursday, October 21, 2004
mamma mia!!! oh man.. i finally watched it and it's really one of the better aussie productions i've watched so far... the dance was good, the singing was good... and it's pretty smart of them to use songs that everyone know... so everyone was singing along too!!! and there were people dancing at the end of the whole show too!!! oh yes, the music conductor was really funny.. with him being part of the act as well.. right.. go figure...
hmm.. haven't exactly enjoyed myself so much till the past 2 days.. maybe this long break was a good thing.. from all the madness in school and all.. and of whatever else that is flying pass me too... oh man, i really love the entire production... it was really much better than saturday night fever, though nothing can beat the dancing in sat. night... but good enough... and yes, it cost me quite a bit to watch this production so it has no reason not to be good.. right... feeling quite happy now... so now, there's no more excuse for me to slack and all.. better go do my german hausaufgabe now...
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
re: rag comm 04/05
haven't laughed so much and continuously for so long for a really long time.. but today, we did just that.. we laughed so much and so hard, that it hurts so much.. i mean, our sides.. we laughed for an hour straight.. continuously to a point, whereby we don't even remember what we were laughing about... it just felt so good to be together with the rag comm again... we just laughed about anything and everything.. from serving food.. to drinking tea.. to having dessert... to going on-stage to collect our certs... to posing for photos... to our complicated relationships within the comm... everything... all of us have not felt like this for a really long time... we even want to meet up regularly to have these 'laughing' sessions so as to train up our abs and all.. right... *laughs*..
seriously think that our table was the noisest... cheering and clapping so loudly whenever someone from our table was up on-stage... laughing really loudly at all our silly actions and all... and laughing at others too... never exactly thought that a simple 7-course dinner at the nus guild house would be that memorable... well, the company made it though..
josh was going on about how i will definitely do rag again.. but come to think of it, if this bunch of people ain't going to join the comm, don't exactly think that i would too.. the temptation is there.. but the atmosphere will be different.. i know this is dumb but.. i don't exactly know how to explain it.. but get my point?? and almost the whole table of us want to go for yep next year during the semester holidays.. so chances of us doing rag again?? well, doesn't look that good... oh wells.. till the next time we meet again.. most likely to study or for our long overdued pd and rag head treats... viele dank für alle erinnerungen!!!
seriously think that our table was the noisest... cheering and clapping so loudly whenever someone from our table was up on-stage... laughing really loudly at all our silly actions and all... and laughing at others too... never exactly thought that a simple 7-course dinner at the nus guild house would be that memorable... well, the company made it though..
josh was going on about how i will definitely do rag again.. but come to think of it, if this bunch of people ain't going to join the comm, don't exactly think that i would too.. the temptation is there.. but the atmosphere will be different.. i know this is dumb but.. i don't exactly know how to explain it.. but get my point?? and almost the whole table of us want to go for yep next year during the semester holidays.. so chances of us doing rag again?? well, doesn't look that good... oh wells.. till the next time we meet again.. most likely to study or for our long overdued pd and rag head treats... viele dank für alle erinnerungen!!!
ranting!!!
just let me rant for the next few moments to come... just realised that i've a pile of work to do... it's not that they are obviously stacked on my table.. but just that, i remember what i have to do and all... and now, my room looks like a war-zone.. stuff are spilling from the table, all the way to the floor... with a few 'mt. everest' at the side of the table.. and papers all over the place... oh yah, the main point is, i've not started on any of my work yet... 2 geog essays and loads of tutorials!!!!crap, i better start somewhere man!!! else i'll never get them done at all!!!
and yes, i really feel like i've aged 20 years or what... haven't felt so tired for a really long time... and today, i really did... dragging myself home after class today was really a challenge... thank God for my parents... my mum came to pick me up after class... else, i am so sure, i would have collapsed while walking home... okay, i'm exaggerating...
okay, just a post to let me rant for the moment.. now that i'm done.. i better get going.. sean is done with his PS essay.. i better start on mine.. somehow... else there will be no way i can throw something out by thursday!!! plus, will be so busy this whole week.. with socialising!!! oh wells... time to go pay Gibbs-Duhem a visit!!!
and yes, i really feel like i've aged 20 years or what... haven't felt so tired for a really long time... and today, i really did... dragging myself home after class today was really a challenge... thank God for my parents... my mum came to pick me up after class... else, i am so sure, i would have collapsed while walking home... okay, i'm exaggerating...
okay, just a post to let me rant for the moment.. now that i'm done.. i better get going.. sean is done with his PS essay.. i better start on mine.. somehow... else there will be no way i can throw something out by thursday!!! plus, will be so busy this whole week.. with socialising!!! oh wells... time to go pay Gibbs-Duhem a visit!!!
Monday, October 18, 2004
blessed...
today went passed me like some whirlwind.. with huge winds sweeping passed me, it's already nightfall.. and yes, i am still stuck on my stupid tutorials and not to mention, another stupid geog essay, which is due on friday and another, the following friday.. and yes, the week to come is one heck of buzzing around.. well, not in the academic sense but the social sense..
today was actually a pretty good day, considering that i did what i really love doing.. act stupid and silly.. but boy, i just feel so tired after that.. see, i always have this logic of resting and conserving energy the night before, so i won't feel that tired after the whole event.. but i came home yesterday night, without knowing that it was 1130pm already... so smart right?? and yes, i fell asleep in front of the com... waste of electricity!!!
met huiling in the afternoon to work on our geog essay.. goodness, it's in times like these that i think of miss wong.. all her crazy tactics and weird sense of humour... back then, it was really nerve-wrecking but now, it brings me the laughters.. can still remember how she was complaining about being unable to retire... goodness... and who can forget all her great adventures of chasing earthquakes and tsunamis and what other natural disasters... oh man, as much as i don't want to admit, i miss miss wong!!! and how she used to scold us in class and wanted to treat us to 'pipsi-cola'... sigh!! those were the days...
hmm.. just a tot that came up a few moments ago.. i really wonder, how can someone's attitude towards another change with a snap of the fingers... and it's not as though the other party did something terrible or whatever sorts to the other, but it just happened like that.. *faints*... i wonder what run through the brain of the first person... i mean like, what in the world did the other party do wrong?? and in the process, wreck and lose the friendship... i really don't know what to say, but it's such a great pity.. on how friends come to this stage of being strangers.. oh wells, the complexity of one's brain and emotions... sheesh, i wish i can understand it man!!! then maybe things won't be like this... sehr schade!!! ganz schlimm!!!
hmm, don't want to let issues like these get to me... even though friends mean a lot to me.. but He has blessed me with even more faithful and constant friends than i need.. He has given me friends that have gone through childhood days, teenage blues and now, school days... friends that have been with me through the tough times and the happy times.. from the moment i accidentally sat on her finger to those from the weirdest situations... no matter what, He has blessed me loads.. and has been the constant for me too!!! when i am faithless, He is faithful...
and yes, He has blessed me with the best i could ever ask for... a crowd of more than 30, whom i really love loads and am nuts over... and no matter how tired i am, they always bring up my spirits.. even if i have to act stupid and silly!!! think i better go start on ess... else it will be another session of 'i-don't-know-what's-happening'!!!! sigh... i feel so blessed!!!
today was actually a pretty good day, considering that i did what i really love doing.. act stupid and silly.. but boy, i just feel so tired after that.. see, i always have this logic of resting and conserving energy the night before, so i won't feel that tired after the whole event.. but i came home yesterday night, without knowing that it was 1130pm already... so smart right?? and yes, i fell asleep in front of the com... waste of electricity!!!
met huiling in the afternoon to work on our geog essay.. goodness, it's in times like these that i think of miss wong.. all her crazy tactics and weird sense of humour... back then, it was really nerve-wrecking but now, it brings me the laughters.. can still remember how she was complaining about being unable to retire... goodness... and who can forget all her great adventures of chasing earthquakes and tsunamis and what other natural disasters... oh man, as much as i don't want to admit, i miss miss wong!!! and how she used to scold us in class and wanted to treat us to 'pipsi-cola'... sigh!! those were the days...
hmm.. just a tot that came up a few moments ago.. i really wonder, how can someone's attitude towards another change with a snap of the fingers... and it's not as though the other party did something terrible or whatever sorts to the other, but it just happened like that.. *faints*... i wonder what run through the brain of the first person... i mean like, what in the world did the other party do wrong?? and in the process, wreck and lose the friendship... i really don't know what to say, but it's such a great pity.. on how friends come to this stage of being strangers.. oh wells, the complexity of one's brain and emotions... sheesh, i wish i can understand it man!!! then maybe things won't be like this... sehr schade!!! ganz schlimm!!!
hmm, don't want to let issues like these get to me... even though friends mean a lot to me.. but He has blessed me with even more faithful and constant friends than i need.. He has given me friends that have gone through childhood days, teenage blues and now, school days... friends that have been with me through the tough times and the happy times.. from the moment i accidentally sat on her finger to those from the weirdest situations... no matter what, He has blessed me loads.. and has been the constant for me too!!! when i am faithless, He is faithful...
and yes, He has blessed me with the best i could ever ask for... a crowd of more than 30, whom i really love loads and am nuts over... and no matter how tired i am, they always bring up my spirits.. even if i have to act stupid and silly!!! think i better go start on ess... else it will be another session of 'i-don't-know-what's-happening'!!!! sigh... i feel so blessed!!!
Saturday, October 16, 2004
childhood dreams vs. parents..
seems like a really long time ago... actually approximately 8 years ago... anyway, on my way home, i saw a mother who was staring at this booklet titled 'choice of secondary schools'... think she was trying to decide which schools to choose for her daughter, who was seated next to her but was looking out of the bus window, oblivious to what her mum was doing...
my lab partner plays volleyball and he's going to represent singapore in some international match in december... he's pretty stressed and tired now, with school, training, hall... and he said this, i'm trying to find a balance between doing what i really like and doing what my parents want me to do...
once was having a discussion with 'prof tan' about how we are living up to the expectations of parents and this was all he said, it's true that you need to answer to your parents but at the end of the day, it is you yourself that you have to answer to..
sometimes parents tell us that, there is a limit to how much they can offer us, and the rest is entirely up to us... but honestly, many of us still live, trying to fulfill the expectations set for us by them... it's really weird, how they always tell us that, at the end of the day, we have to answer to ourselves and have to take care of our futures, yet subconciously, the opinions of our parents still matter a lot.. is it coz they have gone through more than we did?? or is it coz it's safer to stick to the norm, ie. just follow where society is going towards... making decisions out of practicality and nothing out of the extraordinary??
the greatest irony is how we always say, when we become parents, we will not be like how our parents were.. well, admit it, more than half the time, we fall into the trap of following the same parenting style and rules as our own parents.. coz they have 'been there, done that'.. and they definitely know better than us on what to expect and all.. so no matter how much we try to run away from it, there's no way of escaping...
of course, there are also parents who allow their own kids to run their own lives... it has both pros and cons.. and it differs from situation to situation... some parents lose control of their kids... some parents end up having kids that are too independent... some parents have kids who manage to discover and pursue their own dreams...
so what's the conclusion?? as much as we choose to lead a life of independence, we can never skew away from our parents... their opinions will always matter.. practicality and security of the future will eventually influence us into making decisions that tom, dick and harry will make...
oh wells, this is just a verbal diarrhoea of my thoughts on what my lab partner said... not sure if it made any sense... and there's definitely more which i want to say but i shall hold my peace here.. in moments like these, i question my purpose in life.. what's the point of being on earth.. what my goals are... what i want to do with the next 50 years of my life... where will i be then... blah blah blah... maybe it's the 'hitting-20' syndrome... maybe coz i'm too stressed with school now that i'm thinking gibberish... but whatever it is.. i need Him in my life.. i really do... else i really see no purpose in everything... if it won't for His grace, a million and one things could and would have happened and who knows where I would be now... in this long journey ahead, treading a path of the unknown, i need Him to hold my hand and bring me through it all.. i need Him to carry me when i fall, i need Him to walk with me every step of the way... i need Him...
my lab partner plays volleyball and he's going to represent singapore in some international match in december... he's pretty stressed and tired now, with school, training, hall... and he said this, i'm trying to find a balance between doing what i really like and doing what my parents want me to do...
once was having a discussion with 'prof tan' about how we are living up to the expectations of parents and this was all he said, it's true that you need to answer to your parents but at the end of the day, it is you yourself that you have to answer to..
sometimes parents tell us that, there is a limit to how much they can offer us, and the rest is entirely up to us... but honestly, many of us still live, trying to fulfill the expectations set for us by them... it's really weird, how they always tell us that, at the end of the day, we have to answer to ourselves and have to take care of our futures, yet subconciously, the opinions of our parents still matter a lot.. is it coz they have gone through more than we did?? or is it coz it's safer to stick to the norm, ie. just follow where society is going towards... making decisions out of practicality and nothing out of the extraordinary??
the greatest irony is how we always say, when we become parents, we will not be like how our parents were.. well, admit it, more than half the time, we fall into the trap of following the same parenting style and rules as our own parents.. coz they have 'been there, done that'.. and they definitely know better than us on what to expect and all.. so no matter how much we try to run away from it, there's no way of escaping...
of course, there are also parents who allow their own kids to run their own lives... it has both pros and cons.. and it differs from situation to situation... some parents lose control of their kids... some parents end up having kids that are too independent... some parents have kids who manage to discover and pursue their own dreams...
so what's the conclusion?? as much as we choose to lead a life of independence, we can never skew away from our parents... their opinions will always matter.. practicality and security of the future will eventually influence us into making decisions that tom, dick and harry will make...
oh wells, this is just a verbal diarrhoea of my thoughts on what my lab partner said... not sure if it made any sense... and there's definitely more which i want to say but i shall hold my peace here.. in moments like these, i question my purpose in life.. what's the point of being on earth.. what my goals are... what i want to do with the next 50 years of my life... where will i be then... blah blah blah... maybe it's the 'hitting-20' syndrome... maybe coz i'm too stressed with school now that i'm thinking gibberish... but whatever it is.. i need Him in my life.. i really do... else i really see no purpose in everything... if it won't for His grace, a million and one things could and would have happened and who knows where I would be now... in this long journey ahead, treading a path of the unknown, i need Him to hold my hand and bring me through it all.. i need Him to carry me when i fall, i need Him to walk with me every step of the way... i need Him...
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
jumble.. jumbled... jump...
schmidt, nusselt and prandtl are messing up my brain now.. i should be spending time with them but i think i need a little break from them.. oh yes, who can forget about their best friend, reynolds too?? he's one heck of a troublesome guy!!!
anyway, had a really busy weekend and a start of the week too... and yes, what a stupid way of starting the day.. well, the story is a little too long to be typed here... oh yes, if there's anything that i must say, it's about my ss lecturer... well, he's a really nice guy but he has the best pronunciation and spelling ever... a little bit worse than my engin lecturers.. for instant, earthquakes are spelt as 'earthquicks'... okay, i shan't be evil anymore.. ss always make me sleep though.. or is it coz i have a really long weekend, that's why i'm so tired??
oh yes, met chiu weng today in the engin canteen... yup, i was having lunch while he was lucky enough to be off from class early... anyway, didn't exactly had a good start this morning but with all the crap that comes out of chiu weng's mouth, well, everything that's bothering me, momentarily vaporised... at least for that moment... rubbish ranging from how i should be frozen for 3000 years to my plot to get rid of chiu weng... guess we are just out to kill each other... but it's really nice to see him around.. as irritating and whatever else.. it helped for that moment.. and he said some stuff which set me thinking a little but not enough to bother me for too long... once again, maybe for that moment but not for long...
hmm... everyone around me seems to be falling in love, if not already in love.. oh man, this is so sweet.. seeing the guys being so sweet to their girlfriends and vice versa... doing silly stuff for each other... and i mean, really silly stuff... but seriously, just feel so happy for all of them... i mean, it's really wonderful to see them happy and all.. of course, it's not always that smooth-sailing... seen those that are really painful and it really hurts.. it hurts so deep that after a while, everything just feels so numb... well, some believe that time will do the trick but it does not always work... oh well, guess we all just crave for that feeling whereby your heart just skips a beat when you see him or her... maybe kah sum's right.. stb should just title this month as 'romancing singapore'... and yes, who needs sdu when everyone is actually doing just fine... *laughs*...
as you can see, thoughts are just flying all over my head... so i'm just putting down what i'm thinking at this moment... i so want to sleep now.. but schmidt and prandtl are still waiting for me to discuss issues with them... oh well, think i shall go look for them then... bis später...
anyway, had a really busy weekend and a start of the week too... and yes, what a stupid way of starting the day.. well, the story is a little too long to be typed here... oh yes, if there's anything that i must say, it's about my ss lecturer... well, he's a really nice guy but he has the best pronunciation and spelling ever... a little bit worse than my engin lecturers.. for instant, earthquakes are spelt as 'earthquicks'... okay, i shan't be evil anymore.. ss always make me sleep though.. or is it coz i have a really long weekend, that's why i'm so tired??
oh yes, met chiu weng today in the engin canteen... yup, i was having lunch while he was lucky enough to be off from class early... anyway, didn't exactly had a good start this morning but with all the crap that comes out of chiu weng's mouth, well, everything that's bothering me, momentarily vaporised... at least for that moment... rubbish ranging from how i should be frozen for 3000 years to my plot to get rid of chiu weng... guess we are just out to kill each other... but it's really nice to see him around.. as irritating and whatever else.. it helped for that moment.. and he said some stuff which set me thinking a little but not enough to bother me for too long... once again, maybe for that moment but not for long...
hmm... everyone around me seems to be falling in love, if not already in love.. oh man, this is so sweet.. seeing the guys being so sweet to their girlfriends and vice versa... doing silly stuff for each other... and i mean, really silly stuff... but seriously, just feel so happy for all of them... i mean, it's really wonderful to see them happy and all.. of course, it's not always that smooth-sailing... seen those that are really painful and it really hurts.. it hurts so deep that after a while, everything just feels so numb... well, some believe that time will do the trick but it does not always work... oh well, guess we all just crave for that feeling whereby your heart just skips a beat when you see him or her... maybe kah sum's right.. stb should just title this month as 'romancing singapore'... and yes, who needs sdu when everyone is actually doing just fine... *laughs*...
as you can see, thoughts are just flying all over my head... so i'm just putting down what i'm thinking at this moment... i so want to sleep now.. but schmidt and prandtl are still waiting for me to discuss issues with them... oh well, think i shall go look for them then... bis später...
Friday, October 08, 2004
the key is to... listen...
didn't have cell for a while and i really do miss cell... it's really like something that i'll look forward to and it just feels so good to be there every week... and for once, need not bother about school and all...
today's text was on fellowship.. and the word to summarise the entire text is LISTEN.. spend time to just listen to your close friends... not just on a 'hi-bye' basis... not just about catching up but hearing out what bothered them the most.. what issues are more meaningful to them.. can't exactly put everything down in words here...
then cheepeng had this mini-exercise for all of us... pair up and listen to each other... i paired up with deborah... which was a really good thing coz haven't talked to her for a really long time... and it just felt so good to share it all.. debbie was sharing hers too and just felt so encouraged by her sharing.. really... and i'm especially drawn to her screensaver message: work isn't so tough when i'm overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord! try it!
anyway, here's the misfit of the day: joanne, sean & me were at the bus-stop waiting for bus no. 165.. we were just talking away when suddenly we saw the bus... all jo and me did was to scream, while pointing at the bus... sean was like, run!! and yes, we caught the bus... but we were thinking that the people on the bus, must be thinking we are nuts... well, the thought of what happened is still really funny... *laughs*...
today's text was on fellowship.. and the word to summarise the entire text is LISTEN.. spend time to just listen to your close friends... not just on a 'hi-bye' basis... not just about catching up but hearing out what bothered them the most.. what issues are more meaningful to them.. can't exactly put everything down in words here...
then cheepeng had this mini-exercise for all of us... pair up and listen to each other... i paired up with deborah... which was a really good thing coz haven't talked to her for a really long time... and it just felt so good to share it all.. debbie was sharing hers too and just felt so encouraged by her sharing.. really... and i'm especially drawn to her screensaver message: work isn't so tough when i'm overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord! try it!
anyway, here's the misfit of the day: joanne, sean & me were at the bus-stop waiting for bus no. 165.. we were just talking away when suddenly we saw the bus... all jo and me did was to scream, while pointing at the bus... sean was like, run!! and yes, we caught the bus... but we were thinking that the people on the bus, must be thinking we are nuts... well, the thought of what happened is still really funny... *laughs*...
Thursday, October 07, 2004
in a nutshell...
hmm... for once, decided to come straight home after classes... been a while since i did that... having dinner at 12mn was almost a norm for more than a week... didn't exactly feel like staying in school today though...
in a nutshell, let's just see what happened to me during this week... for starters, i fell over a coffee table while trying to navigate my way in the dark.. have this huge blue-black on my leg now.. and jianz was going on, on how we should never announce such embarrassing issues to others.. wore skirt to school and boy, it was hideous... that's it, enough of skirts... dropped by raffles hall and bumped into jane.. spent some time catching up with her.. complaining everything from rag to hall to studies... skipped part tech lecture again but decided to go for an hour of it, which was a total waste of time as well... met cherie for lunch, which was really great.. attempted to try and study but failed somehow... too much into the socialising rather than the books...
got back the cet, ess and german papers... as usual, ess was a total disaster but a little surprising.. managed to pass cet and german but was way below the average of the class... which is not exactly a very good thing... was telling eunice, how the Lord has always give and take from me... and how i felt that He would take my german instead, considering that cet was pretty surprising too... i know that He is driving at something and i know exactly what He is driving at and He's making me learn... till the day i can let go of it and learn completely, He will still let it happen and make me learn... somehow, i'm slowly coming to terms with the lifestyle of a chem-engin student.. i know it's a little late, considering that i'm already a year 2 student.. and realised that since i'm placed here by Him, and it's definitely not by chance, why not just do what i can to glorify and honour my Creator... a hard fact to swallow and a tough 4-year course.. but He has always provided me with the grace to go through it and surely He will still coz He is faithful while man is not...
tough week with mixed feelings.. not from me but from the people around me... everyone is burning out coz of stress, school, competition, tests, bell curves and what have you... it's pretty scary to see people burning out, breaking down, doing 'sudden' silly stuffs like watching some really morbid serials.. all i can say is that, they need a break... go slack, though no one would actually do that.. go take a walk by the beach, remind yourself of the goodness of life, how we can still find little joys despite all the frenzy around us... idealistic indeed but it's not that difficult a thing to do, it's just a matter of choice.. how much you are willing to let go and go enjoy yourself for once, without any worries... but with the clear knowledge that after this, you will be refreshed enough to continue on... it won't kill to have a break, rather it's a necessity!!! go and take the break if you must...
meanwhile, still trying to pirate the les choristes soundtrack off the internet but it's not exactly working out.. must be some big hint, telling me to stop downloading... hmm, don't exactly mind a kind soul who will sponsor the cd... *laughs*... and yes, more tests next week... and more tutorials and assignments to be done..
in a nutshell, let's just see what happened to me during this week... for starters, i fell over a coffee table while trying to navigate my way in the dark.. have this huge blue-black on my leg now.. and jianz was going on, on how we should never announce such embarrassing issues to others.. wore skirt to school and boy, it was hideous... that's it, enough of skirts... dropped by raffles hall and bumped into jane.. spent some time catching up with her.. complaining everything from rag to hall to studies... skipped part tech lecture again but decided to go for an hour of it, which was a total waste of time as well... met cherie for lunch, which was really great.. attempted to try and study but failed somehow... too much into the socialising rather than the books...
got back the cet, ess and german papers... as usual, ess was a total disaster but a little surprising.. managed to pass cet and german but was way below the average of the class... which is not exactly a very good thing... was telling eunice, how the Lord has always give and take from me... and how i felt that He would take my german instead, considering that cet was pretty surprising too... i know that He is driving at something and i know exactly what He is driving at and He's making me learn... till the day i can let go of it and learn completely, He will still let it happen and make me learn... somehow, i'm slowly coming to terms with the lifestyle of a chem-engin student.. i know it's a little late, considering that i'm already a year 2 student.. and realised that since i'm placed here by Him, and it's definitely not by chance, why not just do what i can to glorify and honour my Creator... a hard fact to swallow and a tough 4-year course.. but He has always provided me with the grace to go through it and surely He will still coz He is faithful while man is not...
tough week with mixed feelings.. not from me but from the people around me... everyone is burning out coz of stress, school, competition, tests, bell curves and what have you... it's pretty scary to see people burning out, breaking down, doing 'sudden' silly stuffs like watching some really morbid serials.. all i can say is that, they need a break... go slack, though no one would actually do that.. go take a walk by the beach, remind yourself of the goodness of life, how we can still find little joys despite all the frenzy around us... idealistic indeed but it's not that difficult a thing to do, it's just a matter of choice.. how much you are willing to let go and go enjoy yourself for once, without any worries... but with the clear knowledge that after this, you will be refreshed enough to continue on... it won't kill to have a break, rather it's a necessity!!! go and take the break if you must...
meanwhile, still trying to pirate the les choristes soundtrack off the internet but it's not exactly working out.. must be some big hint, telling me to stop downloading... hmm, don't exactly mind a kind soul who will sponsor the cd... *laughs*... and yes, more tests next week... and more tutorials and assignments to be done..
Saturday, October 02, 2004
les chorites
click here for the website!!! les choristes... jasline's brillient idea but it was a good one... took a break and caught the movie with jas, kaiwei and dan!!! really good french film with really great music and acting... aber sehr schade... das film ist sehr kurz.. es dauert nur 1.75 stunde... really love this show... and really love the company!!! would really love to buy the soundtrack but it was out-of-stock till next week... oh man, why can't the germans make better movies?? *laughs*
words of wisdom..
i've walked more miles than you.. experienced more in life than you.. been there, done that more than you did.. not everything that you work hard and put in the effort for, will always produce results... sometimes, you will get immediate results.. sometimes, you will get results in the long run.. sometimes, you may not even get anything.. so what are you going to do about it?? the important thing is, no matter what, keep on going.. don't stop here...
got these words from a friend of mine... hmm.. maybe age really does make one wiser... what do you all think about it??
got these words from a friend of mine... hmm.. maybe age really does make one wiser... what do you all think about it??
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
it takes more than talent
---- john paul jackson
It takes people with godly character and habits to effectively advance the Kingdom of God. While there are many talented and anointed leaders, those who have a foundation of godly character (moral excellence) will lead more than by their words; they model by their lifestyle in ways that are truly transformational. It is who we are -- more than what we know -- that inspires genuine change in another person's life.
Each of us must decide to take the necessary steps to strengthen our own moral legacy. We must practice what we preach. We must realize that moral excellence can only be built through Bible study, quiet times with God, and a history of making "right choices" -- or what I like to call "hidden victories." Such hidden victories occur when you do the "right" thing -- pay your taxes, tithe, show kindness to your wife and children, bless someone who has hurt you -- even when no one sees you except God. A history of "hidden victories" will insure long-term success in the Kingdom.
4 Components of Godly Character
As I have studied Scripture and meditated on God's view of character, I have concluded that four components provide evidence of godly character: love, integrity, maturity, and an abundance mentality.
1. Love is essential to every ministry. The Apostle Paul wrote: "If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all His mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'Jump,' and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing" (1 Corinthians 13:2, The Message). Throughout God's Kingdom, there have been generations of "gifted nothings" -- people who have done miraculous work but who never truly understood the need for intimacy with God.
2. Integrity is the act of being honest at all times. We must forge a foundation of trust with those whom we are mentoring, equipping, and leading. If we have integrity, our words will be remembered, because others will have seen that our actions match our words. Jesus had the highest level of integrity possible; His disciples knew that Jesus practiced what He preached.
3. Maturity involves sound reasoning and decision-making. When a person has walked through the trials and fires of life, spiritual maturity is developed. God says in Isaiah 48:10, "Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction." This furnace is at full flame when we are off the platform, living our lives away from the public eye. It takes the private testing of God to see a person's character solidify and mature.
4. Abundance mentality sees God as having so much talent and anointing to give that no individual could have it all. The mind-set of abundance is about demonstrating humility -- it's not about us, but about God and His Kingdom. Anything less will breed jealousy. We must have a heart that blesses the gifts others have, knowing that all gifts are given by God to help others and to advance God's Kingdom.
"Only Through Him Can We Help Others Reach Their God-Given Destiny"
God wants us to live today in such a way that will inspire others tomorrow. He has a vantage point of what will be, not just what is, or has been.
Many of us have been content to grasp at slivers of spiritual insights, but the Holy Spirit wants to give us fuller concepts of God and His ways.
We must develop an ever-growing godly character and walk in greater integrity and maturity so that we can understand God's plans and visions for others. The Lord, by helping us practice our private victories, can make our lives a lasting and public contribution to His eternal Kingdom. Only through Him can we help others reach their God-given destiny.
---- john paul jackson
It takes people with godly character and habits to effectively advance the Kingdom of God. While there are many talented and anointed leaders, those who have a foundation of godly character (moral excellence) will lead more than by their words; they model by their lifestyle in ways that are truly transformational. It is who we are -- more than what we know -- that inspires genuine change in another person's life.
Each of us must decide to take the necessary steps to strengthen our own moral legacy. We must practice what we preach. We must realize that moral excellence can only be built through Bible study, quiet times with God, and a history of making "right choices" -- or what I like to call "hidden victories." Such hidden victories occur when you do the "right" thing -- pay your taxes, tithe, show kindness to your wife and children, bless someone who has hurt you -- even when no one sees you except God. A history of "hidden victories" will insure long-term success in the Kingdom.
4 Components of Godly Character
As I have studied Scripture and meditated on God's view of character, I have concluded that four components provide evidence of godly character: love, integrity, maturity, and an abundance mentality.
1. Love is essential to every ministry. The Apostle Paul wrote: "If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all His mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'Jump,' and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing" (1 Corinthians 13:2, The Message). Throughout God's Kingdom, there have been generations of "gifted nothings" -- people who have done miraculous work but who never truly understood the need for intimacy with God.
2. Integrity is the act of being honest at all times. We must forge a foundation of trust with those whom we are mentoring, equipping, and leading. If we have integrity, our words will be remembered, because others will have seen that our actions match our words. Jesus had the highest level of integrity possible; His disciples knew that Jesus practiced what He preached.
3. Maturity involves sound reasoning and decision-making. When a person has walked through the trials and fires of life, spiritual maturity is developed. God says in Isaiah 48:10, "Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction." This furnace is at full flame when we are off the platform, living our lives away from the public eye. It takes the private testing of God to see a person's character solidify and mature.
4. Abundance mentality sees God as having so much talent and anointing to give that no individual could have it all. The mind-set of abundance is about demonstrating humility -- it's not about us, but about God and His Kingdom. Anything less will breed jealousy. We must have a heart that blesses the gifts others have, knowing that all gifts are given by God to help others and to advance God's Kingdom.
"Only Through Him Can We Help Others Reach Their God-Given Destiny"
God wants us to live today in such a way that will inspire others tomorrow. He has a vantage point of what will be, not just what is, or has been.
Many of us have been content to grasp at slivers of spiritual insights, but the Holy Spirit wants to give us fuller concepts of God and His ways.
We must develop an ever-growing godly character and walk in greater integrity and maturity so that we can understand God's plans and visions for others. The Lord, by helping us practice our private victories, can make our lives a lasting and public contribution to His eternal Kingdom. Only through Him can we help others reach their God-given destiny.
watching the sun set...
that was exactly what i did today... can you believe this?? i actually spent my afternoon in central library, trying to study for my german and cet test.. both on thursday.. how exciting can things get... the best part is, my productivity tended towards zero... oh well, considering that i'm not exactly doing very well in my course, guess i better do something about it... and everyone was like, oh my gosh, you are studying!!!???
anyway, i got this seat next to the window.. which wasn't exactly really exciting coz all you can see is jurong island, which according to my seniors, the sight of it inspires them to study harder... right!!! but it's not working for me... then at about 630pm, yusen asked me to look out of the window.. and there, i saw the large orange sun setting.. it was fast disappearing into the horizon..
hmm, it's been a long time since i last saw the sun set.. back in Deutschland, all i saw was the sky changing from dusk to darkness within a 30-minute interval.. anyway, yusen made a comment that got me thinking: the sun is setting so fast, we must be spinning really fast but we just can't feel it happening beneath us..
i don't think we really want to feel the earth rotating coz it will just mean, we are spinning as well.. which is not a good thing... just marvelled at how wonderful the Lord has created this earth and how He looks into these little details.. making sure that these details are actually taken care of.. and how beautiful His creation is.. i mean, just look at the sun, how it rises from the east and sets in the west.. all the science behind it... of all creation, the Lord made Man the smartest of all beings yet he can't and can never do something like this... no one can fathom His wisdom...
despite the fact that everyone was busy studying and mugging in the library, and i'm supposed to be getting stressed up, i just felt so serene that moment... the sunset served as a little reminder of how God is omnipresent.. a little scary coz it means that He knows exactly what you are doing and thinking about... and everyday, He makes the sun rises and sets at the right time... it's so comforting to know that there is someone who is taking care of everything in the world, including me!!! it just feels so marvellous and wonderful... i am just too in awe...
wishing that i have more time to do this... just enjoying the Lord's creation...
anyway, i got this seat next to the window.. which wasn't exactly really exciting coz all you can see is jurong island, which according to my seniors, the sight of it inspires them to study harder... right!!! but it's not working for me... then at about 630pm, yusen asked me to look out of the window.. and there, i saw the large orange sun setting.. it was fast disappearing into the horizon..
hmm, it's been a long time since i last saw the sun set.. back in Deutschland, all i saw was the sky changing from dusk to darkness within a 30-minute interval.. anyway, yusen made a comment that got me thinking: the sun is setting so fast, we must be spinning really fast but we just can't feel it happening beneath us..
i don't think we really want to feel the earth rotating coz it will just mean, we are spinning as well.. which is not a good thing... just marvelled at how wonderful the Lord has created this earth and how He looks into these little details.. making sure that these details are actually taken care of.. and how beautiful His creation is.. i mean, just look at the sun, how it rises from the east and sets in the west.. all the science behind it... of all creation, the Lord made Man the smartest of all beings yet he can't and can never do something like this... no one can fathom His wisdom...
despite the fact that everyone was busy studying and mugging in the library, and i'm supposed to be getting stressed up, i just felt so serene that moment... the sunset served as a little reminder of how God is omnipresent.. a little scary coz it means that He knows exactly what you are doing and thinking about... and everyday, He makes the sun rises and sets at the right time... it's so comforting to know that there is someone who is taking care of everything in the world, including me!!! it just feels so marvellous and wonderful... i am just too in awe...
wishing that i have more time to do this... just enjoying the Lord's creation...
Saturday, September 25, 2004
feeling happy [version 3.0.. almost]
had a great time at SOC this evening... to have huiran back with us after the prelims and all.. yahoo!!! oh yes, we were discussing about 'belonging in God's household'... we are called to belong, not just to believe... to serve our Lord and each other too...
oh yes, we celebrated sean's and my birthdays!!! so exciting!! and we got chocolate banana cake from awfully chocolate!!! oh man!!! it's like the ultimate shop i want to visit for chocolate cakes and all.. but the catch, it's all the way in the east!!! but now, i need not travel to the east to even get to eat it!!! it's awfully sinful!!! equivalent to my mudpie from yesterday night!!!!
on the way home, joanne, sean and me actually went to the pasam malam at our place!!! joanne and sean were so drawn by the smells but we were all so bloated from the chocolate cake fiesta, no one exactly wanted to eat any more stuff... oh yes, joanne was so excited over the pasam malam.. we walked through the place and saw interesting stuff like hamtaro, doraemon etc. figurines... some childhood long ago... oh, met augustin and dale too!!! oh man, haven't seen them for ages... miss seeing all these people around and crapping with them...
oh yes... got this message today and once again, it has its ways and means to make me really happy and all!!! "happy belated birthday! haha sorry so late.. one year older, so you are one year closer to your ah-soh dreams.. :-D"
oh yes, we celebrated sean's and my birthdays!!! so exciting!! and we got chocolate banana cake from awfully chocolate!!! oh man!!! it's like the ultimate shop i want to visit for chocolate cakes and all.. but the catch, it's all the way in the east!!! but now, i need not travel to the east to even get to eat it!!! it's awfully sinful!!! equivalent to my mudpie from yesterday night!!!!
on the way home, joanne, sean and me actually went to the pasam malam at our place!!! joanne and sean were so drawn by the smells but we were all so bloated from the chocolate cake fiesta, no one exactly wanted to eat any more stuff... oh yes, joanne was so excited over the pasam malam.. we walked through the place and saw interesting stuff like hamtaro, doraemon etc. figurines... some childhood long ago... oh, met augustin and dale too!!! oh man, haven't seen them for ages... miss seeing all these people around and crapping with them...
oh yes... got this message today and once again, it has its ways and means to make me really happy and all!!! "happy belated birthday! haha sorry so late.. one year older, so you are one year closer to your ah-soh dreams.. :-D"
Thursday, September 23, 2004
feeling happy [version 2.0]
guess where i went today?? no prizes for getting it right!!! went to nydc at suntec city... yes, suntec again!!! went to suntec 3 times in one week!!! but this time, it's with liwei and weiyao, to celebrate my birthday... but half the time, i just kept getting 'suaned' by the 2 of them!!! oh yes, and how i still cannot watch a RA movie.. not that i want to but movies such as 'goodbye lenin'... stupid german film that has a RA-rating... goodness!!! *humph*...
ate my usuals at nydc... destiny's child... but dessert was not at nydc... we ended up at coffee club express at raffles city shopping centre.. but before we went over, we went to carrefour to shop!! right, we went to carrefour... and lo and behold, 3 bottles erdinger weißbier were going for $19.95... with free schwäbische knusper-brezel and erdinger towel, which liwei is really excited over and all!!! weiyao and me were going on about how the towel was most probably printed in singapore and all... *laughs*...
took a long walk over to raffles city shopping centre... had one whole muddy mud-pie to myself... oh man, it's so sinful!!! i mean, ice cream and chocolate and mudpie... goodness, it's enough to make one faint and i ate it all by myself.. and liwei ate so little.. oh my gosh, i should be so disgusted with my own appetite man!!! oh yes, yingchao and zoe dropped by to pass me one of the items on my wish-list... forget-me-nots!!! that's really nice of them and all!!! oh yes, we visited this really exciting shop... great!! i forgot the name!!! anyway, i was so tempted to just spoil myself and liwei had to stop me from doing so... else would have given in to temptation...
feeling so full and all.. but thank God for that long walk back to suntec, which kind of aided in digestion of all the food swimming in my stomach... but it was a tiring walk since we were all pretty tired and all... talked so much crap and rubbish... nonsense crap that made me feel really silly but happy and all.. really thank God for friends like these 2 guys.. just thinking back, it's really weird how we became such good friends too... it's the wonders of friendship and how God has brought such friends into my life...
had a little talk with my brother on the way home... can't exactly say much here but...
"do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy , and where theives do not break in and steal. for where you treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6: 19-21
once again, thanks loads guys!!! really enjoyed myself.. though we all got so crappy and tired along the way.. coupled with lan game and all!!! right!!! and oh yes, luke is going for his biking competition on sunday too!!! feeling excited for him...
ate my usuals at nydc... destiny's child... but dessert was not at nydc... we ended up at coffee club express at raffles city shopping centre.. but before we went over, we went to carrefour to shop!! right, we went to carrefour... and lo and behold, 3 bottles erdinger weißbier were going for $19.95... with free schwäbische knusper-brezel and erdinger towel, which liwei is really excited over and all!!! weiyao and me were going on about how the towel was most probably printed in singapore and all... *laughs*...
took a long walk over to raffles city shopping centre... had one whole muddy mud-pie to myself... oh man, it's so sinful!!! i mean, ice cream and chocolate and mudpie... goodness, it's enough to make one faint and i ate it all by myself.. and liwei ate so little.. oh my gosh, i should be so disgusted with my own appetite man!!! oh yes, yingchao and zoe dropped by to pass me one of the items on my wish-list... forget-me-nots!!! that's really nice of them and all!!! oh yes, we visited this really exciting shop... great!! i forgot the name!!! anyway, i was so tempted to just spoil myself and liwei had to stop me from doing so... else would have given in to temptation...
feeling so full and all.. but thank God for that long walk back to suntec, which kind of aided in digestion of all the food swimming in my stomach... but it was a tiring walk since we were all pretty tired and all... talked so much crap and rubbish... nonsense crap that made me feel really silly but happy and all.. really thank God for friends like these 2 guys.. just thinking back, it's really weird how we became such good friends too... it's the wonders of friendship and how God has brought such friends into my life...
had a little talk with my brother on the way home... can't exactly say much here but...
"do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy , and where theives do not break in and steal. for where you treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6: 19-21
once again, thanks loads guys!!! really enjoyed myself.. though we all got so crappy and tired along the way.. coupled with lan game and all!!! right!!! and oh yes, luke is going for his biking competition on sunday too!!! feeling excited for him...
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
20 years of existence..
ending the 20th year of my existence on earth and starting on my 21st... well, today may be the quietest and most boring birthday ever... but it's one that i really enjoyed loads... no hot dates, no loud parties.. just quietness...
had a really long talk with meine 'mutter' till the wee hours of the night... really nice to be talking to her and all.. can't believe the stuff that we talked and all.. but it was really great to be catching up with her despite all the frenzy in school and all..
anyway, slept most of the day away despite the fact that i have to study.. but everyone's like, it's your birthday, go enjoy yourself first!!! sleep is good... well, at least to me.. and my parents had to wake me up for dinner...
went to crystal jade @ suntec city... had the usuals.. but i really liked dinner... then went to the häagen daaz at esplanade for dessert!!! sehr spannend!!! seriously, you can just faint at the dessert spread there, though it's all ice cream and all.. now you understand why my diet plan will never work out!!! yupz, all in all, it's pure indulgence!! went to the waterfront.. it just kinda felt different though i was there on monday night too.. as usual, i love the lights, the smell of the sea... the little quietness there, despite the fact that there was a cocktail party at harry's...
just thinking through... having lived 20 years now.. what have these years been like? realised that many things won't be how it is if it won't for the people around me.. people who have been with me all the way.. encouraged me through all the down-times.. shared my joy during the up-times... realised how blessed i am.. with my family... and with the friends, be it overseas or back home.. how faithful and wonderful they are...
but most importantly, realised how would life have been, if it won't for one person... my Heavenly Father, my Lord, my Saviour.. realised how desperately i need Him in my life.. despite the many times i try with my own will, with my own earthly wisdom and strength, only to realise that i always fail and end up in the pits... realised that He is the one the truly gives strength to the weak and riches to the poor... i'm actually lost for words here.. i'm just so overwhelmed by His grace and His love.. just wondering, how can anyone love us unconditionally... it's just too good to be true but IT IS!!! isn't that amazing?? 'amazing love, how can it be.. that you my King would die for me..'
i am where i am because of Him... i am here by grace..
"we love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19
had a really long talk with meine 'mutter' till the wee hours of the night... really nice to be talking to her and all.. can't believe the stuff that we talked and all.. but it was really great to be catching up with her despite all the frenzy in school and all..
anyway, slept most of the day away despite the fact that i have to study.. but everyone's like, it's your birthday, go enjoy yourself first!!! sleep is good... well, at least to me.. and my parents had to wake me up for dinner...
went to crystal jade @ suntec city... had the usuals.. but i really liked dinner... then went to the häagen daaz at esplanade for dessert!!! sehr spannend!!! seriously, you can just faint at the dessert spread there, though it's all ice cream and all.. now you understand why my diet plan will never work out!!! yupz, all in all, it's pure indulgence!! went to the waterfront.. it just kinda felt different though i was there on monday night too.. as usual, i love the lights, the smell of the sea... the little quietness there, despite the fact that there was a cocktail party at harry's...
just thinking through... having lived 20 years now.. what have these years been like? realised that many things won't be how it is if it won't for the people around me.. people who have been with me all the way.. encouraged me through all the down-times.. shared my joy during the up-times... realised how blessed i am.. with my family... and with the friends, be it overseas or back home.. how faithful and wonderful they are...
but most importantly, realised how would life have been, if it won't for one person... my Heavenly Father, my Lord, my Saviour.. realised how desperately i need Him in my life.. despite the many times i try with my own will, with my own earthly wisdom and strength, only to realise that i always fail and end up in the pits... realised that He is the one the truly gives strength to the weak and riches to the poor... i'm actually lost for words here.. i'm just so overwhelmed by His grace and His love.. just wondering, how can anyone love us unconditionally... it's just too good to be true but IT IS!!! isn't that amazing?? 'amazing love, how can it be.. that you my King would die for me..'
i am where i am because of Him... i am here by grace..
"we love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19
wish list 2004/2005
- nike track shoes [checked]
- dinner at stammtisch or tamade..
- forget-me-nots & baby-breaths…
- schwarzwälder kirschtorte from hilton hotel…
- olympus digital camera [checked]
- backpack… 60L or more though
- backpacking trip to Europe, which will cost about 5000 bucks!!!
- change my spectacles frame [checked]
- watch ‘mamma-mia’…
- improve deutschsprache…
- brief von meiner gästfamilie
- card from nitya in Nottingham… [checked]
- nokia 6100
- luke & yunling to do well for their exams..
- luke to win his biking competition...
- see all of them grow up... elizabeth, daniel, bernice, grace lee, grace tan, magdalene, isabel, jacob, issac, chloe, celeste, clarence, charlene, samuel, adele, zekiel, joshua, david, marven, martin, maranda, jonathan, nicholas, shoupin, micheal, michelle, glenda, germaine, roshen, emma, zoe-ern... and many more...
- and many more wishes...
- dinner at stammtisch or tamade..
- forget-me-nots & baby-breaths…
- schwarzwälder kirschtorte from hilton hotel…
- olympus digital camera [checked]
- backpack… 60L or more though
- backpacking trip to Europe, which will cost about 5000 bucks!!!
- change my spectacles frame [checked]
- watch ‘mamma-mia’…
- improve deutschsprache…
- brief von meiner gästfamilie
- card from nitya in Nottingham… [checked]
- nokia 6100
- luke & yunling to do well for their exams..
- luke to win his biking competition...
- see all of them grow up... elizabeth, daniel, bernice, grace lee, grace tan, magdalene, isabel, jacob, issac, chloe, celeste, clarence, charlene, samuel, adele, zekiel, joshua, david, marven, martin, maranda, jonathan, nicholas, shoupin, micheal, michelle, glenda, germaine, roshen, emma, zoe-ern... and many more...
- and many more wishes...
feeling happy [version 1.0.. surprise!!!]
just came back about 3 hours ago... from sally's and kurt's place... it was really nice.. i don't exactly know how to say it.. going to keep it short and sweet here... but it's really nice... and they really shocked me...
we had baked baby potatoes for appetiser.. with mayo and spring onions... it's pretty exciting.. reminded me of the baked potatoes back in Deutschland, except that that was with sour cream... sally was telling me how the potatoes have been scrubbed and baked at 220 degrees, so they are bacteria-free... next was the pizza that kurt has been working on since i got there.. and oh my gosh, it was actually my birthday pizza!!! cool right?? with 2 candles and this little card on it!! the pizza has a crust that was flown in from overseas and the fillings, such as chicken bits, pineapples, capsicum, mozeralla cheese... and all are really good.. schmeckt gut!!! sehr spannend!!! oh yes, dessert was mango pudding with real mango bits in there!!! *faints*... think my diet plan will not work out at all..
spent some time catching up with sally and all.. discussing about issues and all.. how the past year has gone by and what i've learnt and all.. that is, if i did learn anything at all.. yupz, if you still don't know, sally has been my mentor for the past 2 years... and there's a lot of things that i really want to tell her and all.. but it's not as easy as it seems to be... lost of words here and some of you will understand why... it's really really nice of both of them... and i'm going to miss them...
we had baked baby potatoes for appetiser.. with mayo and spring onions... it's pretty exciting.. reminded me of the baked potatoes back in Deutschland, except that that was with sour cream... sally was telling me how the potatoes have been scrubbed and baked at 220 degrees, so they are bacteria-free... next was the pizza that kurt has been working on since i got there.. and oh my gosh, it was actually my birthday pizza!!! cool right?? with 2 candles and this little card on it!! the pizza has a crust that was flown in from overseas and the fillings, such as chicken bits, pineapples, capsicum, mozeralla cheese... and all are really good.. schmeckt gut!!! sehr spannend!!! oh yes, dessert was mango pudding with real mango bits in there!!! *faints*... think my diet plan will not work out at all..
spent some time catching up with sally and all.. discussing about issues and all.. how the past year has gone by and what i've learnt and all.. that is, if i did learn anything at all.. yupz, if you still don't know, sally has been my mentor for the past 2 years... and there's a lot of things that i really want to tell her and all.. but it's not as easy as it seems to be... lost of words here and some of you will understand why... it's really really nice of both of them... and i'm going to miss them...
Sunday, September 19, 2004
oktoberfest..
heute fängt das OKTOBERFEST in München an!!! es dauert für 16 tage bis 3rd oktober 2004!!! schade!!! ich bin jetzt nicht in Deutschland sonst werde ich zu das fest gehen!!! ich habe das bier vermisst!!! jawohl!! erdinger… aber das fest präsentiert von paulaner…hmm, alles schmeckt sehr gut… das wetter, die essen, die stimmung… alles, besonders feste und karnevals!!! ich hoffe, ich kann hin sein aber es ist sehr teuer!!! ein flugschein kostet mehr als $1000… ich habe kein geld!!! schade… sehr schade!!!
dann habe ich auf der zeitung gelesen:
OKTOBERFEST
Binge on Bavarian wheat beer, make merry with your buddies and feat on sausages and pork knuckles at the annual Oktoberfest, billed as the biggest here in five years.
Swiss Club, Swiss Club Road, 10am, Tickets: $15 for child under 12 and $30 for an adult for buffet spread (pay $40 for a booklet of drink coupons)
schade!!!! ich hätte einen sehr beschäftigten tag und wär müde!!! sehr schade!!! es ist nur heute!!! ich möchte erdinger bier von cold storage gourmet kaufen weil ich meine eltern es probieren möchte aber es ist sehr teuer auch!!!
argh!! liwei fliegt nach Deutschland für eine woche!!! ich bin eifersüchtig auf ihn aber… aber… schade!!! hmm.. es ist okay… nächstes jahr…
dann habe ich auf der zeitung gelesen:
OKTOBERFEST
Binge on Bavarian wheat beer, make merry with your buddies and feat on sausages and pork knuckles at the annual Oktoberfest, billed as the biggest here in five years.
Swiss Club, Swiss Club Road, 10am, Tickets: $15 for child under 12 and $30 for an adult for buffet spread (pay $40 for a booklet of drink coupons)
schade!!!! ich hätte einen sehr beschäftigten tag und wär müde!!! sehr schade!!! es ist nur heute!!! ich möchte erdinger bier von cold storage gourmet kaufen weil ich meine eltern es probieren möchte aber es ist sehr teuer auch!!!
argh!! liwei fliegt nach Deutschland für eine woche!!! ich bin eifersüchtig auf ihn aber… aber… schade!!! hmm.. es ist okay… nächstes jahr…
i'm a believer [funky christian version]
I thought God was nothing but a fairy tale
Good for someone else but not for me
Sin was out to get me, that's the way it seemed
Disappointment shattered all my dreams...
Then I saw His grace, I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I've been changed I'm a believer
Jesus is a walking by my side
I though love was mine just for the taking
But even more I took the less I got
Not afraid of sin now
Jesus broke the chains
Not the more I give the more I'm changed
Then I saw His grace, I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I've been changed I'm a believer
Jesus is a walking by my side
You could fine His grace
Come be a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
You can change
Be a believer Jesus will walk right by your side
Good for someone else but not for me
Sin was out to get me, that's the way it seemed
Disappointment shattered all my dreams...
Then I saw His grace, I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I've been changed I'm a believer
Jesus is a walking by my side
I though love was mine just for the taking
But even more I took the less I got
Not afraid of sin now
Jesus broke the chains
Not the more I give the more I'm changed
Then I saw His grace, I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I've been changed I'm a believer
Jesus is a walking by my side
You could fine His grace
Come be a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
You can change
Be a believer Jesus will walk right by your side
Saturday, September 18, 2004
mid-autumn festival..
haven't seen them for a really long day... and i finally successful got myself out of the house after much delay and all... met cherie and szemin at es teler 77 for lunch.. ate pretty interesting stuff.. after that, we went to takashimaya to sample the mooncakes and all.. this is the 1st time i've ever put mooncake in my mouth.. well, i know i eat a lot but there's a lot of things that i do not eat as well..
left at about 430pm to go to st. margs for my church's mid-autumn fest.. did a major jaywalk in order to catch my bus and all!!! goodness.. got there just on time... anyway, uncle edwin paired me with joan for this particular game... titled bowling.. yes, i know the name is really boring but it's an amazing game!!!
it's bowling with a twist!!! instead of having the chance of having a bowling ball and pins, you have a coconut [with its juice extracted] and 6 filled mineral water-bottles!!! oh yes, and the starting point varies with age.. the younger you are, the nearer you get to stand towards the 'pins'... the older you are, the further you are... this is so cooL!!! seriously!!! you may say that i'm nuts and all.. but doing games for kids is one of the best things that can happen to you.. indeed it is tiring.. you have to maintain an energy level that is higher than that of the kids.. you have act like a kid and yet to be loud at the same time.. but seriously, it's one of the stuff i really enjoy doing and all...
oh yes, the reward of the game is a character stamp... erm, it's the ones that we used to buy when we are kids.. and we would get so excited over the different types of characters and all.. that's exactly how the kids were feeling today.. daniel kept coming back to our station and was going on about how he will aim at my head instead... isabel assumed the role of picking up the 'pins' and the 'ball' after each throw... *laughs*... had to coax some of the kids.. and teach them how to play and all.. right!!!
and boy, it was hot!!! not just from the prespiration but also from the heat that was radiating from the brick parade square... my goodness!!! after the whole game, joan and me just stood there, trying to feel the breeze on our faces... but it's really minimal.. she was commenting on how people might mistake us as worshipping God... but think that it would be really good thing to do as well!!!
anyway, we finally 'closed shop' at 7pm.. by then, the coconut has suffered pretty severe injuries... jawohl!!! es ist KAPUTT!!! du kannst nicht es noch benutzen!!! yah.. so we must call it quits for the game.. both of us were so tired.. must be all the jumping and running around.. the hype we tried to create for the kids.. gosh, must be the age man!!!
and i've got another children event tomorrow morning.. hmm, i think i better start conserving energy now.. else tomorrow, will bound to lose out to the kids in terms of energy...
left at about 430pm to go to st. margs for my church's mid-autumn fest.. did a major jaywalk in order to catch my bus and all!!! goodness.. got there just on time... anyway, uncle edwin paired me with joan for this particular game... titled bowling.. yes, i know the name is really boring but it's an amazing game!!!
it's bowling with a twist!!! instead of having the chance of having a bowling ball and pins, you have a coconut [with its juice extracted] and 6 filled mineral water-bottles!!! oh yes, and the starting point varies with age.. the younger you are, the nearer you get to stand towards the 'pins'... the older you are, the further you are... this is so cooL!!! seriously!!! you may say that i'm nuts and all.. but doing games for kids is one of the best things that can happen to you.. indeed it is tiring.. you have to maintain an energy level that is higher than that of the kids.. you have act like a kid and yet to be loud at the same time.. but seriously, it's one of the stuff i really enjoy doing and all...
oh yes, the reward of the game is a character stamp... erm, it's the ones that we used to buy when we are kids.. and we would get so excited over the different types of characters and all.. that's exactly how the kids were feeling today.. daniel kept coming back to our station and was going on about how he will aim at my head instead... isabel assumed the role of picking up the 'pins' and the 'ball' after each throw... *laughs*... had to coax some of the kids.. and teach them how to play and all.. right!!!
and boy, it was hot!!! not just from the prespiration but also from the heat that was radiating from the brick parade square... my goodness!!! after the whole game, joan and me just stood there, trying to feel the breeze on our faces... but it's really minimal.. she was commenting on how people might mistake us as worshipping God... but think that it would be really good thing to do as well!!!
anyway, we finally 'closed shop' at 7pm.. by then, the coconut has suffered pretty severe injuries... jawohl!!! es ist KAPUTT!!! du kannst nicht es noch benutzen!!! yah.. so we must call it quits for the game.. both of us were so tired.. must be all the jumping and running around.. the hype we tried to create for the kids.. gosh, must be the age man!!!
and i've got another children event tomorrow morning.. hmm, i think i better start conserving energy now.. else tomorrow, will bound to lose out to the kids in terms of energy...
sleepless night
eunice is right about this.. you can't sleep after going to the airport... and no matter how hard you try, that image you saw at the departure gate just can't be erased away...
just came back from youth leaders' meeting too.. my 1st time at the meeting.. previously, can't attend any coz the meetings always clash with my german lessons and whatever else... anyway, it was really an experience there.. whatever that has been said, is filled with honesty and all.. there's no need to hold back anything.. just do it man...
anyway, just want to share about something that has really touched my heart a lot... or rather, it has always been something close to my heart... many times, i really wonder why her, of all people... how we tried time and time again... nick once told me not to give up but just press on... i honestly admit, i almost gave up..
until this year... there i was, at the corner, trying to recover from my own shock, my own disappointment and tears.. she came up from behind and just hugged me... i never told her this, but i was really encouraged by her action... just that simple hug, it really warmed my heart.. that hug really meant a lot to me...
noelle once asked me, given the choice to choose either her or another of my dear gals to mentor, who would you pick?? before i could answer that question, she said this, i know the answer already... and i know she really did... everyone close to me knows how much she matters to me and all...
deborah shared on how much she has changed... how cheery she is and all!!! it really warms my heart... it just made me think back of those times but who cares about that?? she brightens up a lot... and at this rate, she can become my sunshine too!!!really want to thank the Lord for this... it really means a lot to me...
well... bet she will read this some day and just want to tell her this... hey babe, i'm really proud of you.. to see you smiling so much has always been my wish.. sometimes, i really wish i could help you in everything, but God has shown me that i am not able to do so... and to see that you are having so much fun in school, in cell, in church, it really warms my heart and all... and most of all, to see how you have grown over this year, it's really encouraging.. i really want to thank God for 'putting' you in my life!!! hope that the week has gone well for you... and remember that God is ever faithful yah?? meanwhile, don't have too many late nights and do remember to kick some ass when doing project work yah?? thanks for being such a wonderful gal to me... love ya loads!!! oh yes, mafia roxs.. =)
just came back from youth leaders' meeting too.. my 1st time at the meeting.. previously, can't attend any coz the meetings always clash with my german lessons and whatever else... anyway, it was really an experience there.. whatever that has been said, is filled with honesty and all.. there's no need to hold back anything.. just do it man...
anyway, just want to share about something that has really touched my heart a lot... or rather, it has always been something close to my heart... many times, i really wonder why her, of all people... how we tried time and time again... nick once told me not to give up but just press on... i honestly admit, i almost gave up..
until this year... there i was, at the corner, trying to recover from my own shock, my own disappointment and tears.. she came up from behind and just hugged me... i never told her this, but i was really encouraged by her action... just that simple hug, it really warmed my heart.. that hug really meant a lot to me...
noelle once asked me, given the choice to choose either her or another of my dear gals to mentor, who would you pick?? before i could answer that question, she said this, i know the answer already... and i know she really did... everyone close to me knows how much she matters to me and all...
deborah shared on how much she has changed... how cheery she is and all!!! it really warms my heart... it just made me think back of those times but who cares about that?? she brightens up a lot... and at this rate, she can become my sunshine too!!!really want to thank the Lord for this... it really means a lot to me...
well... bet she will read this some day and just want to tell her this... hey babe, i'm really proud of you.. to see you smiling so much has always been my wish.. sometimes, i really wish i could help you in everything, but God has shown me that i am not able to do so... and to see that you are having so much fun in school, in cell, in church, it really warms my heart and all... and most of all, to see how you have grown over this year, it's really encouraging.. i really want to thank God for 'putting' you in my life!!! hope that the week has gone well for you... and remember that God is ever faithful yah?? meanwhile, don't have too many late nights and do remember to kick some ass when doing project work yah?? thanks for being such a wonderful gal to me... love ya loads!!! oh yes, mafia roxs.. =)
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
crap!!!
crap... i don't know how to say this exactly... but crap!!!! I FEEL LIKE CRAP TODAY!!!!! i don't know what happening anymore... i don't know what's happening in school, in my life, in everything... it just feels so detached.. so distance... crap!!! this feels totally crap... even trying to be numb to everything, doesn't help anymore... crap, i just don't know at all...
Sunday, September 12, 2004
diet..
seriously should do something to my diet.. getting a little too overboard and it's starting to scare me... as all of you should know, i absolutely love eating and especially since i got back from Deutschland, i've been looking out for really exciting food... well, at least exciting in my dictionary... and not to mention that my stomach has grown to the size of a cow... that i can't believe as well, but it's true!!!! this is so embarrassing...
everyone says that i don't look my weight but it's the wonders of fashion!!! i'm so smart!!! erm, i think i better stop before it all gets to my head... but the point is, i should at least work at trying to adjust my weight a little.. towards the part that tends towards zero, not the other end...
so surprised that i actually resisted macs this afternoon, but i came home to my jafa viennese and gummibärchen instead.. which is not exactly a really good thing too... *laughs*... oh man, i'm so going to miss marks and spensers!!! oh no!!!! hmm, shall save that for next year when i go on a spree!!!
made a bet with my friend about our grades and if i lose, i will have to travel to the east to go try all the good stuff over there... oh no, at this rate, i don't think my aspiration towards weight reduction will ever come true!! *laughs*... just ask celia, florence, tim and all from dinner yesterday night...
everyone says that i don't look my weight but it's the wonders of fashion!!! i'm so smart!!! erm, i think i better stop before it all gets to my head... but the point is, i should at least work at trying to adjust my weight a little.. towards the part that tends towards zero, not the other end...
so surprised that i actually resisted macs this afternoon, but i came home to my jafa viennese and gummibärchen instead.. which is not exactly a really good thing too... *laughs*... oh man, i'm so going to miss marks and spensers!!! oh no!!!! hmm, shall save that for next year when i go on a spree!!!
made a bet with my friend about our grades and if i lose, i will have to travel to the east to go try all the good stuff over there... oh no, at this rate, i don't think my aspiration towards weight reduction will ever come true!! *laughs*... just ask celia, florence, tim and all from dinner yesterday night...
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
so full!!!
haven't ate so much for such a long time.. for starters, i had 2 lunches today... one at engin and once again, engin food still taste like crap... and the second one was at arts... which is so much better...
went with my parents for dinner at parkway thai... oh man!!! i fainted at the amount of food... but it all just tasted so good... the best thing?? thai green chicken curry!!!! *phew*... i absolutely love it man.. oh yes, there's basli leaf hot plate beancurd... chicken wings with minced meat stuffings... vermicelli with prawn.. oh man, it's so awesome... well, a little too spicy for me.. but once in a while, all in the name of food...
confession: i have the stomach of a cow...
oh oh, had a visit to marks and spensers too.. oh man!!! sehr spannend!!! bought quite a bit of stuff during this little trip of mine... i don't think you have ever seen someone so excited over buying stuff from marks and spensers... hahha, but there's me!!! =)
went with my parents for dinner at parkway thai... oh man!!! i fainted at the amount of food... but it all just tasted so good... the best thing?? thai green chicken curry!!!! *phew*... i absolutely love it man.. oh yes, there's basli leaf hot plate beancurd... chicken wings with minced meat stuffings... vermicelli with prawn.. oh man, it's so awesome... well, a little too spicy for me.. but once in a while, all in the name of food...
confession: i have the stomach of a cow...
oh oh, had a visit to marks and spensers too.. oh man!!! sehr spannend!!! bought quite a bit of stuff during this little trip of mine... i don't think you have ever seen someone so excited over buying stuff from marks and spensers... hahha, but there's me!!! =)
Monday, September 06, 2004
fic pd treat!!!!
i can't believe this but i'm still feeling super bloated from dinner...
had our fic pd treat today... but i wasn't there for the debrief coz of deutschunterricht... anyway, we went to holland village for dinner... not that exciting coz we ended up in NYDC... rather, it was the company that made it interesting...
darren disappeared after the debrief... marc/ tammi/ lishan/ elaine/ ken/ liruo/ desmond/ wanling & me occupied and set our weights in NYDC... we had too many menus with us.. * laughs*... it was so weird trying to collect all the menus together... tammi/ lishan/ marc & wanling are on some weird diet.. all they had were desserts and floats... as usual, lishan had to eat something chocolatey but lo and behold, her ice-cream flavours were not available... elaine and me had some mushroom pasta from the oven-baked specialties collection!!! sehr spannend.. mine was called destiny's child!!! ken had some spaghetti, liruo had lasagna... i can't exactly what did desmond eat though... marc commented on how much elaine and me could eat... well, i must say, i can eat more than elaine man!!! anyway, elaine and me shared this really exciting chocolate dessert... cookie monster mudpie!!! oh my gosh, it's just so sinful... but i still prefer that from coffee club express... elaine and me were trying so hard to tempt everyone else but it didn't work...
afterwhich, we actually went to wala-wala for live music!!! *woohoo!!! ben, i finally went to wala-wala!!!!* it's pretty cool.. but the music was just too loud... and the place was filled with smoke!! and it's not exactly a very wise move to go with all your books and all... but see, we came from school so you can't blame us for the mugger-look!!! marc ordered some beer but seriously, after tasting erdinger, everything else just fall flat... anyway, we put in 2 song requests... 'she will be loved' by maroon 5 & 'the reason' by hoobastank... but elaine/ tammi & me did not stay to hear them coz we had to go home... to do assignment... to sleep...
had our fic pd treat today... but i wasn't there for the debrief coz of deutschunterricht... anyway, we went to holland village for dinner... not that exciting coz we ended up in NYDC... rather, it was the company that made it interesting...
darren disappeared after the debrief... marc/ tammi/ lishan/ elaine/ ken/ liruo/ desmond/ wanling & me occupied and set our weights in NYDC... we had too many menus with us.. * laughs*... it was so weird trying to collect all the menus together... tammi/ lishan/ marc & wanling are on some weird diet.. all they had were desserts and floats... as usual, lishan had to eat something chocolatey but lo and behold, her ice-cream flavours were not available... elaine and me had some mushroom pasta from the oven-baked specialties collection!!! sehr spannend.. mine was called destiny's child!!! ken had some spaghetti, liruo had lasagna... i can't exactly what did desmond eat though... marc commented on how much elaine and me could eat... well, i must say, i can eat more than elaine man!!! anyway, elaine and me shared this really exciting chocolate dessert... cookie monster mudpie!!! oh my gosh, it's just so sinful... but i still prefer that from coffee club express... elaine and me were trying so hard to tempt everyone else but it didn't work...
afterwhich, we actually went to wala-wala for live music!!! *woohoo!!! ben, i finally went to wala-wala!!!!* it's pretty cool.. but the music was just too loud... and the place was filled with smoke!! and it's not exactly a very wise move to go with all your books and all... but see, we came from school so you can't blame us for the mugger-look!!! marc ordered some beer but seriously, after tasting erdinger, everything else just fall flat... anyway, we put in 2 song requests... 'she will be loved' by maroon 5 & 'the reason' by hoobastank... but elaine/ tammi & me did not stay to hear them coz we had to go home... to do assignment... to sleep...
Saturday, September 04, 2004
after a while...
after a while, you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
and futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
after a while, you learn..
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong.
and you really have worth.
and you learn and learn...
with every goodbye you learn.
~ Veronica Shoffstall
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
and futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
after a while, you learn..
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong.
and you really have worth.
and you learn and learn...
with every goodbye you learn.
~ Veronica Shoffstall
Friday, September 03, 2004
ein guter tag... except for the snails...
this is really terrible... due to the poor lighting of the area, i nearly stepped on 2 snails... yup, full grown ones.. plus there was a huge crowd there, which made walking even harder!!! reminded me of all those gatherings and parties at alex's place... coz once, i really did squash the really small snails in his garden... it was an accident!!!!
anyway, had a pretty interesting session at cell today... we had invited guests!!! uncle jeam & aunty jean... pastor nick & aunty jasvindar.. both couples to share about their courtship, marriage and life after getting married... pretty good advices here and there.. learnt abt some of their secrets and all.. was pretty amusing.. esp uncle jeam!!! he's so different from that uncle jeam we see on sundays.. telling the kids not to run when walking down the aisle... trying to get people to fill the seats in front... yup, really nice to have them with us today... and he added this last statement for the guys... "if you are in the wrong, say i'm sorry.. but when you are right, just shut up!!" to everything, prayer is important... and hear what the Lord has to say and what He has planned for you..
oh yes, we celebrated joanne's and josh's birthdays too... banana chocolate cake with cookies & cream ice cream!!! spannend arh!!! eunice and me had this big scheme to go collect the cake and the ice cream from the pantry on level 3.. well, joanne thought both of us had stomachache together... *laughs*...
anyway, had a pretty interesting session at cell today... we had invited guests!!! uncle jeam & aunty jean... pastor nick & aunty jasvindar.. both couples to share about their courtship, marriage and life after getting married... pretty good advices here and there.. learnt abt some of their secrets and all.. was pretty amusing.. esp uncle jeam!!! he's so different from that uncle jeam we see on sundays.. telling the kids not to run when walking down the aisle... trying to get people to fill the seats in front... yup, really nice to have them with us today... and he added this last statement for the guys... "if you are in the wrong, say i'm sorry.. but when you are right, just shut up!!" to everything, prayer is important... and hear what the Lord has to say and what He has planned for you..
oh yes, we celebrated joanne's and josh's birthdays too... banana chocolate cake with cookies & cream ice cream!!! spannend arh!!! eunice and me had this big scheme to go collect the cake and the ice cream from the pantry on level 3.. well, joanne thought both of us had stomachache together... *laughs*...
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
lunch at nus arts canteen... eunice and me had school, while william was on course at engin fac... noelle came to pay us a visit... it was really nice to catch up and all... and of course, eating lunch as well... we ate apple salad, minced-meat meepok, seafood noodle... filling enough to last the whole afternoon through.. yummy..
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